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That’s Gonna Leave A Mark August 26, 2010

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Word Play.
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Lexophiles love words, especially a good play on words (or even a bad play on words). 

Most of these puns came from e-mails I’ve saved over the years.  A few are of more recent vintage.  

All of them are gonna leave a mark:  

1.  Why did the dentist and manicurist divorce?

They kept fighting tooth and nail.

2.  What happened when the butcher backed into the meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his work.

3.  What happened to the guy whose left side was cut off? 

Oh, he’s all right now. 

4.  Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you . . .

A-flat miner.

5.  Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer . . .

The agony of de feet.

6.  How’s the guy who fell onto the upholstery machine? 

Oh, he’s fully recovered.

7.  I  wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. 

Then it hit me.

8.  What about the soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray?

He’s now a seasoned veteran.

Stay tuned. 

More Fun with Puns tomorrow.

Can’t wait?

Visit PUNS ~ A Play On Words

Comments»

1. theonlycin - August 26, 2010

*tweet*

2. Paula - August 26, 2010

Fun! “Show me a country with all pink automobiles, and I’ll show you a pink carnation.” – Soupy Sales (R.I.P.) And, from one lexophile to another (who sometimes disagree on the “lexi”), I present a recent Ode to Simplicity. Haven’t I posted this one before? Chalk my poor memory to creeping age – see my most recent blog post for clarification!

Ode to Simplicity
© Paula Tohline Calhoun 2010

I’ve heard it over and over again –
The bigger the word, the more the pain
To understand what one is reading!
But I’ll not heed such lazy pleading
To simplify the things I write –
No! I can’t give up the fight
To use the whole vocabulary
Comprising my own formulary
Of words I use for the edification
Of those who lack my sophistication!
Sound condescending or high-fallutin’?
My reply is “Yer darn tootin’!”
Though I’ve come at last to the conclusion
That precise expression is my delusion.
Still – I struggle every day
For exactly le mot juste to say.
(Therefore, when I’m in a pinch
I will resort to using French.)
But knowing the distance words can create
Twixt poet and reader, I know my fate:
Continue to complexify
and use those words that vexify
Or reduce all words to just one syllable
Like “cash is due” for “services billable.”
I see it now, my choice is clear:
For my readership will shrink, I fear,
If I continue on my path
And thus incur their scorn and wrath
Against my poetry, often complicated
With words long and unaltercated.
Were I to define, their minds would atrophy,
And explaining to them my lofty philosophy
Of language, most surely would perturb me,
Irritate, nettle, rag, disturb me.
But if the reader’s always right,
Then I must give up and cede this fight!
From this day on I’ll do my best
To satisfy my rhyming quest
By using words both short and easy –
Even when they make me queasy.
But, until I get the hang of it
You can expect me to harangue a bit!

Ah! The unashamed acts I will perform to increase my readership. . .

nrhatch - August 26, 2010

Shameless promotion! ; )

I’ve read this Ode, either on your blog or elsewhere (perhaps WEbook).

I just heard the Pink Carnation on Rik’s blog.

I love playing with words. Thanks, Paula

3. No Pun In Ten Did « Spirit Lights The Way - January 22, 2013

[…] Related posts:  All In A Day’s Work * Live Laugh and Learn * Virtual Reality * (Duck) Soup to Nuts * Crime Doesn’t Pay (Much) * That’s Gonna Leave A Mark […]

4. Now That’s Punny! | Spirit Lights The Way - January 18, 2014

[…] Laugh and Learn * Virtual Reality * (Duck) Soup to Nuts * Crime Doesn’t Pay (Much) * That’s Gonna Leave A Mark * Very […]


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