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Simple Math? Do The Math ~ Contest #3 March 31, 2010

Posted by nrhatch in Humor.
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The April Fool’s Day Contest continues!   Post your best guess below.

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I received a mass e-mail last year that I just have to share, in honor of April Fools everywhere.   In pertinent part, it said:

I’m against the $85,000,000,000 bailout of AIG.    Instead, I’m in favor of giving $85 Billion to the American people.  My plan:  give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a “We Deserve It” Dividend.

To make the math simple, let’s assume there are 200,000,000 bona fide U.S. Citizens 18+.  (Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman and child.  So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up.) 

Divide 200 million adults into $85 billion and that equals $425,000.00 per person.

Of course, it would NOT be tax-free.  Let’s assume a tax rate of 30%. 

Every person 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes.  That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam. 
But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket.  A husband and wife team has $595,000.00. 
What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family?
Pay off your mortgage ~ housing crisis solved. * Repay college loans ~ what a great boost to new grads *  Put away money for college ~ it’ll be there * Save in a bank ~ create money to loan to entrepreneurs. * Buy a new car ~ create jobs * Invest in the market ~ capital drives growth * Pay for your parent’s medical insurance ~ health care improves  

If we’re going to do an $85 billion bailout, let’s bail out every adult US Citizen 18+!  

Sure it’s a crazy idea that can “never work.”  But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party!  How do you spell Economic Boom?  I trust my fellow adult Americans to use the $85 Billion “We Deserve It” Dividend more wisely than the geniuses at AIG or in Washington DC.

Ahhh . . . I feel so much better getting that off my chest.
Kindest personal regards, Krib (
T. J. Kribenmeier, A Creative Guy & Citizen of the Republic)
PS:  Feel free to pass this along to your pals as it’s either good for a
laugh or a very sobering thought on how to best use $85 Billion!!

 Wow!  Wow!  Wow!

Krib needs to recheck his math before sending out mass math e-mails like this!

 OK, let’s really make the math simple:

* $85,000,000,000 divided by 200,000,000 is the same as dividing $850 by 2 (just cancel out 8 zeroes). 

* In other words, this plan would result in $425 for every adult 18 and up, not $425,000! 

 Perhaps Krib, the mathematically challenged citizen above, should use HIS $425 to hire a math tutor!

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OK, guys . . .

Fact or Fiction . . . the absolute Truth or a Tall Tale for April Fool’s Day?

Post your best guess in the Comment Box below and stay tuned for the next installment in our April Fool’s Day Contest.