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S.P.A.M.??? August 1, 2010

Posted by nrhatch in Blogging, Humor, Mindfulness, People.

Last night, I heard from someone I hadn’t communicated with in a while.

Rather than sending me a private message (via FB or e-mail), she slapped a message on my FB wall:

“nancy, I would rather only recv messages that are personal in nature and directed toward me specifically. is it possible for you to take me off your “send to” list? thanks.”

Confused, I asked her what she meant  (since I hadn’t sent her any e-mails or posted anything to her FB wall in months).

Her response:

“all the various comments, etc. u post daily”

At that point, I realized she meant article links to Spirit Lights The Way which I post on FB throughout the day.  

I explained that she would have to fix that from her end by blocking my posts from her News Feed:

Anything that your friends post on their FB wall to update their status appears in your news feed.
You control what you see by clicking the hidden “hide” button next to objectionable updates. I use it to block Farmville, and other apps friends play. If you want, you can block your friends’ status updates the same way.  Just click “hide” and we’ll disappear from view.

I assumed that would solve the problem and returned to the task at hand.

Ten minutes later, she returned and posted a third message, front and center, on my FB wall:

“your postings are like spam to me. I guess I can just block them.”


At that point, I realized she wasn’t interested in solving the problem of too many links to Spirit Lights The Way appearing in her News Feed.  Instead, she wanted to:

* complain about the situation
* continue to play the victim, and
* criticize my posts in the process

Talk about S.P.A.M. . . . Some People Are Mean!    : )

So I did us both a favor and “unfriended” her on FB. 

Problem solved! 

I can continue posting links to articles on happiness on my FB wall for friends who appreciate them, and she can continue playing the victim of fate while carting around her wheelbarrow of woe.  

I wonder if she’ll miss posts like 5 Easy Ways To Make Yourself Miserable?


1. Loreen Lee - August 1, 2010

To be charitable, perhaps she never did understand how to block the messages, and was getting irritated or frustrated that she was making little progress. To my understanding that doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s mean. She’s just got a problem that she doesn’t know how to solve. That is what is making her miserable, not another person. I always believe in giving another person another chance, because I know from experience what can happen if you don’t get one. You can become ‘miserable’. But if ‘misery loves company’, perhaps that is the solution to the ‘problem’. Cheers.

nrhatch - August 1, 2010

Well, I did stop what I was doing to explain to her how to solve the problem. Isn’t that a form of charity? : )

Then, instead of following the simple protocol provided by FB to block unwanted News Feed, or asking me for further clarification, she came back and posted her rather “uncharitable characterization” on my wall.

Maybe she felt that HER problem should become MY problem? Or that ALL my other friends on FB needed to know about HER problem?

Either way, problem solved. : )

2. Barbara Gunn - August 1, 2010

Way to go Nancy!
I agree with Loreen that everyone deserves a second chance, but when that results in the person stabbing me in the back it’s bye bye!

nrhatch - August 1, 2010

Thanks, Barbara.

I agree. I took the time to try and help her and, in response, she “bit the hand feeding her.”

By deleting her as a FB Friend, I did her a favor ~ she will no longer be annoyed by my “SPAM” updates. : )

3. Loreen Lee - August 1, 2010

I may be stepping out of line here. But I have been taught that we can’t know another’s motivations. The interpretation that we give is our own choice. There is, even if remote, the possibility that she simply could not understand the procedure, and was frustrated, and ‘yes it is possible’, calling for help. I’ve not said enough. I’ve said more than enough. (To quote that singer mentioned on theonlycin.

nrhatch - August 1, 2010

I gave her the benefit of the doubt when I saw her first comment, even though I found it odd that she chose to post her complaint on my FB wall rather than sending a more private message.

I stopped what I was doing to help her diagnose the problem and took the time to provide her with a solution.

Even then, if she had come back and said, “I’m sorry. I can’t figure out how to block your posts,” I would have walked her through the steps again.

That, of course, is not what she did. : )

4. nancycurteman - August 1, 2010

You did the right thing when you “unfriended” your S.P.A.M. Since becoming une dame d’un certain age, I no longer waste my time on people who do not add joy to my life but rather try to introduce pain.

nrhatch - August 1, 2010

Thanks, Nancy

That’s the way I felt. I showed her messages to BFF (since he knows her) and he agreed that she was purposely trying to upset my apple cart ~ so I just unhitched her from my wagon.

5. GretchensPianos - August 1, 2010

Hi Nancy,

She won’t miss “5 Easy Ways…” ~ probably never read it. She’s already an expert… maybe she’d like to guest post for you! 😉

I have also “unfriended” as well as hidden people.

Also, today a college… um… “friend” sent very enthusiastic feedback about my new E-book. After 1/2 a page of that, she lit into a list of corrections!


Let’s write a song about apple carts and wagons.


6. nrhatch - August 1, 2010

Thanks, Gretchen! We should write a song about apple carts and wagons . . . with a lovely piano solo for you and cymbals for me. : )

Congratulations on your new E-book. I must have missed its launch. Sorry about that. Can I find it on Amazon, or somewhere else? I’d love to take a peak at it.

7. mizzezmellymel - August 1, 2010

Goodness, you are right…talk about spam! Why would she choose to plaster the complaints on your FB wall instead of inboxing them?

Good for you for taking her off your FB friends list. I’m sure she is looking for your posts right now, wondering why she’s not on your FB anymore!

nrhatch - August 1, 2010

Time will tell. : )

Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. I’m going to run around and take a peak at your blog.

mizzezmellymel - August 1, 2010

Thanks so much and be my guest!

8. cindy - August 2, 2010

Oh my, I’d also unfriend her.

9. Andalib - October 8, 2010

Talk about having a victim fetish…


nrhatch - October 8, 2010

You attract men in kilts. I attract the victims of life. 🙂

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