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“Stop Mocking Me!” July 21, 2010

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Mindfulness, People.

Ego seeks approval and fears rejection. 

When it doesn’t get the attention and validation it feels is its due, it sulks, or gets angry, or feels sorry for itself.  

Toxic, negative thoughts arise on auto-pilot whenever Ego gets upset at “the world.” 

Often, in the throes of yet another ridiculous tantrum, Ego taunts us to jump into the maelstrom to defend ourselves from the worthless and hateful opinions of the Broccoli Heads in our life. 

Sometimes, it encourages us to lash out and retaliate in kind.  Grrrrrr . . .

Other times, it urges us to storm off, taking our toys with us.  Screw you, guys.  I’m going home.

On occasion, it urges us to climb into bed, pull the sheets up, and cry ourselves to sleep.   Woe is me.   

If we want lasting happiness, we need to acknowledge the role that Ego plays in making us miserable due to its desire to be liked and admired, and/or its fear of being scorned and ridiculed.

As long as Ego is calling the shots, our happiness  remains dependent upon everyone but us. 

If someone approves of us, Ego purrs in contentment. 

But if Ego feels humiliated, even by the unsupported and unsubstantiated opinion of a Broccoli Head, watch out for storm clouds on the horizon.

If we want to reclaim our power, we must reject Ego’s external barometer.  

Instead of worrying about what others think of us, based on their extremely limited vantage point, we start to think for ourselves. 

We observe and monitor our thoughts, reining Ego in as necessary.  As we watch our thoughts, we quell Ego’s tantrums with ease merely by asking ourselves, “Will this thought bring me happiness?”

If we realize that Ego is getting upset about nothing, we calmly switch our focus to a more productive thought and move forward with our day, without getting sucked into another energy draining saga.

Quote:  One of the wonderful things about Buddhist wisdom is that you don’t have to believe in anything to progress on the path of awakened enlightenment. ~ Lama Surya Das


1. cindy - July 21, 2010

When I wrote a post about worrying about who I may or may not offend in my daily doings, blogger opoetoo left a perfect comment (I’m going to quote it here to save you having to hop over to see it, because it is very relevant to what you have written here):

Don`t want to discuss it
I think it`s time for a change
You may get disgusted
And think I`m strange
In that case I`ll go underground
Get some heavy rest
Never have to worry
About what is worst and what is best

There`s no need for argument
There`s no argument at all
And if you never hear from him
That just means he didn`t call
Or vice versa
That depends on where ever you`re at
Van Morrison – Domino
I love to read your blog.
I love to get comments from you but if
I don’t hear from you ,that just means you didn’t call and it
doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy reading what you write.

nrhatch - July 21, 2010

Perfect comment!

It’s our job as bloggers to toss our offerings out there without getting too worked up about who’s in our audience, or what everyone thinks about each and every piece we write.

If we write from the heart, our audience will appear.


2. Loreen Lee - July 21, 2010


One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.

“One is Evil – It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

“The other is God – It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

nrhatch - July 21, 2010

That’s one of the first posts I posted:


Only in all the versions I’ve seen, it says “the other is GOOD” (not GOD).

3. Loreen Lee - July 21, 2010

Notice in the above, that the Wisdom of the Cherokee is that he places ego with the vices, while the virtues are placed in a separate classification with God.
I have a sense of inferiority to deal with. What is your wolf?

nrhatch - July 21, 2010

The “wolf” I feed most often is the Spiritual light within (joy, happiness, peace, serenity, bliss, etc.) . . . in return, Spirit provides daily sustenance and guidance to me, while keeping my Ego at bay (so it doesn’t waste time howling at the moon and its shadows).

nrhatch - July 21, 2010

You might enjoy this quote by Ben:

“For even if I could conceive that I had completely overcome it, I should probably be proud of my humility.” ~ Benjamin Franklin

4. deepercolors - July 21, 2010

My Ego wallows in self-pity and fear of the future these days. But all the ‘watching your thoughts’ won’t change the fact that you can’t pay the bills any more.

nrhatch - July 21, 2010

True. But wallowing in self-pity doesn’t advance the ball either.

Just the opposite. It steals energy that could be used to calmly evaluate options ~ getting a roommate, moving in with someone else, writing articles as a freelance writer, getting a part time job, teaching music lessons, etc..

When we are frozen in fear or wallowing in self-pity, we may miss seeing the perfect opportunity if and when it comes knocking.

The movie Pursuit of Happyness (Will Smith) comes to mind, based on a true story. Single father, young son, homeless on the streets . . . but not helpless. They stayed in a shelter and ate at a mission until things turned around and started looking up for them. They refused to give in to fear. Maybe there are resources available to you that you haven’t fully explored?

5. This, That, & The Other Thing | Spirit Lights The Way - August 11, 2013

[…] posts:  “Stop Mocking Me!” * Toughen Up! *  We Can Choose NOT To Be Offended * Better Thoughts -> Better Results * […]

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