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Preferences, Predilections, & Propensities June 21, 2010

Posted by nrhatch in Gratitude, Life Balance, People.

This morning, a fellow blogger, received a Beautiful Blogger award ~ a well deserved recognition.

After thanking Scattered Rayn, Tsuchigari shared the spotlight by creating a list of 10 other bloggers (including me!) whose writing and support have inspired her ~ Thanks, Jo.

Tsuchigari created a second list to share 10 things about herself that those of us who met her in cyber space, the blog-o-sphere, did not know.

To see Jo’s post, visit Beautiful Blogger ~ Who Me?

As I read through her list, I noticed many similarities between us.  Most of the items on her list (from #2 through #8) overlapped with my preferences, predilections, personality traits, and propensities.

#3  We’re both frugal and dislike shopping.  Even before I grew concerned about over-consumption and its impact on the planet, I would never have been called a fashionista. 

Before heading to Marco Island for our 5th Wedding Anniversary (21 years ago), Bill insisted I go shopping for new “play clothes” because he had tired of the tattered and torn attire I wore when not dressed for court in power suits.

#4  We both love ethnic cuisine from Asia.  Jo mentioned Japanese, Thai, and Chinese ~ I would add India and its curries to the list.  Jo does sushi.  I do not ~ except rolls made of veggies and rice with no seafood in sight. 

#6  We enjoy  The Food Network and its culinary offerings.  Mmm . . .  food! 

#5  We dislike confrontation more than we dislike “spiders, heights, and public speaking.”  As an attorney, I mastered the art of public speaking, and never shied away from a confrontation . . . when acting on behalf of a client.  If I’m advocating for myself, confrontation poses more difficulty. 

I don’t enjoy dealing with angry people.  I don’t enjoy disappointing people.  Often it’s easier just to “go along and get along” . . . unless, of course, it isn’t.  

Aah, there’s the rub. 

When my interests and desires clash with the expectations of others, and the storm clouds of confrontation appear on the horizon, I want to hide under the bed until the thunder and lightning pass out of sight and sunny skies return.  Then I remember that I matter too.  So I take a deep breath, say what I have to say, and hope that any ruffled feathers relax in short order. 

Sometimes they do.  Sometimes they don’t.  Life goes on either way. 

#7  Jo and I prefer to focus on projects that we know we can master ~ we like things to turn out “perfect.”   When they don’t, I usually request a “do over” ~ which is why I prefer painting with words rather than with watercolors.   It’s much easier to edit and correct typos on a computer than it is to fix a painting “gone wrong.”  

My favorite paintings, however, are not the ones that flowed seamlessly together . . . they are the ones that I resurrected from the ashes.  The same is true in the kitchen ~ my satisfaction is highest when something has gone awry and I figure out how to bring it “back from the dead.” 

#8  We’re both happy when ensconced at home.  Jo said, “Like many writers, I’m a bit of a hermit.  I like the quiet and comfort of my home, and there is always tons to do here.”  I agree 110%. 

I’d rather watch The Food Network than travel around the world to sample its cuisine.  I’d rather read a book, than hang out in a bar.  I’d rather listen to a CD of my favorite music than attend a crowded concert.  I’d rather watch movies in the comfort of my living room than drive across town, stand in line, buy a ticket, and take a seat in a theatre surrounded by other movie goers who are chewing, chatting, and expelling other audible noises which detract from my enjoyment of the images on the screen. 

And now we return to #2 on Jo’s list:  “My personality is blue/white on the Hartman color code – meaning that I’m loyal and logical, but totally uncomfortable in the spotlight.”

First, I have to confess my ignorance ~ I’ve never heard of the Hartman color code . . . but Jo’s description of the blue/white personality type resonated with me and inspired this post. 

When forced into the spotlight, even a small one, like the beam of a dying flashlight whose batteries are struggling, I’m not comfortable.  Give me a gift, I want to reciprocate.  Pay me a compliment, I want to return it, unopened. 

But . . . on the stage of life, I have things I want to say.  I want to be heard.  I  want an audience listening as I share what I’ve learned.  

As a writer, I’m not only willing to step into the cyber spotlight on a daily basis, I’m willing to sing, dance, laugh, pirouette, and clown around . . . on center stage.

So shine the spotlight this way . . . and listen up, people.   

This is life we’re talking about.


1. Shannon - June 21, 2010

Yay! Congratulations 🙂

2. Paula - June 21, 2010

Shall I say Amen ! (again?) I’m starting to think that maybe since we all seem to have so much in common…(and I LOVE sushi, and if you knew sushi, like I know sushi, oh! oh! oh what a dish! – that really was unforgivable :-P), perhaps our commonalities are part of all writers’/artists’ traits? There might be a whole huge organization out there of non-shopping, home-loving, Asian food lovers, confrontation-hating, Food Network addicts out there! Sorry Nancy…you’ll be out though…because of the sushi thing! 😀 (Well, maybe there can be a sub-group!)

I have found to my surprise that I love sharing what I write, and opening myself up to honest opinions and comments. Far from being “hurt” by pans, I have found to my delight that I really enjoy hearing what others think, and if I don’t agree, I don’t agree…so what? But most often I do, and it spurs me on to better things! Confrontation is another story, however, and if anger is part of the comment directed toward me, I often just cry (to my embarrassment), but sometimes I will actually stand up for myself, though I always try to “speak the truth in love.”

nrhatch - June 21, 2010

You, you, you . . . Sushi Enthusiast, you! : )

Intellectual disagreements never bother me ~ the exchange of divergent viewpoints is interesting, invigorating, and energizing.

The confrontations that I abhor are ones where I am expected to do something that I don’t want to do in order to avoid hurt feelings ~ for example, fly across the country to attend a wedding or funeral.

Or when I have to stand up for my rights ~ for example by asking, for the 10th time, for a book to be returned to its rightful place on my shelf, or to ask, yet again, for someone to repay money they’ve borrowed.

I don’t like those types of confrontations and have to work up my courage to do the confronting.

And, yes, I expect that the similarity between Jodi’s list and mine is due to the nature of writers . . . except for the sushi thing.

Eating raw fish . . . that’s just wierd and likely to end in intestinal parasites invading your brains. : )

3. Paula - June 21, 2010

Remember: the similarities are also between Jodi and me…and after all – I’m the one that loves sushi! (Wait, I’ll be right back – I have to go have some parasites removed…) Anyway, I agree with you in re being the “confronter” when, as you say, the issues are important enough – and all the ones you mentioned certainly are! It is often hard for me to determine if I am doing something because I want to or need to, or merely to pacify someone else – which most times (not all) is not a good enough reason! I have learned over the last several years of coping with various physical challenges, to be more discriminating about what I do or say, if only to save myself future pain and/or resentment (my own or others’).

Oh…I promise, vow, and swear: you are not required to attend my funeral! (A substantial monetary gift in my memory will be just fine…) 😀

nrhatch - June 21, 2010

I didn’t forget . . . but I didn’t want to put words in your mouth, especially since it’s full of sushi. : )

If I’m going to resent saying yes, I give myself permission to say “no thanks” . . . which works great, unless I chicken out, which I still do, but only occasionally.

I don’t attend many funerals ~ I’d rather enjoy people when, like Jacques Brel, they’re alive and well and living in Paris.

4. Paula - June 21, 2010

I 😀 !

5. cindy - June 21, 2010

Congrats Nancy.
(Many similarities with me in your lists, both yours and Jo’s).

nrhatch - June 21, 2010

I expect that many writers prefer a greater degree of solitude and even hermitage than the masses.

We want to share our words . . . but preserve our privacy. A dichotomy that is not always easily attained.

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