The Best Is Yet To Come . . . August 21, 2014Posted by nrhatch in Gratitude, Happiness, Humor, Life Lessons, Mindfulness.
Tags: Gratitude, Happiness, Humor, Life Lessons, Mindfulness
When there isn’t a 4-foot-long gator in one of the lakes or an upcoming social event looming on the horizon, the board is used to post inspirational sayings, trivia questions, etc.
* Kindness Echoes
* Who Shot J.R.?
* Shift Happens
* Which 2 vegetables are perennials?
Yesterday, the board announced:
THE BEST IS YET TO COME
Hmm . . . I’m not convinced.
“The best is yet to come” is one of those rather ridiculous “truisms” we intone with great regularity to remind ourselves to “keep on trucking.”
I don’t think it’s a true statement. Not for most of us, anyway. At best, the best is yet to come for some of the people, some of the time.
Unless, maybe, it’s meant in the collective sense.
Once global warming and climate change and melting glaciers wipe man off the face of the planet, animals like the Black Rhino may breathe a sigh of relief:
Now, that’s good. In fact, it’s the best!
God should NEVER have taken that extended sabbatical after Day 7. He should have pushed through the burn straight into Day 8.
But that’s only in the collective sense.
On an individual basis, how many of us really believe that “the best is yet to come”?
Kids, sure ~ especially in the days leading up to Christmas.
Young adults, maybe ~ until the bills start rolling in faster than the paychecks.
New parents, of course ~ those little bundles of joy are full of promise. A fresh canvas. Another chance to “get it right.”
But what then?
Do we really believe that “the best is yet to come” AFTER we’ve ticked all the requisite boxes:
* Grow up
* Get married
* Have kids (or don’t)
* Enter the workforce
* Buy a house . . . with granite counter tops and double sinks!
* Get a gold watch
The idea of retirement keeps many of us moving forward.
But if retirement is “the best” . . . why do so many oldsters look over their shoulders to talk about “the good old days.”
For that matter, if we are convinced that the best is yet to come, why are we not giddy with anticipation, like Goofy, at the start of each new day?
For most of us, life is like riding a roller coaster ~ we reach a pinnacle and then begin a slow descent (or steep terrifying drop) as we age.
As years flow from one to the next, we are forced to say good-bye to people and things we once loved. In our golden years, after getting that gold watch, we experience aches and pains, difficulty sleeping, and creeping senility.
We no longer stare at the ceiling “too excited to sleep.” We’re awake at 2 a.m. because insomnia has, once again, interfered with our steadfast desire for deep restorative sleep and peaceful slumber.
I am not persuaded that the best is yet to come.
I suspect that Robin Williams felt the same.
Or, perhaps, after struggling with insomnia, he just longed for oblivion.
Morpheus, Morpheus . . . where for are’t thou Morpheus?
The trick to moving forward to the “Finish Line” (rather than jumping ship or pulling the plug) lies in getting a good night’s sleep. Every night.
Failing that, we increase the odds of enjoying ourselves for the duration of the cruise when we: (a) hang on to our sense of humor, (b) maintain perspective, (c) focus on the positives (like getting a good night’s sleep once in a Blue Moon), (d) eat lots of chocolate, and (e) convince ourselves that things don’t have to be “the best” in order to be “good enough.”
Collect enough drops of joy on a moment by moment basis and life is pretty good ~ even if we no longer feel like a kid in a candy shop who’s too excited to sleep because we’ve been brainwashed into believing the best is yet to come.
Aah . . . that’s better! (Stay tuned ~ the best is yet to come!)
Sometimes It’s Hard To “Come Clean” August 18, 2014Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Life Lessons, Mindfulness, People.
Tags: Ego, Humor, Life Lessons, Mindfulness, People
Have you ever overheard someone recount an event (of which you have first hand knowledge) by shading the truth, more than a little, to place themselves in a better light?
Claiming the role of blameless victim to a vicious attack, rather than recognizing their role as instigator or co-participant?
Maybe it’s the attorney in me, but when someone shares a sob story that sounds one-sided, lopsided, or far-fetched, I do not offer blind support.
I ask a few questions first, to ascertain whether the story is factual or fictional.
Ignoring the warning, she backed Jazz into a corner and reached out to grab him.
He scratched her.
Eyes brimming with tears, she exclaimed, “Jazz scratched me!”
We examined the scratch ~ a glancing blow issued as a “step away from the cat” warning.
“What were you doing when he scratched you?”
“Really? You weren’t trying to pick him up? Or pet him? Or follow him around? You were just sitting still and he ran over to you?”
