That’s Gonna Leave A Mark August 26, 2010
Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Word Play.trackback
Lexophiles love words, especially a good play on words (or even a bad play on words).
Most of these puns came from e-mails I’ve saved over the years. A few are of more recent vintage.
All of them are gonna leave a mark:
1. Why did the dentist and manicurist divorce?
They kept fighting tooth and nail.
2. What happened when the butcher backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
3. What happened to the guy whose left side was cut off?
Oh, he’s all right now.
4. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you . . .
A-flat miner.
5. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer . . .
The agony of de feet.
6. How’s the guy who fell onto the upholstery machine?
Oh, he’s fully recovered.
7. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
8. What about the soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray?
He’s now a seasoned veteran.
Stay tuned.
More Fun with Puns tomorrow.
Can’t wait?
Visit PUNS ~ A Play On Words
*tweet*
Fun! “Show me a country with all pink automobiles, and I’ll show you a pink carnation.” – Soupy Sales (R.I.P.) And, from one lexophile to another (who sometimes disagree on the “lexi”), I present a recent Ode to Simplicity. Haven’t I posted this one before? Chalk my poor memory to creeping age – see my most recent blog post for clarification!
Ode to Simplicity
© Paula Tohline Calhoun 2010
I’ve heard it over and over again –
The bigger the word, the more the pain
To understand what one is reading!
But I’ll not heed such lazy pleading
To simplify the things I write –
No! I can’t give up the fight
To use the whole vocabulary
Comprising my own formulary
Of words I use for the edification
Of those who lack my sophistication!
Sound condescending or high-fallutin’?
My reply is “Yer darn tootin’!”
Though I’ve come at last to the conclusion
That precise expression is my delusion.
Still – I struggle every day
For exactly le mot juste to say.
(Therefore, when I’m in a pinch
I will resort to using French.)
But knowing the distance words can create
Twixt poet and reader, I know my fate:
Continue to complexify
and use those words that vexify
Or reduce all words to just one syllable
Like “cash is due” for “services billable.”
I see it now, my choice is clear:
For my readership will shrink, I fear,
If I continue on my path
And thus incur their scorn and wrath
Against my poetry, often complicated
With words long and unaltercated.
Were I to define, their minds would atrophy,
And explaining to them my lofty philosophy
Of language, most surely would perturb me,
Irritate, nettle, rag, disturb me.
But if the reader’s always right,
Then I must give up and cede this fight!
From this day on I’ll do my best
To satisfy my rhyming quest
By using words both short and easy –
Even when they make me queasy.
But, until I get the hang of it
You can expect me to harangue a bit!
Ah! The unashamed acts I will perform to increase my readership. . .
Shameless promotion! ; )
I’ve read this Ode, either on your blog or elsewhere (perhaps WEbook).
I just heard the Pink Carnation on Rik’s blog.
I love playing with words. Thanks, Paula
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