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Use Questions to Connect February 26, 2010

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Mindfulness, People.

When was the last time you had a truly memorable conversation?

One when you connected with someone else as a result of the thoughts, hopes, and dreams you were sharing?

If it’s been awhile since your conversations stepped outside the boundaries of current events, sports, or the weather, consider asking a few “leading” questions the next time you get together ~ questions designed to deepen your understanding of each other’s journey through life.

Here are a few conversation starters to consider:

* What have you always wanted to do that you have never done? 

* What do you wish you could do over ~ either to experience the same sensations again . . . or to get it right?

* What is the most wonderful experience that you have ever had?

* Which of your accomplishments gives you the most satisfaction?

* For which of your senses are you the most grateful? And why?

* What are the three most significant events of your life? 

But don’t just ask the questions . . . listen, really listen, to the answers.

When you listen, truly listen, the horizons of your world expand.

No rules.  Just write!


1. Richard W Scott - February 26, 2010

Thought provoking, as usual.
Despite being a visual personality, my most important sense is hearing.

Your questions remind me of a person I knew years ago.
She was a special listener. I never understood how she did it, but when she listened ot me, the things I thought and said were amazing. It was like she somehow pulled the pest out of me by just being there.

For years I’ve tried to listen to people the same way, but, sadly, I’ve never gained the knack this woman had.

2. nrhatch - February 26, 2010

Thanks, Rik

When I ran the domestic violence program, part of the training for the CIT volunteers involved learning how to LISTEN.

“Being heard” (for anyone, but especially for victims of domestic violence) is truly empowering ~ as you noted yourself in your comment about the special listener in your life.

Personally, I find that if I seek to understand, rather than to be understood, I am a better listener.

Of course, I always have so many thoughts and ideas that I’m anxious to share, that I don’t always LISTEN the way I’d like.

3. aardvarkian - February 26, 2010

Oh God, Mary’s going to be hit with a few of these the next time I see her. Thanks, Nancy ❤

4. nrhatch - February 26, 2010

That’s awesome, James.

True story: Thoughts of you and Mary popped into my head as I was about to post this!

5. aardvarkian - February 26, 2010

You know, I know her well; but I could also know her better – if you know what I mean.

6. aardvarkian - February 28, 2010

I started out by asking Mary the first question this evening. I never got to ask any of the others. I’ll save them for another day. Thanks, Nancy ❤

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