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13 Unpolished Gems . . . One Stone October 25, 2013

Posted by nrhatch in Blogs & Blogging, Fun & Games, Humor, Word Play.
Tags: , , , , , ,
51 comments

I always seem to have more ideas to write about than time to write ~ the more I write, the more ideas I have.

Maybe writing primes the pump and keeps ideas flowing.

In any event, given the ever-growing backlog of draft posts incubating in my cyber desk, I’ve decided to toss out 13 esoteric, eclectic, extraneous, and unpolished “hidden gems” for pondering and perusal.

Here goes nothing:

(1) There is NOTHING like looking at my TO DO list for the day and realizing that most of the items on it have already been DONE!

Huzzah!

(2) Magazine titles make me snort.  For example: 16 Songs That EVERYONE Over The Age of 50 MUST Have.  Seriously?  There is NOTHING that everyone over the age of 50 would agree on except, perhaps, how lame lists like this really are.

And I don’t care what Supertramp says ~ do NOT take the long way home if you’re already in a hurry.

IMGP2373c

(3) People often underestimate the time it takes to get to know someone.  Even after all these years, I’m still getting acquainted with the “real me.”

(4) When you don’t know, go with the flow.  Have faith that you’ll end up where you need to be when you need to be there.

Besides, let’s say you veer off course, how are you ever gonna know?

(5) While we’re on the subject of faith, do those who believe in a personified deity picture God with eyes, ears, nose, mouth, chin, arms, legs, hands, feet?

How about a dick?  Or is picturing God with sexual organs a form of blasphemy?

(6) And what about Jesus?  Did he masturbate in his teens, succumbing to “sins of the flesh” before he knew he would be sitting on the right hand of an all-knowing all-seeing all-powerful vengeful God?  For all eternity.

AWKWARD!

(7) Ever notice how some people are addicted to the idea of being addicted? They claim their “addictions” (i.e., eating cookies and being a couch potato) are why they are fat and unhappy.  Bad habits are NOT addictions.  They are just a convenient way to abrogate responsibility for our personal health & well-being.

Care for a cookie?

IMGP3563b

(8) OMPM (One Mistake People Make) ~> Plastic Surgery for Pets.  When dogs are overweight, they do NOT need liposuction.

They need to go for a WALK!

(9) And speaking of walks, I do NOT support Walk for the Cure.  Rather than having masses of people moving from Point A to Point B to raise money, I’d rather see them planting trees, picking up trash, renovating apartments for the homeless, helping in soup kitchens, etc.

You know, raising funds by actually DOING something to improve the world.

(10) On that note, I DO support many causes . . . I just don’t let others goad me into adopting THEIR causes as my own.  In the AmeriCorps program at Salisbury University, members mentored and tutored at-risk youth. They enjoyed making a difference in the community.  And I enjoyed watching them make a difference.

What?  I supported them by being a cheerleader.  It’s not always about tossing money at problems.

(11) Which reminds me, I refuse to be manipulated by all the non-monetized awards circulating through cyber space.  If people want me to play by the rules, give acceptance speeches, nominate more bloggers, spill my guts, post the award on my sidebar, etc., etc., etc., they should attach a stipend to the award!

Yeah, baby. Show me the money!

(12) Did you hear that Facebook is claiming a trademark for the “Thumbs Up” sign?  Right!  FB came up with the “Thumbs Up” sign the same way that Al Gore dreamed up the Internet.

In their dreams!

(13) Are you getting tired of the LIKE button?  Don’t you wish WordPress would offer more creative options?  Pressing “Thought Provoking,” “Hysterically Funny,” “Awesome Photos,” and/or “Wild Applause” for this post would be way better than pressing LIKE, right?

Can you give me a Thumbs Up?

Log out of FB first, to ensure you don’t get sued for Trademark Infringement.

Aah . . . that’s better!  

Nothing like killing 13 “gems” with one stone.  If any of these thoughts SPARK YOUR SNARK, speak up.

C’mon . . . get your SNARK on!