“Well . . . he was under the table, and I just wanted to pet him, and when I got close to him, he scratched me. But I wasn’t going to hurt him! I didn’t mean to bother him. I just wanted to pet him.”
Our Egos don’t want to admit the part we played in escalating situations from peaceful co-existence to hissing, scratching, tail-pulling, or worse.
But it’s worth it when we do.
Aah . . . that’s better!
Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. ~ Mahatma Gandhi
Reality: What A Concept! August 17, 2014Posted by nrhatch in Health & Wellness, Life Lessons, Mindfulness, People.
Tags: Depression, Mindfulness, People, Reality, Robin Williams, Suicide
Instead of looking at life through Robin’s eyes to garner the whys of his demise, bloggers mentioned him, in passing, as a stepping stone to get other issues into the spotlight.
It is easier to know man in general than to know one man in particular. ~ Duc de la Rochefoucauld
* Some called for more resources for those who struggle with mental illness.
A laudable goal, for sure, but I suspect that Robin had adequate (if not ample) resources available to him.
* Others called for us to be kinder in our daily doings and dealings.
An excellent suggestion, but I doubt that Robin took his own life because of bullies on the cyber-playground or people looking at him askance.
* Some cited the need for open discussion about depression and addiction.
A noteworthy objective, which I suspect is irrelevant to Robin’s death since he spoke in public forums about these “taboo topics” with great regularity.
* Others encouraged us to lend an ear and really listen to those around us.
Yes! We should do that. And, yet, I’m not convinced that our poor listening skills, even collectively, caused Robin to end his life.
Sometimes talking makes “it” better. Other times, talking just makes it BIGGER.
Instead of focusing on the reality of Robin’s life, many tributes gave Robin little more than a passing glance before veering off in other directions.
Not surprising, really ~ our view of reality is skewed because we’re looking at life through a dirty lens and cloudy filter.
When something happens, our experiences, concerns, and viewpoints form an opaque overlay, obscuring reality. We tell ourselves stories and fanciful fictions in a futile effort to create order from chaos and sense from nonsense.
We see the world behind our eyes.
That’s not to say that our creation of ostensible tributes to Robin Williams was misplaced energy. I don’t have a suitable vantage point to understand or oversee all the various ripples set in motion by our actions and inaction.
Perhaps the outpouring of emotion following his death will cause a tidal wave of love and compassion, lifting us high above the surreal landscape. From that heightened perspective, maybe we’ll catch a glimpse of reality as IT IS instead of as WE ARE.
A quiet mind, like the surface of a still pond, provides a more accurate reflection.
Reality: What a concept!
Aah . . . that’s better!
On the outside chance that Robin is reading this in Never Never Land, let me close with his view of reality:
Reality is just a crutch for people who can’t cope with drugs. ~ Robin Williams
Related post: Why We Mourn the Death of Celebrities (Smart Living 365)
Gifts From The Heart August 8, 2014Posted by nrhatch in Gratitude, Humor, Life Lessons, Mindfulness.
Tags: Gifts, Gratitude, Humor, Life Lessons, Mindfulness
Other people seem to be trying to prove that they are good people by telling others about their good deeds.
It’s like they want applause and accolades for past performances.
Which makes me question whether their initial motivation was to help others or to be perceived as helpful by others.
So they can remind us that we “owe” them a favor.
A tit for a tat, if you will.
I don’t see life that way.
Gifts from the heart don’t come with strings attached.
Recipients are not obligated to reciprocate.
When we stop striving to “be someone,” we are free of the Ego’s incessant desire for accolades, applause, and attention from those around us.
We no longer act out of the desire for approval, constantly looking around to see who’s watching.
If we do something kind for others and the act is not acknowledged, we are just as pleased as we would be if the act were applauded.
We make choices and decisions based on the firm footing of the Essential Self, rather than on the shaky ground of the False Self.
We no longer give with the expectation of reciprocity since we do not give to get.
We give to give.
Aah . . . that’s better!
When we let go of attachments and expectations, Spirit frees us to evolve, change and grow, from tiny ripples of peace and acceptance, to tidal waves of love and compassion.
How refreshing the whinny of a pack horse fully unloaded! ~ Classic Haiku
Related post: She Let Go (Yoga with Maheshwari)
Teasing Taunts August 6, 2014Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Humor, Meditation, Mindfulness.
Tags: Happiness, Humor, Meditation, Mind, Mindfulness
Well, not always.
Sometimes it continues to flit about like a speeding cheetah on steroids.
When it’s acting recalcitrant, I settle back to watch its merry dance . . . without chasing after its teasing taunts.
