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Divine Inspiration April 8, 2010

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, People.

170px-Chartres2006_076Since moving here, we have been strongly encouraged to join a local church ~ usually by someone we’ve just met.

Within minutes of meeting us, a new acquaintance (often no more than a stranger on the street) will launch into a recruiting spiel designed to get our bodies into church on Sunday mornings:

“Oh, you’re new!  Have you joined a church yet?”

Shaking my head side to side to discourage this line of questioning, I reply with a simple, “No.”

Notice that my rather definitive statement stands alone ~ it does not include any follow-up questions or comments designed to signal that I am interested in pursuing a discussion on the subject of religion.

Ignoring my perfunctory reply, and without asking anything further about our religious and spiritual backgrounds, these church enthusiasts move forward with their sidewalk evangelism:

“You would absolutely love our church!”

OMG!  Really?  How did you reach that conclusion so quickly ~ divine intervention?  You know absolutely NOTHING about us.  You have asked us nothing, nada, zilch about our current beliefs on religion.  For all you know, we would be decidedly uncomfortable around your congregation.

Ignoring my raised eyebrows, and urged on by what they, at least, believe to be divine inspiration, they proceed in their well-meaning, albeit misguided, efforts to seal the deal:

Why don’t you join us this Sunday!”

Struck by the feeling of déjà vu, having had this exact same conversation no less than a dozen times in my adult life, I can no longer resist the temptation to share my own divine inspiration:

“No, thank you.  We’re heathens.”

Aah . . . that’s better!


1. Patti Aker - April 8, 2010

I absolutely love this article of yours. Thank you for posting it. I am reposting it. I plan on reposting it in the future too!

2. nrhatch - April 8, 2010

Thanks, Patti!

Glad you enjoyed it. If you repost it, please include a link back to the original article here on Spirit Lights The Way.

3. Joanne - April 8, 2010

Ditto, ditto, and ditto to all of the above…

I confess that I USED to be there and since having a few of my own major paradigm shifts, I’ve had much more fun in the way of these presumptuous “encounters” than one can imagine…

I go from replies like this: “Going to church is against my religion…” to
“Don’t take this personal, but I’m an equal opportunity heathen… I’ve turned down everyone else’s church invitation on every corner of this street…”

And for the obnoxiously judgmental “evangelist,” I might throw this in just for fun… “…all the way down to my home in HELL…! Now, don’t make me call my daddy…!”

4. nrhatch - April 8, 2010

Love it!

I’m borrowing: “Going to church is against my religion.” In fact, I just might need to post that as my next FB status. : )

Ranks right up there with “I’m giving up Catholicism for Lent.”

Joanne, have I told you today that you’re my favorite??? : )

5. breaaire - April 8, 2010

You know, I’ve had that happen as well… had a customer ask if “that was a Star of David” on my chest. I said “No”, and left it at that.

Older gentleman said “Oh, ok.” and walked out. He really wasn’t looking for enlightenment, just wanted to make small talk.

6. nrhatch - April 8, 2010

Small talk is great ~ we connect, we learn, we grow, and we expand our horizons when we share with one another.

So, time permitting, if someone asked me, “Would you like to hear about my church?” ~ I’d invite them share their thoughts with me.

But as soon as a stranger starts substituting their judgment for mine . . . by saying “You’d love X, Y, or Z” ~ I’ve had enough “small talk” for one day. : )

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