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Ten (or Twenty) People I’d Rather Avoid May 8, 2010

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Mindfulness, People.
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Greedy Gus & Dishonest Darla ~ Anyone who is willing to lie, cheat, steal, or exploit others in order to make a fast buck, including Investment Bankers, the Waltons (of Walmart fame), televangelists, the CEOs of  Exxon-Mobil (and other big businesses), many career politicians, and anyone else who values the almighty dollar above the long-term welfare of the world and its inhabitants.

Harriet the Hypocrite & Larry the Liar ~ People who are fake and phony, and wear masks to hide themselves from scrutiny, including those who say one thing while doing another.  People who are more focused on appearances, than on actual substance.  Those who would rather look good, than do good or be good.  Just remember, you can fool some of the people, some of the time . . . but you’ll never fool the “man in the mirror.”     

Vic the Prick & Warmonger Wanda ~ People who resort to violence as a means of settling disputes, or satisfying their own selfish needs, wants and whims, rather than communicating in an honest effort to explore Win-Win scenarios.  Anyone who advocates the offensive (rather than defensive) use of weapons at a global level in order to get a bigger piece of “the pie.”

Belinda the Bully & Bob the Batterer ~ Anyone who abuses animals, children, spouses, or the elderly in order to prove to themselves (or others) that “might makes right,” or for any other reason stemming from ego-gratification or profit motive.  Enough said.

Judgmental Joe & Prejudiced Paula ~ People who judge others as inferior or lacking by applying outdated stereo-typical labels and classifications, rather than taking the time to get to know the character of the individual in question.  We are not the labels we wear.

Harriet the Hog & Piggy Pete ~ Anyone who refuses to reduce, reuse and recycle out of sheer laziness, apathy, or elitism, including people who live in McMansions, own multiple homes, fly around on private jets, or drive gas-guzzling automobiles in an effort to demonstrate their “worth” to the world, or out of a misguided sense of entitlement to consume  unnecessary resources . . . just because they have the financial means to do so.

Enough already.  We get it.  You’re rich.  Just remember that your financial net worth has nothing to do with your moral worth to the world.

Frank the Follower  & Carly the Conformist ~ People who play “follow the leader,” rather than thinking for themselves, especially those who constantly urge everyone else to “get in line.”  Before arrogantly spouting off accepted dogma, consider having an actual conversation with your intended audience.

Self-centered Stella & Willy the Whiner ~ Anyone who whines about trivia and minor annoyances, like getting cut off in traffic or experiencing a slight delay in a restaurant, without counter-balancing their petty concerns with a look at issues of actual import like global warming, world hunger, natural disasters, and issues of social justice.

Victor the Victim and Helpless Hannah ~ People who spend time bemoaning their fate, and blaming others for their failure to get what they want out of life, rather than being pro-active.  Those who are prisoners of their past, rather than architects of their future.

Boastful Betty & Bob the Braggart ~ Anyone who attempts to increase their worth in the eyes of others by constantly ticking off past accomplishments, rather than focusing their time and talents on demonstrating their current skills and abilities.  As MJ Heiser (a wise writer) said recently, “confidence is sexy, arrogance is not.”

So, who DO I enjoy being around?

Tiggers!  I like Tiggers!

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. ~ Dr. Seuss

Aah . . . that’s better!

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Comments»

1. Loreen Lee - May 8, 2010

This was an absolutely brilliant article. Bravo.
Did you forget Gossip Gerta? I recently read that gossip is fine, as long as one does not get ‘personal’ satisfaction or should I say ego gain from it. After all, we need to know when a friend becomes ill. The victim is a designation that my daughter as in the past placed on me. But it may not be correct, in that it was a struggle ‘long ago’.
The defensive-offensive dichotomy can be a little difficult as well, I feel.
For defensive, or reactive behavior can often be as aggressive as the offensive initiatory action.
In any case, I don’t think that ‘any’ of the above, should be condemned for their short-comings. Mankind/womankind is indeed so ‘vulnerable’, there is so much needed before any of us can believe that we are fully ‘redeemed’. (May I use the Christian terminology here, trusting you will get the idea, and offer an alternative if you feel it is necessary)

2. nrhatch - May 8, 2010

I’m not convinced that this article is brilliant.

In fact, I find it rather “judgmental” ~ but since I’m judging in the abstract, rather than the particular (except for #1), I’m giving myself some latitude.

I agree with you that “most” of us do the best we can (given our experiences in life), and that we deserve compassion, not condemnation, for our shortcomings.

Nevertheless, I’ll leave the “redemption” of these folks to others.

I may need to “accept the what is” . . . but I don’t have to place myself in the path of vexatious spirits.

3. Loreen Lee - May 8, 2010

Judgmental attitudes are always, I believe, of the particular. I did not feel you were facing the ‘issue’ at that level. That’s why I said it was brilliant!
Isn’t interpretation, and understanding a difficult and complex endeavor?

nrhatch - May 8, 2010

Yes! When we know what we mean, we assume that others will understand what we are saying without detailed explanations.

Often our assumption in that regard is incorrect. : )

When we describe a group of people using a given “label,” the label will not necessarily fit everyone in the group ~ for example, all CEO’s are not necessarily greedy, and some members of the Walton family may be focused on the long-term welfare of the world (even if I have not seen direct evidence to support that care and concern).

Loreen Lee - May 8, 2010

If it’s any consolation, we can only know what we know. But sometimes we assume we know more than that!! grin grin.

4. nrhatch - May 8, 2010

In the words of Paul Simon, I know What I Know:

I know what I know
I’ll sing what I said
We come and we go
That’s a thing that I keep
In the back of my head

Loreen Lee - May 8, 2010

This is beautiful. Says it all. We come and we go…..It’s support as well as consolation. Cause we just can’t be omniscent!!! grin grin.

5. Joanne - May 8, 2010

Nancy, you must be enjoying extremely good health… I love the way you vent… No ego feeding intended here… just stating appreciation for your voice and the healthy and inspiRATIONAL way you express yourself {;~D

BTW, like you, I have had issues with all of the above — even though I myself may have been misperceived by others who don’t know me –for being guilty of some of the above … Like you imply, if we care to avoid judging others, we certainly need to get to know the individual and the motives behind every action.

My objective is to express love to rich and poor alike…. the rich being those who do not need much to be happy… and the poor — you guessed it… Those who no mattter how much they possess, they still feel the need for more… They have my pity more than my disgust…

6. nrhatch - May 8, 2010

People misperceive others all the time.

How could they not?

(1) They only see “snapshots” of our lives . . . not the totality of who we really are.

(2) They are superimposing THEIR view of the world to interpret OUR actions.

As we go through our days, we form impressions about those we meet. That’s only natural ~ even if we KNOW that our impression is only part of the picture.

The key, I think, is being willing to re-evaluate those impressions as new evidence presents itself.


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