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Marshmallows and Wieners ~ Contest #6 March 29, 2010

Posted by nrhatch in Humor.
7 comments

The April Fool’s Day Contest continues!   Post your best guess below.

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During the Spring, Summer and Autumn months, a semi-retired artist and writer runs a federally owned campground with her husband.   

The price for a slice of paradise at her pristine and well-run campground? 

An economical $21 a night, complete with wind stirring the pine boughs to gently lull campers to sleep.

In stark contrast to the bargain basement prices at federal campgrounds, I stumbled across an article recently about . . . glamping.  

What is glamping

In addition to being a decidedly unpleasant sounding word, glamping is a contraction for glamorous camping ~ deluxe camping accommodations for the rich and famous who want to get back to nature without leaving creature comforts behind. 

At a resort in Montana’s Big Sky country, which we will call Grubby Paws, elite campers pay $595 per night to rough it by sleeping in cabins with a few extra perks thrown in.  

What kind of perks? 

Well, at the Grubby Paws Resort, the $595 cabin comes with a butler! 

Yup!  You heard me right ~ Grubby Paws Resort provides its glampers with a butler so they don’t have to get their grubby paws dirty.

But, wait . . . there’s more!

If you reserve today, they’ll also throw in a maid!

No, not like Maid Marion (of Robin Hood fame) . . . think Hazel (of TV fame). 

The butler builds the campfire and the maid turns down the heated down comforters on the glamping cots ~ thus allowing glampers to spend more time in the great outdoors roasting marshmallows and wieners and less time struggling pathetically to light a fire.

C’mon, butler, light my fire . . .  

Hmm . . .

Speaking of marshmallows and wieners . . . if the label fits, wear it.

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OK, guys . . .

Fact or Fiction . . . the absolute Truth or a Tall Tale for April Fool’s Day?

Post your best guess in the Comment Box below and stay tuned for the next installment in our April Fool’s Day Contest.

Shrimp on the Barbie ~ Contest #7 March 29, 2010

Posted by nrhatch in Humor.
4 comments

The April Fool’s Day Contest continues!   Post your best guess below.

* * * * * 

Surfing channels the other night, BFF and I stumbled upon a fascinating look at our universe, with a rather uninspired title, “Universe.” 

While the title paled in headlines in The Daily Enquirer, the show itself was more than eye-opening, it was down-right eye-popping stuff!  

Picture your favorite cartoon character, with eyes popping out of its skull, and you’ll have a sense of what I mean.

Turns out that there is a Death Star, infinitely bigger, badder, and stronger than the man-made death star Darth Vader inhabited in “Star Wars” ~ a star whose very presence in the Universe is a threat to life here on Earth. 

In a nutshell, the Death Star is set to implode on itself in the not-too-distant future (though, fortunately, not in our life times). 

The implosion, when it happens, will not (in and of itself) create problems for mortals residing here on Planet Earth.  During the implosion, the Death Star will collapse in on itself and create a Black Hole in the Universe, but the beat down here on the Blue Planet will go on, with just slightly less light in our galaxy ~ but still plenty of light left to read and write by.

The danger arises if the implosion also creates a gamma burst, which apparently seems likely to the scientists who study these things. 

If a gamma burst radiates outward, while the Death Star is imploding inward, its deadly rays will head straight for Earth . . .

Oh, my God, Kenny, it’s heading straight for us.” 

Picture a flaming arrow headed straight for the bright red bulls-eye on the practice range target, with the bulls-eye being the Earth, and the flaming arrow being the death rays of the gamma burst. 

The inherent irony in the arrow analogy, amusing to the scientists mentioned previously (who apparently have nothing better to do with their time than laugh about impending disasters) is this:  

The Death Star is located in the constellation “Sagittarius” . . .  the sign of the Archer.

Coincidence, or not? 

Or does the Creator of the Universe have what many would consider to be a rather macabre sense of humor?

No matter. 

If that giant Archer in the sky lets loose the flaming arrow from the Death Star, and it heads straight at Earth (the most likely direction, per same scientists), the rays from the gamma burst will set the ozone layer (or what’s left of the ozone layer at that point in time) on F-I-R-E!

Poof!  The Earth and its atmosphere will go up in smoke!

And those residing here will become nothing more than Shrimp on the Barbie.

G’day, mates!

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OK, guys . . .

Fact or Fiction . . . the absolute Truth or a Tall Tale for April Fool’s Day?

Post your best guess in the Comment Box below and stay tuned for the next installment in our April Fool’s Day Contest.