Three Zebras and an Ass January 31, 2013Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Humor, Mindfulness, Word Play.
Tags: Ass, Happiness, Humor, Mindfulness, Word Play, Zebra
An enormous ass ambled over to them and began to bray. Loudly.
The ass, delighted to have an audience for his grievances, complained about the weather, the surface of the road, the cost of carrots, his mother-in-law’s tongue, the state of the barn . . .
As the ass dumped his ponderous pile of dung at the zebras’ hooves, the zebras did their best to cheer him up.
To no avail.
No matter what the zebras said, the ass insisted that HIS view of the world was the right view of the world.
Zion smiled, “At times, we must choose between being right and being happy.”
“Poppycock! I’m happy BECAUSE I’m right! It just annoys me when people are rude and don’t apologize for being boorish. Why just the other day . . . ”
With that, the ass launched another stale tale.
Ziggy grinned, “We see the world behind our eyes.”
The ass snorted, “What utter nonsense! I see things exactly as they are.”
Zodiac pricked up his ears, “I expect you’re right . . . most asses do see things exactly as they are.”
Satisfied, the ass ambled off in search of another audience. As soon as he was out of sight, the zebras burst into fits of convulsive laughter.
“What an ass!”
Aah . . . that’s better!
No Sew Valance August 17, 2011Posted by nrhatch in Home & Garden, Sustainable Living, Word Play.
Tags: Zebra, Home and Garden, Window valance, Window Coverings
BFF and I have been replacing the old vertical blinds and valances on our sliding doors with new easy-to-operate single wand vertical blinds.
As we ejected one ugly balloon valance after another from the villa, I turned my attention to the lone window in my office.
There, above my desk, a hideous valance in mauve and mint mocked me.
“That,” I decided, “must go!”
Using two parts inspiration and one part perspiration, I transformed two zebra striped pillow shams into a valance for the window . . . without sewing a single stitch!
* I laid the shams side by side over the two-inch-wide (talk about overkill!) curtain rod to mark the horizontal mid-point of each sham.
* After unfolding them, I created three “tabs” for the curtain rod to slide through by snipping three sets of parallel slits through the “inside” layer of each sham.
* After threading the industrial size rod through the newly created tabs, I draped the uncut side of the sham in front of the rod, hung it above my desk, and arranged the folds.
I’m delighted with the end result:
The zebra print suits our decor far better than the mauve mint pattern which preceded it, and allowed me to “repurpose” un-used shams.
Fun Fact: In case you’re wondering, “valence” is also a word, meaning:
the combining power of an atom as shown by the number of its electrons that are lost, gained, or shared in the formation of chemical bonds
What a difference one letter makes, eh?
No rules. Just write!
What about you? Any stories to share about reducing, reusing, recycling, or repurposing objects around your home at no or low cost?
Zebras Rock! November 3, 2010Posted by nrhatch in Animal Welfare, Humor, Life Balance, Nature, Poetry.
Tags: Madagascar, Nature, Shel Silverstein, Zebra
Aah . . . zebras.
A leopard cannot change its spots, nor a zebra its stripes. ~ Proverb
I’m ten years old. My life is half over and I don’t even know if I’m black with white stripes or white with black stripes! ~ Marty the Zebra (Madagascar)
The zebra epitomizes the wildness of the Serengeti like no other creature. ~ Zalu Mubuto (speech to WWF, 1987)
There is no more fun loving, yet temperamental animal on the plain than the zebra. ~ Zalu Mubuto (comment to reporters, c. 1983)
Alex, do not interrupt me when I’m daydreaming. When a zebra’s in the zone, leave him alone. ~ Marty the Zebra (Madagascar)
As long as we have zebras in our midst, I shall be content. ~ Atlo Dogong (c.1915-1988) (comment at a trade meeting in Nairobi Kenya, 1979)
There’s no end to the things you might know
Depending how far beyond Zebra you go. ~ Dr. Seuss
I asked the zebra, Are you black with white strips? Or white with black strips?
And the zebra asked me:
Are you good with bad habits? Or are you bad with good habits?
Are you noisy with quiet times? Or are you quiet with noisy times?
Are you happy with sad days? Or are you sad with happy days?
Are you neat with some sloppy ways? Or are you sloppy with some neat ways?
And on and on and on and on
And on and on he went.
I’ll never ask a zebra about stripes again.
~ Shel Silverstein
A Light in the Attic
Look there, daddy. Do you see? There’s a horse in striped pajamas!
No, that’s not what it is at all. That’s an animal people call a zebra.
I see. But it still looks like a horse in striped pajamas to me.