Need tips?  Visit Kate.  Oh, wait, Kate says she lost her SNARK.  Hmm . . . I don’t buy it.  Here’s some SNARK she shared just days ago in a post about Peace and Quiet.

Need more SPARK for your SNARK?  Check out Col’s post, Wild Weekend, in which he shares a poem about tons of Hippo Poo being deposited where fish pee, eat, drink, sleep, and have sex.

Oh, he didn’t mention sex?  My bad.

Related Posts:  How Do You Fill Your Creative Tank? (Andra Watkins) * Writing Magic (Vivian Kirkfield) * Daily Prompt: Simply the Best (Modern Human Culture)

Apologies to Mother Goose April 14, 2013

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Fun & Games, Humor, Poetry.
Tags: , , , ,
21 comments

Wikipedia ~ Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater (in Public Domain)

Tired of pumpkin consumption and running out of wives to fill the wells of all those empty shells, Peter longed for a substance with substance.

Something with less residue than an autumnal gourd.

When he found it . . . WOW!

Peter, Peter, Mushroom Eater
Wrote a poem with perfect meter
He put it on a WordPress site
Where it was Fresh Pressed that very night

What a trip!

Peter was flying high.

Wikipedia ~ Mother Goose (in Public Domain)

Not content to be a “one hit wonder,” Peter continued experimenting.

With poetry.

He longed to become the next Dr. Seuss.

Or Mother Goose.

The goose that laid the golden egg.

Then our “funny fungus” feeder
Wrote a poem that went still deeper
It blew our minds time and again
With wisdom from the depths of Zen

Mother Goose approved.
Dr. Seuss refrained from comment.

Aah . . . that’s better!

When You Have Something To Say November 2, 2012

Posted by nrhatch in Blogs & Blogging, Humor, Word Play, Writing & Writers.
Tags: , , , , ,
46 comments

I forget where I saw it and exactly how she put it, but I read a comment recently bemoaning the fact that some bloggers choose to post daily.

The commenter contended that it is rare to find someone who has something worth saying every day.

I disagree.  I follow bloggers who write consistently entertaining posts day after day after day. 

Kate Shrewsday springs to mind.  A laminated copy of her recent post, Toilet Zen: Henry VIII and Lavatory Reading, should be kept in everyone’s throne room.   Kate’s writing is majestic.

Other bloggers share inspirational thoughts, words,  photographs, art, recipes, and images on an equally consistent basis. 

A visit to their blogs always feels like time well spent.

Perhaps our contentious commenter reads the wrong blogs?  Or maybe she is annoyed that prolific bloggers have stolen “her” audience?

That said, WP’s recent post, NaBloPoMo is here! Need some inspiration?,  rubbed me the wrong way when, with great exuberance, it cheered:

“It’s time to put your thinking cap on, fire up the computer, chug some extra coffee, and get a-postin’!”

Why?  So that we can ALL boast that we posted something EVERY day in November in conjunction with the NaBloPoMo challenge?

Where’s the value in that?

I headed round to compare the NaBloPoMo challenge (write a blog post a day for a month) with the NaNoWriMo challenge (write a 50,000 word novel in a month).  

Arriving at NaBloPoMo headquarters, I stared in horrified fascination at the site’s self-proclaimed theme . . . blogging for blogging’s sake.

Wow!  That sounds a bit like talking just to hear yourself talk!  At least WP encouraged us to put on our thinking caps BEFORE striking blindly away at the keys. 

Blogging is a great way to say something . . . when we have something to say.  It has far less value when we post just to say something.

For that, there’s Facebook. 

Aah . . . that’s better!

Have you ever stopped following a blog because they seemed to be  “blogging for blogging’s sake” . . . even when they had nothing to say?

Related posts:  Why I Write (Janna T Writes) * Why I Write (The Water Witch’s Daughter) * Why Write? * Cooks cook.  Dancers dance.  Writers Write.