Aah . . . that’s better!
Related post: Distractions (In the Stillness of Willow Hill)
Awakening To The Sacred August 3, 2014Posted by nrhatch in Books & Movies, Life Balance, Meditation, Mindfulness.
Tags: Lama Surya Das, Meditation, Mindfulness, Yoga
In Awakening to the Sacred: Creating a Spiritual Life, Lama Surya Das first examines Matters of the Spirit, touching upon common themes and questions at the heart of every spiritual path, including thoughts about faith, doubt, freedom, truth, love, compassion, and enlightenment.
In the remainder of the book, Surya Das offers a variety of spiritual practices for use by seekers of all backgrounds who wish to enhance their journey through life: Meditation * Mindfulness * Spiritual Study * Yoga * Simplicity * Fasting * Prayer * Spiritual Readings * Journals * Chanting * Gardening * Breath * Haiku * Staying in the Moment.
At the outset, he reminds readers that awareness is the essential ingredient in a spiritual life: the spiritual path is best walked step by step, very mindfully, with as much consciousness and commitment as one can summon. He encourages seekers to incorporate daily practices to help get and keep them in touch with the essence of spirituality ~ peace, love, freedom and belonging.
As a Lama in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition, Surya Das explains the teachings of Buddha throughout the book. For example:
The Buddha’s teachings were concerned with finding the nirvanic peace and freedom of enlightenment, the end to all forms of suffering and delusion. He saw these goals as being determined by the cause and effect of individual behavior without divine intervention. (p.23)
As a result of his Western upbringing, he addresses theistic religions with equal clarity and ease:
In all truly sacred traditions there is an essential resolve to cherish life and treat others ethically and kindly. All these traditions encourage us to be open to divine presence, both within and without, and tell us to practice what we preach without hypocrisy or sleight of hand. (p. 29)
Surya Das encourages us all to cultivate clear vision, as well as personal authenticity. In other words, to see things as they are, and to be more fully who we are:
We practice Dharma when we stop clinging to our preconceived notions about what we should do and achieve. We find truth when we learn to let go, accept, see things as they are, and just be. We find truth by discovering our inner light, our inner value and values, our authenticity and genuineness. This is living truly. (p. 114)
First there is enlightenment, when we start to see things as they are, and then, if we work at it, there is transformation, when we learn to live, embody, and stabilize those truths in our daily lives.
To experience either, you must stay awake and aware.
Surya Das emphasizes the need of all seekers to open their hearts and learn how to love unconditionally, without lust, fantasy, or neediness ~ to love for the radiant joy of simply loving, without expecting a thing in return. To increase our capacity for unconditional love we focus on its components:
(1) practicing forgiveness to free the heart and mind from excessive burdens so that we can experience this moment anew;
(2) practicing acceptance and understanding and seeing all beings as part of the whole;
(3) cherishing life by doing no harm, alleviating suffering, appreciating and valuing what we have, and generously giving to others;
(4) practicing compassion and empathy in order to open our hearts to the suffering of others;
(5) practicing warmth and kindness by being kinder, gentler, and more loving to those around us; and
(6) practicing joy by recognizing that life is a miracle to be celebrated.
The path of joy is the path of open-heartedness ~ the path of a heart filled with love. So smile. Make somebody happy. Make yourself happy. Learn to love. Spread love. Be love. You’ll love it. (p. 151)
Written for anyone who wants to connect with the sacred, this book offers practical advice for incorporating the spiritual into our everyday lives.
May all peace, blessings, good fortune, and delight be yours.
Aah . . . that’s better!
Our essential nature, like the wateriness of water, does not change. What changes is our capacity to share that essential nature with the world.
No Smart Phone Required July 31, 2014Posted by nrhatch in Gratitude, Humor, Mindfulness, Synchronicity & Mystery.
Tags: Gratitude, Humor, Mindfulness, Mystery, Synchronicity
After recounting a story of no import to this tale, I launched into a German accent: “Und zen, vhat ve have here iz . . . “
I often parody and parrot voices ~ French, English, Southern, Joysey, Longysland, Irish, Scottish, Bahston, Canadian, Monty Python, etc.
German, however, is NOT in my usual repertoire.
BFF stared at me.
I stopped talking (since I didn’t really know where I was headed anyway) and said, “what’s up with the look?”
He laughed, “You’re a mind reader . . . with a very bad German accent to boot.”
“Why do you say that?’
“Seconds before you switched from speaking in your normal voice to your still-needs-work German accent, I had a passing thought: Who wouldn’t want to chat with my little Einstein?“
“Yup. As soon as I thought Einstein, you switched gears to German.”
