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A License To Spill September 5, 2010

Posted by nrhatch in Blogging, Humor, Music & Dance.
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Dollar-BillsAs cities, towns, counties, states, and the federal government struggle to balance the budget, our elected representatives are becoming more and more creative in their efforts to bring in additional revenue.

Case in point:  a tax on blogging!

Yup, you heard me right.

In the City of Brotherly Love, bloggers who earn income from advertisers will have to apply for a Business License at a cost of $50 to $300!

What is being dubbed as the “blogger tax” is a recent demand by cash-strapped Philadelphia for bloggers to pay $50 a year or $300 for a lifetime business license.  There is no revenue minimum for this tax, so all bloggers who earn any money from their blogs are required to pay it.

Full article:  Philadelphia’s Blogger Tax is a Slippery Slope

I guess Philadelphia figures that if Bond needed a license to kill . . . bloggers should have a license to spill.

Next up?  . . . A license to grill and chill.

What I want to know . . . what ever happened to Philadelphia Freedom?

Guess it doesn’t apply to FREE speech and FREEDOM of the press.

Laugh Calculator: Solution (Post #777) September 5, 2010

Posted by nrhatch in People.
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Here’s Calvin with his solution to the Fun with Math: Laugh Calculator.

We picked a number (e.g., 9), multiplied by 2, added 7, multiplied by 50, added 1660 (or 1659, depending on our birthdate), subtracted our four digit year of birth (e.g., 1989) and ended with a 3 digit number: 

9 x 2 = 18 + 7 = 25 x 50 = 1250 + 1660 = 2910 – 1989 = 921

* The first digit = how many times we wanted to laugh out loud (e.g., 9).

* The last two digits = our current age (e.g., 21).

* * * * *

So, how does the Laugh Calculator work?  Here’s Calvin’s solution: 

1. We multiplied the number picked in step 1 by 100

e.g., 9 x 2 (step 2) x 50 (step 4) = 900

As a result, the number we picked “magically” becomes the first digit of the three digit number (step 7):  9xx

2.  In step 3, we added  to the equation, then multiplied it by 50 (step 4):

7 x 50 = 350

3.  In step 5, we added 1660 (or 1659 for birthdays still to come):

350 + 1660 = 2010 (the current year!)

When you subtract the year you were born from the current year, your age “magically” appears at the last 2 digits of the 3 digit number: 21

And, for those whose birthday has not arrived yet this year, we subtract the year of birth from 2009, instead of 2010.

Stay tuned!  More fun to come!

Do You Feel Lucky, Punk? September 5, 2010

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, People.
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Frog-CircusAnna Maria Island and its neighboring island, Longboat Key, are fairly quiet communities, not known for being a hotbed of criminal activity.

Given the limited number and nature of crimes, the local weekly newspapers report arrests and investigations in Cops Corner(The Longboat Observer) and Beach Beat(The Anna Maria Island Sun).

One recent article in Cops Corner caught my eye.  On July 31st, at 7:12 pm, police responded to a Disturbance (Off the Key):

Police told several people to stop jumping off the south end of Longboat Pass Bridge.  They were told to turn their radio down and that it was illegal to drink beer on the island.

As police started to walk away, one young man wearing a thong and holding a beer came out from under the bridge and started to gyrate his hips, telling police to come and get him.  Police called for the police boat and the man was arrested after he started to incite the crowd by his drunken behavior. 

The man, who threatened to have his father get the officer who arrested him fired, later apologized for his actions, blaming the incident on too much Schnapps and vodka. 

Dancing Fool, The Longboat Observer, August 12, 2010, p. 10  (emphasis added).

Wikipedia ~ Tequila (in Public Domain)

Warning:  consumption of  alcoholic beverages (such as vodka, Schnapps, and beer) may encourage public dancing,  gyrations, and/or lewd displays in front of the police, leading to arrest. 

If you’re drinking in public illegally, wearing nothing but a thong, while taunting police officers by gyrating your hips, you’ve got to ask yourself one question:

Do you feel lucky, punk?   Well, do ya?

* * * * *

Thong, n. :  an article of clothing that tends to disprove the notion that LESS is MORE.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Fun With Words: Misfits September 5, 2010

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Word Play.
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More Fun with Words! 

Take two words from the English dictionary.  Splice them together into something new and completely different. 

Supply a snappy definition.

A few examples (culled from anonymous e-mails) to get you started: 

1.  Arachnaleptic Fit:  The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

2.  Frisbeetarianism:  The belief that, after death, the soul flies up  
 onto the roof and gets stuck there.

3.  Decaflon:  The grueling event of getting through the day without caffeine.

4.  Dopeler Effect:  The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

5.  Electrocity: Using energy for war crimes and other evil purposes.

6.  Giraffiti:  Vandalism spray-painted at great heights.

7.  Glibido:  All talk and no action.

8.  Photograft:  Using a fake ID to cash bad checks.

9.  Fleezing: Running for your life, in the cold.

10.  Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

Stay tuned!  More fun to come!

From Tooth Paste to . . . Butt Paste! September 5, 2010

Posted by nrhatch in Health & Wellness, Humor.
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In 13 Pieces of Potpourri, I mentioned my delight at having been born after the advent of toothpaste and butt wipes (a/k/a toilet paper).

Today, I learned of a new product for newborns . . . Boudreaux’s Butt Paste!

Must be a newfangled  hybrid between toothpaste and butt wipes (toilet paper).

Formulated with beeswax and other natural ingredients, Boudreaux’s Butt Paste protects your baby’s butt from diaper rash and other skin irritants:

People laugh at the name, but once they try it, they stop laughing, said Boudreaux, who served 12 years on the Louisiana Board of Pharmacy.

Boudreaux’s Butt Paste . . . available at fine retailers nationwide.