Five Easy (Albeit Practically Useless) Tips

In writing, as in life, advice abounds. 

Hmm . . . which advice to follow?  

My advice:  As you consider tips tossed your way by well-meaning friends, relatives, and strangers . . .  tune in to your inner wisdom (the still silent voice within) before making the “final” decision. 

If you’re not ready to do that just yet, here are Five Easy (Albeit Practically Useless) Tips to stow away in your Life Toolbox:

1.  Avoid Unnecessary Detail about “Location, Location, Location”

When I read, one thing that bores me to tears is stumbling across long, detailed, poetic descriptions of a given character’s location when thinking or doing something . . . unless that level of detail is essential to the story. 

For example, if the main character stops into a coffee shop for a cup of coffee and the author spends sixteen paragraphs poetically describing the place and its occupants to me (when I’m never going to “see” them again), I’m going to get bored. 

If the author does it repeatedly, I am going to put the book aside.

Same goes for cocktail party chit-chat (unless you’re my real estate or travel agent . . . when “location, location, location” does matter).

Caveat:  Poets may find excessive (i.e., un-ending) spatial and character descriptions both elevating and uplifting.  So exercise caution when applying this tip.

2.  Share Tasty Tidbits about Food, Glorious Food 

I love reading and hearing about food ~ I don’t want characters sitting in restaurants ordering and eating unless I am told what they are eating, how it tastes, how it was prepared, and how it appears on the plate. 

(Unless it’s Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern when I would just as soon be left in the dark.) 

Likewise, if we’re on the phone, and you’re telling me about a restaurant you visited, I want to know what’s on the menu ~ not what’s on the waiter’s uniform (be it “bling” or spilled food). 

Caveat:  Someone who isn’t as in love with food as me might (possibly) be bored with the this degree of culinary detail.  So exercise caution when applying this tip.

3.  Avoid Discussing the Nuances of Wine

Wine is either Red, White, or Blush.  I don’t care one whit about the subtle nuances in tone and texture and bouquet.  If an author spends paragraph after paragraph telling me about the Merlot that’s just been decanted . . . I’m going to put the book down, and head for the bar. 

If I’m at a cocktail party, the same rule applies ~ if  you start yakking about your favorite Australian Cabernet, I’m going to leave you High and Dry . . . for a High Ball or a Dry Martini. 

Caveat:  A wine aficionado would probably love to hear every drop of juicy gossip about a specific vintage.  So exercise caution when applying this tip.

4.  Gloss over Generalities and Give Fact-Specific Examples

When discussing Law, Philosophy, History, Politics, or Psychology, gloss over general theories and start pontificating in detail about specific (factually based) arguments as quickly as possible.

Caveat:  Some people may have difficulty following your line of reasoning without additional background explanation.  So exercise caution when applying this tip.  

5.  Explain Generalities Ad Nauseum and Avoid Specific Issues

When discussing Law, Philosophy, History, Politics or Psychology, explain the general theories in excruciating detail, and avoid getting into specific, factually dependent arguments.

Caveat: Some audience members may be bored with such a broad-brushed approach to these even broader topics.  So exercise caution when applying this tip.

* * * * *  

No matter what we say or do in life, someone in the “audience” is going to be on a different wave length.   Count on it.  Plan for it.

When we use our inner wisdom (instead of rules laid down by others) to govern our conduct, we avoid getting tripped up by the lesser known, but corresponding, “exceptions to those rules.”

Once we decide to be ourselves, we no longer worry about the occasional faux pas. 

As our confidence grows, we become more willing:

* to share our truth with the world.
* to say what we mean and mean what we say.
* to be who we’ve always wanted to be.

And, one day, when our intended audience appears . . . {{wild applause}}.

Quote:  Make each day your masterpiece.  ~ John Wooden

Related posts: Our Field Of Dreams * Our Internal Compass * Give Your Reader The Gift of Vision (Uphill Writing)