(Duck) Soup To Nuts

Lexophiles love words, especially a good play on words (or even a bad play on words).

Most of these puns came from e-mails I’ve saved over the years.  A few are of more recent vintage.  

Enjoys these last few puns, from (Duck) Soup To Nuts:

1.  Why did the calendar start crying?

The doctor said its days were numbered.

2.  What happens when a clock is hungry?

It goes back four seconds.

3.   Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

4.  What do you call a chicken crossing the road?

Poultry in motion.

5.  Why didn’t you make yourself an omelette?

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

6.  What happens when the smog lifts in Los Angeles?

U.C.L.A.

7.  Don’t you want to go shopping?

Nah, when you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.

8.  Two atoms collide.  The first asks, “Are you OK?” “No. I lost an electron!” “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m positive!”

9.  Why can’t a bicycle stand alone?

It’s two tired.

10.  What’s the difference between democracy and feudalism?

In a democracy, your vote counts.  In feudalism, your Count votes.

Oh, all right, one more:

11.  What happened when Minnie married?

            She got a new name and a dress.

To see Daffy Duck and Porky Pig:  Duck Soup To Nuts

For More Pun Fun, visit PUNS ~ A Play On Words