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Define: “Good Cause” ~ Contest #8 March 28, 2010

Posted by nrhatch in Humor.
7 comments

The April Fool’s Day Contest continues!   Post your best guess below.

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My husband and I went to an “Annual Biggest-Ever Yard Sale” at a large, upscale gated community one Saturday morning, expecting to see fantastic bargains being tossed off by the wealthy and upwardly-mobile residents who lived in estates with fantastic water views from every window ~ views blocked only by the lines of their sleek water-craft docked just beyond the edges of the terrace, patio, and/or lanai, where they sit and sip champagne each evening while watching the sun set. 

Yes, that level of materialistic consumption disturbs me too , but how can we strive to “keep up with the Joneses” unless there are a few “Joneses” out there to emulate?

In any event, our expectations far exceeded reality. 

Most of the stuff for sale was C-R-A-P, except for one rather delicious doughnut that we purchased from a sidewalk vendor.

As we were leaving, empty-handed (except for the jelly smears from the doughnut), a resident offered to sell us a lottery ticket for $1. 

Before forking over the cash, we asked, “What would we win?”

Gesturing, he said, “This floral arrangement and a $100 bill.”

We glanced at the arrangement without being overly impressed by its design.  Sensing our hesitation, this street hawker jumped in with, “It’s for a good cause.”

Since we regularly donate to all manner of charities, from supporting children in Sri Lanka, to protecting the polar bears from global warming in Alaska, to finding a cure for Breast Cancer, our ears perked up when he said that the proceeds were for a “good cause.”

What good cause?” we asked in unison, expecting to hear that fifty percent of the lottery proceeds would be donated to the local high school, or to the F.I.S.H. Preserve, or to some other local endeavor.

For the second time that morning, our expectations far exceeded reality.

We’ll use the proceeds to buy new patio furniture for the community pool, and to plant palm trees around the complex, thus saving the residents from having to pay increased Homeowner’s Association dues.”

Wow!  That is so NOT my definition of a good cause.

Either he is naïve about the ways of the world, and what truly constitutes “good works,” or he felt (perhaps justifiably) that his audience would naïvely buy into his definition of “good cause” due to his slick style of presentation or the lure of the $100 bill pinned to the top of the floral arrangement.

Since parking was free as long as you bought something, but cost $5 a vehicle if you left empty-handed, we bought a $1 lottery ticket and waved it at the parking attendant as we quickly left the grounds . . . pausing briefly to admire the palm trees purchased and planted with the proceeds of last year’s Annual Biggest-Ever Yard Sale

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OK, guys . . .

Fact or Fiction . . . the absolute Truth or a Tall Tale for April Fool’s Day?

Post your best guess in the Comment Box below and stay tuned for the next installment in our April Fool’s Day Contest.

Go Brown??? ~ April Fool’s Contest #9 March 28, 2010

Posted by nrhatch in Humor.
5 comments

The April Fool’s Day Contest continues!   Post your best guess below.

* * * * * 

I stumbled across an inspiring show, Forecast Earth, on the Weather Channel one Sunday night while waiting for the FOX Animation Domination shows to begin at 8 pm.   

Two back-to-back shows touched upon the severe weather changes we face from global warming, specifically an increase in the frequency and intensity of coastal erosion, drought,  tornadoes, wildfires, and heatwaves, and then focused on solutions to these problems, like planting roof top gardens in urban centers to decrease heat build-up.

In the remaining segments, the show featured innovators in the world of Clean Tech (i.e., Green Technology). 

My favorite segment featured . . . Worm Poop!  ~ an organic fertilizer packaged in recycled soda bottles. 

The 25-year-old founder of the business got the idea while growing marijuana in his basement in Canada.  The plants grew lush and tall and potent due to the regular application of worm poop. 

Wanting to capitalize on the idea, he and his smoking buddies tried to borrow venture capital, with no luck ~ they couldn’t find a conservative banker anywhere who wanted to loan money to a bunch of college drop-outs who raised worm poop in the basement while smoking reefer.  

Determined to move forward with their idea, they lowered production costs by packaging the worm poop in recycled 2 litre soda bottles.  

Success! 

The company is thriving and expanding its innovative product lines to include:  kid’s juice boxes turned into shopping bags and pencil cases, and plastic grocery bags turned into colorful handbags.

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OK, guys . . .

Fact or Fiction . . . the absolute Truth or a Tall Tale for April Fool’s Day?

Post your best guess in the Comment Box below and stay tuned for the next installment in our April Fool’s Day Contest.