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How to Unmask Pretend Friends July 11, 2010

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Humor, Mindfulness, People.

Do you have any pretend friends?

You know the type . . . fake and phony kissee-kissee people who say one thing to your face while secretly dissing you behind your back.

Not sure?

Can you handle the truth?

Start by being yourself.

Be, say, and do exactly what you feel like doing starting . . . NOW!

Friends who accept you as you are, and applaud your efforts to “be real” are true friends.

Hang on to them.  Tightly.

Those who resent your growing freedom, who ridicule the changes you are making, or who attempt to dictate how you should act, are not true friends. 

They do not have your interests at heart. 

“Friends” who are unwilling to accept the “new and improved you,” who get angry at you for being who you’ve always wanted to be, are pretend friends ~ people who like you only as long as you subjugate your needs to accommodate their desires.

During the transition from old you to new and improved you,  pretend friends often allow their passive-aggressive masks to slip, just a bit, becoming openly aggressive . . . giving you a glimpse of who they really are. 

If you’re lucky, they will share what they really think of you!!!

At that point, you can smile and nod, “I see who you are behind that mask.”

If they realize their “slip is showing” and/or that “their mask is slipping,” they often point the finger at YOU! 

This is YOUR fault.  If you just did what I told you to do . . . NONE of this would be happening.

The more aggressive and hostile they become, the better you will feel about  leaving them behind as you continue your journey through life . . . picking up real friends along the way. 

* * * * *

No, no.  I’m not talking about anyone here.  None of my readers is a fake and phony, passive-aggressive twit.  

That’s why I love you.  Kissee-Kissee! 

Artwork by Maitte Van Arsdel ~ available at Island Gallery West.

Related posts:  Actors on the Stage of Life * Fly High, Freebird * Live Your Life * Free To Be . . . MeImpressionism & Abstract Expressionism


1. Richard W Scott - July 11, 2010

Nice twist. Well written.

nrhatch - July 11, 2010

Glad you enjoyed!

No matter how hard I try to be “real” . . . at times, it’s expedient to say, do, or be what someone else wants me to be. If only for a moment.

2. Agatha82 - July 11, 2010

I have dumped all the crazies I thought were my friends. For years, I was not even aware of how they weren’t true friends. When I look back now, I cannot believe I thought these people were my friends. Glad I saw the light and said bye bye…

Now I have great friends, true friends, people that truly matter and make a difference in my life. Quality NOT quantity…

nrhatch - July 11, 2010

I could not agree with you more. Once I opened my eyes, it was easy to see the truth.

Like you, I now have more time for real friends.

3. Carole Waller - July 11, 2010

If I’m not “ME” then I’m no one. This is on your FB page, and this is
what attracted me to your blog. So true, so true.

It took me 60 years to figure out who I am. After I did, then I could
accept others for what they are. If they go on pretending, I accept
that. If they drop me as a friend, so be it. Free to be me,
acceptance of others as they are becomes a welcome relief.

Once you reminded me of a song I have always loved — “If you want
to sing out, sing out. If you want to be free, be free. There’s a
million ways to be. You know that there are.” ~ Cat Stevens

Thank you!

nrhatch - July 11, 2010

Glad this resonated with you, Carole!

I feel the same way ~ it took me a long time to figure out who I am and to realize that I don’t need a permission slip from anyone else to live my life.

At this point, I am unwilling to pretend to be someone else just to keep from rocking the boat.

If people don’t like the freedom I’ve afforded myself . . . they are free to drift away. If they can’t accept me as I am, they are not intended to be in “my audience.”

I’ve loved Cat Stevens since I was 13 . . . but now the words to many of his songs have taken on new meanings.

Here’s to FREEDOM! : )

4. theonlycin - July 12, 2010

kiss kiss! mwah!!!

nrhatch - July 12, 2010

Right back atcha!!! : )

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