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Angling for a Complement March 29, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Home & Garden, Word Play.
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The last time we walked down Pine Avenue, I noticed Kermit fishing.

“Hey Kermit!  What cha doing?”

2014-03-01 16-22-25_0019

“Oh, hi there.  I’m angling for a complement.”

“A compliment?  What kind of compliment?”

2014-03-01 16-22-17_0018

“Not compliment.  Complement.  I’m hanging around, dangling this line, and angling for my soul mate . . .  the divine Miss Piggy.”

“What a compliment for Miss Piggy!”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Breathing Life Into Characters February 26, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Books & Movies, Word Play, Writing & Writers.
Tags: , , , , ,

Tim Dorsey knows how to breathe life into his characters.

In a single paragraph, he describes 7 characters using brief sketches, allowing readers to flesh in the rest:

* Major Fletcher ~ steady leader with blond hair, a close shave, and a square dependable jaw

* Lee Barnes ~ a crusty and foul-mouthed veteran with hangover stubble and a footlocker of vintage Playboys

* Milton “Bananas” Foster ~ a highly excitable yet gifted mechanical wizard

* Marilyn Sebastian ~ a plucky aerial reconnaissance officer, as tough as any man, but every bit a woman

* Pepe Miguelito ~ a forlorn youth with pencil mustaches and unending girl troubles

* “Tiny” Baxter ~ a massive country boy from Oklahoma with simple but strong values

* William Honeycutt ~ a former bantamweight champion

Dorsey provides enough detail to bring his characters to life . . . without beating them to death.

Sometimes a skeletal outline or quick sketch connects us to a character faster than too many extraneous details.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Related post:  Explanations (Candid Impressions) * Two Writers Debate: Pantsing vs. Plotting (Eric John Baker) * The End is Never the End (Grannymar)

Anything We Want February 25, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, People, Poetry, Word Play.
Tags: , ,

FlyWe can be anything we want
Anything at all

We can tower over the trees
Or play it small

We don’t need a degree
To be an astronaut
And fly to the moon

Imagineer wanted . . . no experience necessary

Huey,-Dewey-And-LouieA quest!
A quest!

Climb aboard that mighty steed
What experience do we need
To soar in the clouds

Lifted by our inner composer
Fed by our inner artist

Unfettered by Ego, we have no anchor in the past

Mickey-OKWith no masks to block our view
We are as we are

Free to be
Anything we want

Aah . . . that’s better!

A Few Good Quotes February 24, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Word Play, Writing & Writers.
Tags: , ,

Donald-Duck-Diving Do It!  Let’s Get Off Our Buts by Peter McWilliams  contains a plethora of fantastic quotes.

Here are a few favorites:

1.  Do or do not.  There is no try. ~ Yoda

2.  It’s hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head. ~ Sally Kempton

3.  Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed. ~ Michael Pritchard

4.  Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. ~ Garrison Keillor

5.  Only two things are infinite ~ the universe and human stupidity.  And I’m not sure about the former. ~ Albert Einstein

Donald-Duck-Baseball6.  The ancestor of every action is a thought. ~ Emerson

7.  Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny. ~ Kin Hubbard

8.  Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another. ~ Madonna

9.  The only man who is really free is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse. ~ Jules Renard

10.  Do not do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  Their tastes may not be the same.  ~ George Bernard Shaw

11.  Never keep up with the Joneses.  Drag them down to your level.  It’s cheaper. ~ Quentin Crisp

12.  I always wanted to be somebody.  I should have been more specific. ~ Lily Tomlin

Donald-Director13.  How beautiful it is to do nothing, and then rest afterward. ~ Spanish Proverb

14.  Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. ~ Jules Renard

15.  The sun will set without thy assistance. ~ The Talmud

16.  A man is rich in proportion to the number of things which he can afford to leave alone. ~ Thoreau

17.  There is only one success ~ to be able to spend your life in your own way. ~ Christopher Morley

18.  What is money?  A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do. ~ Bob Dylan

19.  There is more to life than increasing its speed. ~ Gandhi

Donald-Duck-Painting20.  A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. ~ Abraham Maslow

21.  When you cease to make a contribution, you begin to die. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

22.  He deserves Paradise who makes his companions laugh. ~ The Koran

Aah . . . that’s better!