“Cool! I’m a mind reader . . . AND a little Einstein! “
This is NOT the first time I’ve picked up on one of BFF’s thoughts. And I trust it won’t be the last.
It’s always fun to get a wink from the Universe reminding me that we are all connected to the World Wide Web . . . even if we don’t own a Smart Phone.
Aah . . . that’s better!
Embracing Opportunities July 30, 2014Posted by nrhatch in Gratitude, Happiness, Mindfulness, People.
Tags: Gratitude, Happiness, Kindness, Mindfulness, People
I don’t believe that we have an *obligation* to help every single person we encounter.
I do believe that there is an *opportunity* to help every single person we encounter.
Every. Single. Person.
Kindness echoes. Compassion fills our bucket, drop by drop.
* Do not overlook any good actions, thinking they are of no benefit; even tiny drops of water in the end will fill a huge vessel. ~ The Buddha
Aah . . . that’s better!
Why Are You So Annoyed? July 29, 2014Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Life Balance, Mindfulness, People.
Tags: Happiness, Life Balance, Mindfulness, People
Sometimes. But not always.
Other times our annoyance is for other reasons entirely:
* I get annoyed (to use a gentle word) with animal abuse, child abuse, and elderly abuse because those actions are morally wrong, not because I share the abuse trait with abusers.
* I get annoyed at bullies and line cutters and liars and cheats and polluters and litterers because I am acting as “unpaid advocate” for the “little guy” whose rights they are trampling.
* I get annoyed when people are late, time and time again, not because I share that trait, but because they are being selfish. In essence, they are saying that their time is more important than mine.
A flicker of annoyance, standing alone, does not always mean that the object of our annoyance is acting as a mirror for something we need to work on.
As Don noted in The Clowns Around Us, there are those who hijack what could have been genuine heartfelt productive discussions by deflecting, rather than reflecting.
Instead of staying on point, they derail the intended conversation with a joke or off-color remark.
Saying, in essence, “Look at ME!”
I see any number of people who don’t share that trait getting annoyed when someone presses the *disconnect* button on an interesting exchange.
As noted in the comment thread on Don’s post (well worth a read), many of us are starved for genuine conversation and connection in our daily lives.
We long for opportunities to discuss matters of genuine import, to engage in the civilized exchange of ideas, and to offer compassion to those in pain.
So we may feel a flicker of annoyance when someone derails the exchange.
Once noted, we must decide whether to take affirmative action or “let it go” and get on with the day.
The third option (stewing in our own juices while doing nothing to change the situation) is almost always a non-productive use of time.
Aah . . . that’s better!
Am I Showing My Age Bias? July 27, 2014Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Health & Wellness, Humor, Mindfulness.
Tags: Ego, Happiness, Health, Humor, Mindfulness, Spirit, Wellness
Poets and Writers sent the following Fiction Prompt a few days ago:
Some people slow down in their golden years, taking it easy and enjoying the family and friends gathered around them in the comfort of their community, while others try to continue to live like their younger selves.
This week, write a story about an older person who still has the mindset and physical stamina of a twenty-something. How does this affect her interactions with her peers? What are her secrets? Is she one of those people who wishes to live forever, or does she simply make a habit of staying healthy?
Think about how a person’s biological age and true age are related and what happens when they are in conflict.
As I read “what are her secrets,” I sensed a dose of age bias on the prompter’s part ~ an unspoken message that continuing to “live like [our] younger selves” should be the goal of our golden years.
Why? Wasn’t that the job of our younger selves?
What’s wrong with slowing down and taking it easy, while enjoying family, friends, the comfort of community . . . and the occasional cigar?
Do we need to head to the clubs for drinking, dancing, and revelry on Friday and Saturday nights, staying out ’til the cock crows, in order to crow about it to our peers?
Is there a continued benefit to waking with hung-over head on Saturday and Sunday mornings? If so, I missed the memo.
I am delighted I no longer have the mindset of a twenty-something. At that age, I was not nearly as content as I am these days.
There’s a line in Desiderata that I love: “Take kindly the counsel of years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.”
I agree with that sentiment . . . One Hundred Percent!
The daily decisions I face are made with accumulated wisdom. I can’t think of a single one my present self would defer to my twenty-something self . . . not on matters of fashion, food, movies, books, bars, clubs, or how to spend my leisure time.
That said, having the physical stamina of a twenty-something would rock!
Aah . . . that’s better!
If you knew an “older person” with the mindset of a twenty-something, would you want to know his secret?
Or would you encourage him to get counseling?