jump to navigation

Fun With Words ~ Ever Wonder Why . . . May 2, 2010

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Word Play.
trackback

Donald-Duck-DrivingWe leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our  useless junk in the garage.

Drive-up ATM machines have Braille  lettering.
We never see the headline “Psychic Wins  Lottery.”
“Abbreviated” is such a long word.

A house can burn up as it burns down.
We fill in a form by filling it out.
The sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin.

We make bottled lemon juice with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid with real lemons.

Banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the  counters.
People recite at a play and play at a recital.
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
Drive on a parkway and park on a driveway.
We ship by truck and send cargo by ship.

People order a Double Whopper, Biggie Fries, and a Diet Coke.
Quicksand works so slowly.
Boxing rings are square.
We call the time of day with the slowest traffic “rush  hour.”

A slim chance and a fat chance are the same thing, but a wise man and a wise guy are opposites.

Drugstores make the sick walk to the back of the store to  get prescriptions filled while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Noah didn’t swat those two mosquitoes.
They sterilize the needle for lethal injections.

We don’t make planes out of the stuff they use to make the  indestructible black box.

Apartments are all stuck together.
Sheep don’t shrink when it rains.
An alarm goes off by going on.

Doctors and lawyers charge so much when they’re just “practicing.”
We call our investment advisor a “broker.”
We called it Con-gress, and not Pro-gress.

Inspiration: two e-mails from unknown authors.

Related Posts:  Foxes With Sockses *  An Awesome Terrific Awful Terrible Day * Dissever

Advertisements

Comments»

1. Richard W Scott - May 2, 2010

Ah, yes. I’ve followed this list for years. Most of it is attributed to a single comedian, unfortunately, however, I can’t recall his name just now.

2. nrhatch - May 2, 2010

Comedians pay attention to life. When they bring our idioscyncrocies to the forefront of our minds . . . we laugh. : )

Actually, this post is from a couple of lists that I tossed together.

One on the absurdities of the English language and one called, “Only in America.” I revised them to allow them to meld a bit better.


What Say YOU?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: