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Seconds, Anyone? August 19, 2010

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Life Balance, People.
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Huey,-Dewey-And-LouieSecond fiddle.  Second best.

Our birth order may impact our development as we age.

First in line seems to get all the oohs and aahs ~ first steps and words are video-taped, and played for visitors.  And #1 is still marching into bold new territory when #2 arrives on the scene.

It’s not that #2 is ignored, but a blob of play-doh (even fresh out of the can with lovely enticing aromas) doesn’t hold our attention long when Speed Racer comes flying into the room.

If parents stop at two, the playing field for first and second borns equalizes eventually.  If parents add additional children to the mix . . . #2 tends to become increasingly invisible.

“Can you see me now?”

Related articles:  The Power of Birth Order * Effects of Birth Order on Personality * It’s My Life * Birth Order Affects Smarts, Personality * Birth Order and Personality

Take the Birth Order Predictor Quiz 

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Comments»

1. Richard W Scott - August 19, 2010

Speaking of seconds, one phrase that always made me smile (while not being perticularly germane to this) is:

SECOND place is just the first of the losers.

nrhatch - August 19, 2010

: )

2. Richard W Scott - August 19, 2010

Actually, when it comes to birth order, there is another, and much odder phenomenon. The first born in my family died very young.
When I came along, I was treated very carefully. The brother who followed me, third born, became second, and I became first, or eldest.

Never quite got over all that. )

nrhatch - August 19, 2010

“They” have a name for that, which escapes me at the moment.

Although maybe it’s more applicable whenever there is a significant age gap between children. I’ll check.

Sorry you never got to know your older sibling.

nrhatch - August 19, 2010

From Effects of Birth Order:

“Ghost” children occur when a child dies and then another child is born shortly afterwards. The newly born child never knew the deceased child, however he/she did take their place in some sense both for the parents and for their brothers and or sisters.

The new child could be a replacement, and take on the characteristics of the other child, as these characteristics are often pushed upon them by their family members.

3. cindy - August 19, 2010

Interesting comment from Rik.
When the second born happens in a second marriage and the first born has been taken (by the first wife) to another country … then things gets quite complicated and the second born feels guilty and jealous; because ‘Dad cries’ for the missing one.
Something I can never blog about here, because too many people read my blog.

From a story I am writing:

“It has always been like this. Everything I do, he compares to my half sister. I sometimes wish my mom and dad would get divorced, maybe he’d like me better if I was also far away; like she is.

I got first prize in the art competition last week. He said he was proud of me. Then he said I should brush up on my Maths, he said she had phoned to say she got a distinction in Maths. Mom said he should shut up and then they had a fight.

My stomach hurts again today. I’m so nervous about assembly, I have to play the piano in front of the whole school.”

nrhatch - August 19, 2010

Lovely story, based on some truths, no doubt.

It’s tough enough growing up without being compared to siblings (whether far away or near by).

4. Agatha82 - August 19, 2010

woo hoo I’m an only child lol 😉

nrhatch - August 19, 2010

That means that you have the BEST and the WORST qualities of all Birth Orders, right??? : )

5. FRIDAY FLASH 55: SECOND BEST « The only Cin - August 20, 2010

[…]  https://nrhatch.wordpress.com/2010/08/19/seconds-anyone/ […]

6. deepercolors - August 20, 2010

I grew up as the only child of older adoptive parents with whom I had nothing in common. And yet I wa never the favorite. My half-sister grew up in another home (our mother’s) and she- again an only child – was always the favorite. Too bad wi couldn’t have grown up together.

nrhatch - August 20, 2010

How sad. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone with whom I had nothing in common.

7. souldipper - August 20, 2010

Love this post, Nancy. Thank you.

After being the youngest of five, with both parents working, I have yet to completely shed the sense of not being heard. Could that be a tiny insight into my passion for writing?

A man recently said that, as a child, he was so desperate to please his parents by being clever, it was achieved at the expense of being kind. He said it’s taken great practice and courage, in adulthood, to know when to let brilliance be replaced by kindness.

Aren’t we a wonderfully complex mass of fragility?!

nrhatch - August 20, 2010

It is a miracle that any of us are able to function . . . by rights, we should ALL be a dysfunctional mess. : )


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