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Five Easy (Albeit Practically Useless) Tips May 20, 2010

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Life Balance, Writing & Writers.
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In writing, as in life, advice abounds. 

Hmm . . . which advice to follow?  

My advice:  As you consider tips tossed your way by well-meaning friends, relatives, and strangers . . .  tune in to your inner wisdom (the still silent voice within) before making the “final” decision. 

If you’re not ready to do that just yet, here are Five Easy (Albeit Practically Useless) Tips to stow away in your Life Toolbox:

1.  Avoid Unnecessary Detail about “Location, Location, Location”

When I read, one thing that bores me to tears is stumbling across long, detailed, poetic descriptions of a given character’s location when thinking or doing something . . . unless that level of detail is essential to the story. 

For example, if the main character stops into a coffee shop for a cup of coffee and the author spends sixteen paragraphs poetically describing the place and its occupants to me (when I’m never going to “see” them again), I’m going to get bored. 

If the author does it repeatedly, I am going to put the book aside.

Same goes for cocktail party chit-chat (unless you’re my real estate or travel agent . . . when “location, location, location” does matter).

Caveat:  Poets may find excessive (i.e., un-ending) spatial and character descriptions both elevating and uplifting.  So exercise caution when applying this tip.

2.  Share Tasty Tidbits about Food, Glorious Food 

I love reading and hearing about food ~ I don’t want characters sitting in restaurants ordering and eating unless I am told what they are eating, how it tastes, how it was prepared, and how it appears on the plate. 

(Unless it’s Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern when I would just as soon be left in the dark.) 

Likewise, if we’re on the phone, and you’re telling me about a restaurant you visited, I want to know what’s on the menu ~ not what’s on the waiter’s uniform (be it “bling” or spilled food). 

Caveat:  Someone who isn’t as in love with food as me might (possibly) be bored with the this degree of culinary detail.  So exercise caution when applying this tip.

3.  Avoid Discussing the Nuances of Wine

Wine is either Red, White, or Blush.  I don’t care one whit about the subtle nuances in tone and texture and bouquet.  If an author spends paragraph after paragraph telling me about the Merlot that’s just been decanted . . . I’m going to put the book down, and head for the bar. 

If I’m at a cocktail party, the same rule applies ~ if  you start yakking about your favorite Australian Cabernet, I’m going to leave you High and Dry . . . for a High Ball or a Dry Martini. 

Caveat:  A wine aficionado would probably love to hear every drop of juicy gossip about a specific vintage.  So exercise caution when applying this tip.

4.  Gloss over Generalities and Give Fact-Specific Examples

When discussing Law, Philosophy, History, Politics, or Psychology, gloss over general theories and start pontificating in detail about specific (factually based) arguments as quickly as possible.

Caveat:  Some people may have difficulty following your line of reasoning without additional background explanation.  So exercise caution when applying this tip.  

5.  Explain Generalities Ad Nauseum and Avoid Specific Issues

When discussing Law, Philosophy, History, Politics or Psychology, explain the general theories in excruciating detail, and avoid getting into specific, factually dependent arguments.

Caveat: Some audience members may be bored with such a broad-brushed approach to these even broader topics.  So exercise caution when applying this tip.

* * * * *  

No matter what we say or do in life, someone in the “audience” is going to be on a different wave length.   Count on it.  Plan for it.

When we use our inner wisdom (instead of rules laid down by others) to govern our conduct, we avoid getting tripped up by the lesser known, but corresponding, “exceptions to those rules.”

Once we decide to be ourselves, we no longer worry about the occasional faux pas

As our confidence grows, we become more willing:

* to share our truth with the world.
* to say what we mean and mean what we say.
* to be who we’ve always wanted to be.

And, one day, when our intended audience appears . . . {{wild applause}}.

Quote:  Make each day your masterpiece.  ~ John Wooden

Related posts: Our Field Of Dreams * Our Internal Compass * Give Your Reader The Gift of Vision (Uphill Writing)

Daisies –> Day’s Ease May 20, 2010

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Humor, Life Balance, Nature.
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Just hooked up with a friend from High School on Facebook.  She had the results of the “Which Flower Are You?” Quiz posted on her profile page.

The Quiz identified her as a Daisy.

