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And He Licked The Plate Clean April 3, 2010

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Life Balance, Nature, Sustainable Living.
4 comments

Xmas-CatThis past Holiday Season, Hallmark created a new product line.

No longer content to sell personalized greeting cards and ornaments, Hallmark entered the arena of personalized party plates.

Yup, you heard me right.

Instead of ordering greeting cards with your picture on them, for your friends to proudly display on their mantels, or hang from their chandeliers, you can now order paper plates for your parties and celebrations, in various festive designs, personalized with your smiling face or the smiling faces of your loved ones . . . for people to cover with turkey, stuffing and gravy!

Gives the phrase, and he licked the plate clean, strange and horrifying new connotations, doesn’t it???

Imagine wondering whether your boss loves the food . . . or just likes licking your face.

To take the opposite scenario, imagine sitting around the table wondering whether your guests are truly full . . . or purposely leaving piles of mashed taters and cranberry sauce on their plates because they don’t want your cheerful countenance staring up at them until the table is cleared.

And that brings us to the next point ~ as a host, would you be offended if your sister-in-law jumped up as soon as dinner was over, and kindly offered to help you clear the table . . . by rapidly and enthusiastically tossing your photographed image into the trash and stepping on it to make room for more?

Intrigued by the possibilities?

A pack of ten 9″ dinner plates will ~ only ~ set you back $10.  Putting aside, for a moment, the question of why anyone would want people eating off their faces . . . why would anyone want to spend $10 for ten paper plates that will be tossed into the trash at the end of the party?

After all, who’s going to take a plate that’s been smeared with spaghetti sauce home to use as a decorative accessory?

Who’s going to wash off a used paper plate and keep it forever in their Hope Chest with their keep sake ornaments?

No one.  That’s who.

Aah . . . that’s better!