Palm Fronds to Baskets February 4, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Poetry, Word Play.
Tags: , , ,

IMGP3865We watched thick nimble fingers weave
palm fronds to baskets


Drunk on the notion of island living
picking up stakes
to stay, play, and sway
down under

Aah . . . that’s better!

Related posts:  Cyber Hermit * A Defining Moment * Circle of Friends * My Batch Wattery

Again January 19, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Humor, Poetry, Word Play.
Tags: , , ,

IMGP1696aLife is so negative
That I cannot be positive

About anything at all

Why are we born?
To feel sad and forlorn?

It all makes me feel small

Why can’t life
Be more like love’s free fall?

Then, I could smile

The harder we fall
The higher we fly

Oh, wait, I’ve got that backwards

Aah . . . that’s better!


Eeyore-SittingPoetry Prompt:  Write an angst-ridden poem, riddled with hopelessness.   Bonus points for making us laugh out loud.

You have captured the angst
That swirls round their ranks
Their words are absurd
But they want to be heard
And that’s why their poetry tanks!

* * * * *

How do you respond to angst-riddled poetry?

Do hopeless poems pull you down the mole hole, blocking out the sun?  Or are you inclined to think of examples to counter the expressed despair?

Do you “buy in” or “opt out”?

Related posts:  Love Is Off Limits * Laughter: The Antidote to Insanity

Now That’s Punny! January 18, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Humor, Joke, Word Play.
Tags: , , , ,

Pluto-Happy1.  Shotgun wedding – a case of wife or death.

2.  Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

3.  A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

4.  Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

5.  Practice safe eating – always use condiments.  You may notice a vague feeling of dijon vu from using the same mustard as before.

6.  Does the name PavLov ring a bell?

7.  Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

8.  A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

9.  When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.

10.  She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but he broke it off.

11.  With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

12.  A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

13.  A lot of money is tainted – taint yours and taint mine.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source: e-mail from unknown author (sent by Granny1947).

Related puns:  All In A Day’s Work * No Pun In Ten Did *  Live Laugh and Learn * Virtual Reality * (Duck) Soup to Nuts * Crime Doesn’t Pay (Much) * That’s Gonna Leave A Mark * Very Punny

Wading Through Sot-Weeds January 8, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Books & Movies, Humor, Word Play, Writing & Writers.
Tags: , , , , ,

My favorite thing about writing is its complete and utter autonomy:

* My book.
* My rules.
* My choice of characters.

Anyone who writes a book, play, or screenplay gets to choose the world, the setting, the time period, and the people populating center stage.

That said, readers do have a voice.

When following the threads of a story, I enjoy a sense of continuity.  Imagery and poetry in perpetuity are not enough for me.  I need something to hang my hat on or my attention wanes.

“Sot-Weed Factor” fan
proclaims it ~ “the best English
written novel yet”

Hopes high, I dove deep
where obscure digressions and
parodies parade

Wading through Sot-Weeds
grew cruelly tiresome, I
turned to other worlds

Reading a voluminous tome or treatise filled with esoteric references holds little appeal . . . when the whole forest is out there waiting to be explored.

That’s my favorite thing about reading ~ the complete and utter autonomy to choose whether to remain in an author’s audience or turn to other words and other worlds.

Aah . . . that’s better!

While writing this post, I learned I’m not alone in my unwillingness to wade through Barth’s laborious labors:

“John Barth’s “The Sot-Weed Factor” is a brilliantly specialized performance, so monstrously long that reading it seemed nearly as laborious as writing it. Obviously Barth (author previous of “The End of the Road” and “The Floating Opera”) believed he needed these approximately 500,000 words to achieve his effects. Few will agree with him, for though he abounds in excellent satirical devices he is addicted to repeating them.”