Ooh . . . I’ve always been a fan of Daisies and Daisy-like flowers.

Once in college, my best friend Lorel and I went to a loud and crowded bar (well, actually, we went more than once).

We introduced ourselves to a guy as “Lorel and Nancy.”  The guy heard, “Delores and . . . Daisy.” We didn’t bother to correct him.

From that point on, my nickname in college:  Daisy

My bridal bouquet:  White and Yellow Daisies

My favorite watercolor (painted by me):  Yellow Daisies (Black Eyed Susans) on a blue wash (above).

The last original watercolor we purchased:

Daisies III by Midge Pippel (a trio of White Daisies on a Purple Wash)

My flowers of choice for Anniversaries:

White and Yellow Daisies.

So, when I saw the “Which Flower Are You?” Quiz had identified Cindy as a Daisy, I had to see how the Quiz described Daisies:

You are carefree and light.  Whimsical and spontaneous.  A total optimist, you always try to see the positive side of things. 

You are artistic and imaginative . . . you float through life with a smile.

I can live with that!

Stop Yer Belly-Aching! May 20, 2010

Posted by nrhatch in Gratitude, Happiness, Humor, Life Balance, Mindfulness.
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How often do we get so tangled up in the “negatives” that we forget to look around for the positives?

Too often.

To get you back on track, check this out:

To learn more:  Visit Nick Vujicic At Attitude is Altitude

Related post:  Blogging into Perspective (Cities of the Mind)

Get Real! May 20, 2010

Posted by nrhatch in Exercise & Fitness, Happiness, Humor, People.
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In Pursue Your Purpose with Passion, we explored the World of Comedy.

Now, it’s time to Get Real!

* * * * *

Reality Shows have taken off in a big way since the début of Survivor ten years ago.  So, take your pick:

* If you can sing, or at least carry a tune, think American Idol or America’s Got Talent. 

* If you’ve got smooth moves, consider So You Think You Can Dance.

* If you are a budding businesswoman, maybe you can cozy up to The Donald on The Apprentice ~ at least until he says, “You’re Fired!”

No special talents.  Don’t worry.  You still have options:

* If you like the idea of hanging around the house all day, something you may already be adept at, Big Brother might be the show for you.

* If you are out of shape, overweight, and have not exercised a day in your life, consider The Biggest Loser ~ where you’ll get personal fitness tips from Bob or Jillian.

* And, for those of you who don’t like shopping for clothes, consider the show, How to Look Good Naked. 

Once you’ve selected a show, put down the remote (don’t worry, guys, you can have it back), log onto the Internet, find the show’s website, review the contestant requirements, and fill out the requisite “paperwork” to get a coveted spot on the show.   Then, sit back, open a beer, reclaim the remote, and relax.  That’s all there is to it!


Of course not.  Don’t be gullible (at least not until you are forming alliances on some deserted island).

After letting the show know of your interest, and your unique talents, skills, and abilities, you need to audition.  Just like in a job interview, you’ve got to strut your stuff.

Before the audition, do several trial runs in front of friends, families, and a few people who intensely dislike you.

That’s right.  You need people who are going to be honest with you.  Do not be one of those “No Talents” who bursts into tears on TV when one of the judges asks the inevitable question, “What the Hell was that?”

During the audition, or job interview, offer just enough information to make them want you, and then stop.

Once selected, remember that millions of viewers are watching you!  Do not become the next Richard Hatch (who is absolutely, positively, no relation).

On Survivor: Borneo, Richard volunteered way more info than viewers needed about his gender classification.  Sure, he was on a remote island, but so were cameras!  And parading around naked in front of cameras was not his only problem.

After winning his million dollars, he failed to pay taxes on his winnings.

Can you say “tax evasion”?  

If you win a million bucks on TV, or make it big on Wall Street, remember to toss the friendly folks at the IRS a few dollars before spending the rest.

In addition to being cognizant of the cameras, prepare for the potential let down of being voted off the show ~ odds are not in your favor.  In the meantime, however, envision success, your name in lights, and the ultimate in bragging rights once you head back home!

Of course, if you win $1,000,000, maybe you won’t head back home!

To be continued in Surfing Safari.

Related Posts:   Why Are Reality TV Shows Popular? (WP Prompt) * Live Your Life * Discovering Right Livelihood