Don’t Wait To Be Freshly Pressed May 23, 2012

Posted by nrhatch in Blogs & Blogging, Bulletin Board, Writing & Writers.
Tags: , , ,
comments closed

Tired of waiting around to be discovered by the Freshly Pressed crew?

Here’s a new way to get noticed on WP . . . A Post for Your Thoughts!  WP recently added the “Submit a Topic” page to the Daily Post menu.  Via the “Submit a Topic” page, you can send WP suggestions for new posts or submit your story for any one of three new series:

Brian-with-coffee-and-newspaper* Why I Blog ~ what makes your blog tick?

* Blogger Profiles ~ recommend favorite bloggers who never cease to amaze you.

* My Morning Coffee ~ share your favorite blog stops with others.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Quote to Ponder:  Success is sharing the best parts of yourself with the world.

Disabling The Default Comment Setting May 16, 2012

Posted by nrhatch in Blogs & Blogging, Bulletin Board, Life Balance.
Tags: , , , ,
57 comments

After the “great feedback” it received last week, WP launched an update to subscribe us, by default, to comment threads whenever we post a comment.

After summarizing the experiment WP has been running for the past week or so, Beau Lebens explained the launch of the new default setting . . . AND how to disable it:

By default, posting a comment will now subscribe you to receive follow-up comments via email for that specific post, keeping you updated on the conversation.

This is indicated by the checked box in the comment form.

If you have a WordPress.com account, you now have a global setting to change this so that by default you will not be subscribed.  

If you don’t have an account, then you can create one over here.

To read the whole article:  Stay In The Conversation.

If, like me, you do NOT want to be subscribed to comment threads by default, go to E-Mail Delivery Settings . . . scroll down to Follow Comments and UNCHECK the box.

Then SAVE your changes. 

What an EASY way to keep weeds out of our garden!

After changing the default setting, you can still follow comment threads on intriguing posts by checking the box when you post your comment.   

Aah . . . that’s better! 

The WP Blogging Time Warp May 9, 2012

Posted by nrhatch in Blogs & Blogging, Bulletin Board, Music & Dance.
Tags: , , , ,
comments closed

Ever since WP changed the default setting on the comment box (to encourage people to subscribe to ALL comment threads) . . . I’ve been experiencing a Blogging Time Warp.

I write a post.  Someone comments.  I see the comment ON the post itself and respond to it.

Twenty-four hours later (plus or minus), the comment travels through the WP Blogging Time Warp and arrives in my In-Box.

Déjà vu!

Wikipedia ~ Traffic Congestion (in Public Domain)

I expect that the change made by WP has caused any number of “Comment Jams” in cyber-space.

Comment Jams, like log jams and traffic jams, result when too many objects following the same path or trajectory arrive at the same place at the same time and end up going nowhere fast.

Maybe WP needs to rethink their decision to change the default setting.

What say you?  

Aah . . . that’s better! 

Related posts:  Loco Subscription (Pocket Perspectives) * It’s Hard to Breathe Lighter When WP Goes Rogue (BreatheLighter)

Warning: Slow Load March 27, 2012

Posted by nrhatch in Art & Photography, Blogs & Blogging, Humor.
Tags: , , ,
66 comments

I unsubscribed from several blogs this week because they l~o~a~d  s~o  s~l~o~w  that my computer gets distracted and drifts off to do something else.

Leaving me hanging . . .
Like a chad . . .
Twiddling my thumbs . . .

Waiting . . .

Still waiting . . .
Still waiting . . .

In each case, the bouncer at the front  door would NOT let me leave without signing the guest registry . . . even though my computer was FROZEN in cyber space and unable to respond to commands.

My only recourse?  Sneak out the back door by closing my browser.

I’m not up to speed on all the things that slow down the speed of websites opening their drawbridges to allow visitors to cross over the cyber moat but one of the prime offenders is . . . over-sized red suspenders.

Attribution: WyrdLight.com

Or any other photograph that is larger than needed for web viewing.

Before uploading graphics to your post, cut them down to size.  Resizing won’t hurt them.