* * *

“Though it is not for all palates, it is possible that Barth’s book may be cherished by its true audience for some time to come.”

Fuller, Edmond, “The Joke is on Mankind,” NY Times, August 21, 1960.

Have you read The Sot-Weed Factor?  

Did you consume its 500,000 words in one gulp or spit it out before digesting its divergent digressions?

Related posts:  The Clean (Book)Plate Club *  Andrew Zimmern’s Picks Don’t Appeal

Feel Free To Disagree January 7, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, People, Poetry, Word Play.
Tags: , , , , ,

IMGP1472aWhen I’m not entirely sure
About what’s what

I want you to disagree with me

Your counter to my point
Helps me hone my thrust

So I know better what I mean

Feel free to disagree
Give it your best shot

Your point may become my counter

What is there to defend, after all?
Our glorious and fragile Egos?

Aah . . . that’s better!

Absolute certainty is a privilege of uneducated minds and fanatics. ~ C.J. Keyser

Related posts:  “There’s Naught So Queer As Folk” * Shades of Gray Proliferate

Very Punny January 4, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Humor, Joke, Word Play.
Tags: , , , ,

Death can be a Laughing Matter

* The Grim Reaper came for me last night.  I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death.

* At the cemetery yesterday, I noticed four grave diggers walking about with a coffin for what seemed like hours.  I thought, “they’ve lost the plot!”

* Just got back from my mate’s funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service.

* My wife has been missing a week.  Police said to prepare for the worst, so I went to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.”

Ahoy, Matey!

Donald-Duck-Driving* A mate of mine denied being addicted to brake fluid.  He reckoned he could stop any time.

* “Hey, Paddy!  Why ya talkin’ to that envelope?” “I’m sending a voice mail, ya thick sod!”

* 19 mates go to the cinema.  The ticket lady exclaims, “So many of you!” Mick nods, “The film said 18 or over.”

* My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 this morning! Can you believe that?  Lucky for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.

* “Mick, I’m thinking of getting a Labrador.”  “Bugger that,” says Mick, “have you seen how many of their owners go blind?”

The Fairer Sex


* My girlfriend thinks I’m a stalker. Well . . . she’s not exactly my girlfriend yet.

* A wife says to her husband, “you’re always pushing me around and talking behind my back.”  He says, “what do you expect? You’re in a wheelchair.”

* My daughter asked me for a spider for her birthday.  At the pet shop, they were £70! “Blow this,” I thought, “I can get one cheaper off the web.”

* My wife was counting all the 1p’s and 2p’s out on the kitchen table when she got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason. I thought, “she must be going through the change.”

* In the pub, I heard a couple of wankers saying they wouldn’t feel safe on a plane if they knew the pilot was a woman. How sexist! It’s not as if she’d have to reverse the bloody thing!

* The “Knitting Needle Nutter” stabbed six people in the arse in the last 48 hours.  Police believe she could be following some kind of pattern.

Now that’s Punny!


* I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.

* Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not Happy.

* At an ATM yesterday, a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.

* The “rocket salad” I bought went off before I could eat it!

* A bear is working on a building site. When he returns from tea break, he notices his pick has been stolen.  Annoyed, he reports the theft to the foreman, who grins and says, “Oh, I forgot to tell you . . . today’s the day the teddy bears have their pick nicked.”

* An Asian fellow moved in next door. He’s traveled the world, swum with sharks, wrestled bears, and climbed the highest mountain.  His name? Bindair Dundat.

* I was driving this morning when I saw an AA van. The driver was sobbing and looked miserable. I thought, “that guy’s heading for a breakdown.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source: e-mail from unknown author (sent by Granny1947).


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