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Measure Twice, Cut Once March 27, 2010

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, People.
6 comments

The April Fool’s Day Contest continues!   Post your best guess below.

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If you are about to plan a funeral for yourself or a loved one, make sure you order the right size casket . . .

A few months ago, I heard an interesting, and rather gruesome tale, on a radio news report, about a very tall man who died in South Carolina.

After preparing the body for burial, the funeral home realized that the body was too long for the casket.

Rather than contacting the family to make other arrangements, the funeral parlor just cut off his legs.

Eeewwww . . . .

If you live in South Carolina, you do NOT need to worry about going to this funeral parlor as they have since lost their license to practice Mortuary Science.

I guess the state felt that they should have measured twice, rather than cutting once.

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OK, guys . . .

Fact or Fiction . . . the absolute Truth or a Tall Tale for April Fool’s Day?

Post your best guess in the Comment Box below and stay tuned for the next installment in our April Fool’s Day Contest.

The Birth Of Curling March 27, 2010

Posted by nrhatch in Exercise & Fitness, Fiction, Humor.
6 comments

Curling fascinates me.

It’s the only Olympic sport that gives out-of-shape middle-age men (who  train by playing poker, drinking beer, and smoking cigars) a shot at taking home a  Gold medal . . .  after downing a case of Golden Lager.

Who invented Curling?   The Scots, of course . . .

On a cold winter’s day in 1541, four Scotsmen finished a round of 18 holes at St. Andrews. (F.N. 1)

Par for the course (F.N. 2), these avid golfers visited the 19th Green to hoist a few shots of single malt Scotch before heading home for a heavy, hardy, manly meal of Haggis. (F.N. 3)

Hours later, the foursome stumbled outside the pub and spied a frozen tea kettle sitting in the middle of the icy parking lot.  Despite their inebriated condition, or perhaps because of it, the four Scots took turns swinging at it with their irons.

Eventually, as the sun rose over the highlands, one of the golfers, Ian Anderson MacGregor, exclaimed, “Ach, mon, this wee frozen kettle is curling away on the thin ice of the new day.” (F.N. 4)

Curling is now an Olympic sport. 

Golf is not. (F.N. 5)

Footnotes:

1.  Golf has been played on the links at St. Andrews since 1400 A.D.

2.  Puns intended

3.  Trust me, you do NOT want to know.

4.  Ian Anderson MacGregor’s great, great … great grandson borrowed the exclamation when writing the lyrics (and title) to Jethro Tull’s “Skating Away on the Thin Ice of the New Day.”

5.  Golf (and Rugby) will join the Olympic line-up during the 2016 Summer Games.

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OK, guys . . .

Fact or Fiction . . . the absolute Truth or a Tall Tale for April Fool’s Day?

Related posts:  Invent a new Olympic Sport (WP Prompt) * April Fool’s Day Contest