But it will make your cyber castle more accessible to peasants.

Like me.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Still In The “Spammer Slammer” March 21, 2012

Posted by nrhatch in Blogs & Blogging, Bulletin Board, Humor.
Tags: , , , , ,
58 comments

Despite e-mails to WP and Akismet proclaiming my innocence (“I am NOT Spam”) . . . most sites are still swallowing anything I try to say whole.

Ha ha . . . joke’s on them!

They’ll probably end up with a bad case of indigestion.

A few blogs have allowed me to comment yesterday and today.  Yay!

Swing by  Rufus Food & Spirits to check out Greg and Katharine’s yummy post on all things  strawberry ~ you’ll be drooling, no fooling!

On another fruity note, PiP needs a tip about what to do with her unusual pot ~ it’s unsuitable for forcing rhubarb, but might make a unique hat.

Mirth & Motivation welcomed Spring with FLOWERS!

Kate “unspammed” several of my comments yesterday.  This morning, I joined Kate for a Chat Over Coffee . . . and my comment posted without first being relegated to the cyber dungeons.

Andra “unspammed” yesterday’s comment on MAXIM.  Freed from cyber purgatory, I paid a visit to her latest post . . . The Attack of the Killer Boobs ~ definitely a good reminder to check the small print when ordering on-line.  

Suzicate used her boundless Springtime Energy to travel through time and space . . . from Braveheart to Beach to Garden . . . in a single post.

So I know I’m not a Cyber Ghost. 

Yet.

Photo Challenge ~ Contrast March 9, 2012

Posted by nrhatch in Art & Photography, Blogs & Blogging, Nature.
Tags: , , , ,
44 comments

Walking into the library one sunny afternoon, I saw a shadow out of the corner of my eye . . . the sharp contrast between plant, wall, and spiked shadow captured my attention:

A few days later, we attended a cocktail party for alumni of my alma mater at the Tampa Bay Aquarium.   Most of the photos I shot through the glass ended up on the cutting room floor . . . but the contrast between dark water and these glow-in-the-dark jelly fish encouraged me to keep this one: 

I also kept one depicting the contrast between slow waters . . . and fast fish:

And this rooftop shot depicting the contrast between night sky and night lights:

Aah . . . that’s better!

Related post:  Weekly Photo Challenge ~ Contrast (WP Prompt)

A Secret Stash of Thinks & Thunks October 18, 2011

Posted by nrhatch in Blogs & Blogging, Humor, Writing & Writers.
Tags: , , , , ,
42 comments

How do you keep track of your writing ideas?

* In a folder or file?
* On the computer?
* In a bulging notebook?
* On lists littering your desktop?
* On a profusion of post-its?

A few years ago, I started stashing ideas in a private project I created on WEbook called Miscellaneous Musings ~ a writing journal full of ideas to implement down the road.

Each time an idea popped into my head, I’d create a new chapter, with snippets of this and that visible only to me.

Using a virtual cyber-screen allowed my half-baked ideas to incubate behind closed doors.
448px-Alice_05a-1116x1492On occasion, a curious sort would knock and ask to be invited in to take a look around.I’d point to the “Do Not Disturb” sign and keep writing.

“No blue aqui.”  “Move along people, there’s nothing to see here.”  

These days, I file Thinks and Thunks in draft posts on SLTW for later mining and refining.

If only Rumpelstiltskin (or the Keebler Elves) would transform my virtual dumping ground of Miscellaneous Musings into hidden gems worthy of excavation.

No rules . . . just write! 

Quote:  There is only one trait that marks the writer.  He is always watching.  It’s a kind of trick of the mind and he is born with it. ~ Morley Callahan

How about you?  Do you have a secret stash of ideas stored in cyberspace?

Related posts:  Premature Ejaculation * Blogging:  A Waggish Waste of Time? * The Sting of the Bard * Exploring Mind Caves For Hidden Gems * Down The Blog Hole * Fun With Words: One Syllable Challenge * The Power of the Pen

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