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Simple Math? Do The Math ~ Contest #3 March 31, 2010

Posted by nrhatch in Humor.
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The April Fool’s Day Contest continues!   Post your best guess below.

* * * * * 

I received a mass e-mail last year that I just have to share, in honor of April Fools everywhere.   In pertinent part, it said:

I’m against the $85,000,000,000 bailout of AIG.    Instead, I’m in favor of giving $85 Billion to the American people.  My plan:  give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a “We Deserve It” Dividend.

To make the math simple, let’s assume there are 200,000,000 bona fide U.S. Citizens 18+.  (Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman and child.  So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up.) 

Divide 200 million adults into $85 billion and that equals $425,000.00 per person.

Of course, it would NOT be tax-free.  Let’s assume a tax rate of 30%. 

Every person 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes.  That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam. 
 
But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket.  A husband and wife team has $595,000.00. 
 
What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family?
 
Pay off your mortgage ~ housing crisis solved. * Repay college loans ~ what a great boost to new grads *  Put away money for college ~ it’ll be there * Save in a bank ~ create money to loan to entrepreneurs. * Buy a new car ~ create jobs * Invest in the market ~ capital drives growth * Pay for your parent’s medical insurance ~ health care improves  

If we’re going to do an $85 billion bailout, let’s bail out every adult US Citizen 18+!  

Sure it’s a crazy idea that can “never work.”  But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party!  How do you spell Economic Boom?  I trust my fellow adult Americans to use the $85 Billion “We Deserve It” Dividend more wisely than the geniuses at AIG or in Washington DC.

Ahhh . . . I feel so much better getting that off my chest.
 
Kindest personal regards, Krib (
T. J. Kribenmeier, A Creative Guy & Citizen of the Republic)
 
PS:  Feel free to pass this along to your pals as it’s either good for a
laugh or a very sobering thought on how to best use $85 Billion!!

 Wow!  Wow!  Wow!

Krib needs to recheck his math before sending out mass math e-mails like this!

 OK, let’s really make the math simple:

* $85,000,000,000 divided by 200,000,000 is the same as dividing $850 by 2 (just cancel out 8 zeroes). 

* In other words, this plan would result in $425 for every adult 18 and up, not $425,000! 

 Perhaps Krib, the mathematically challenged citizen above, should use HIS $425 to hire a math tutor!

* * * * *

OK, guys . . .

Fact or Fiction . . . the absolute Truth or a Tall Tale for April Fool’s Day?

Post your best guess in the Comment Box below and stay tuned for the next installment in our April Fool’s Day Contest.

Comments»

1. Joanne - March 31, 2010

I say FACT… I’ve been working in education for quite a while… It’s not a comforting thought to discover how much our standards have dropped in order to accomodate the STUPID genes.

2. Ben - March 31, 2010

This did happen – in 2008, I believe.

3. kent chapman - April 1, 2010

O.K.! LISTEN UP!! IF YOUR NAME IS T.J. KRIBENMEIER.
OUT OF THE GENE POOL!! l.o.l.

TRUE

4. nrhatch - April 2, 2010

TRUE! (Although I did change the guy’s last name).


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