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It’s Curtains for Coffee July 18, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Humor, Special Events.
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32 comments

Last month, the South Florida Museum partnered up to present a play in the planetarium, preceded by dessert and coffee in the atrium, PLUS a sneak peak at its exhibit on Coffee.

I don’t have any photos from the play because they asked us to “Please Refrain from Photography.”

I don’t have any photos of the Blonde Banana Brownie because I ate it.

I do have a few snaps to share from the Coffee exhibit . . .

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Harvesting coffee is labor intensive because the beans are hand-picked . . .

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Beans must be processed the day of harvest to remove the hull . . .

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Goats get buzzed off coffee beans (no roasting required) . . .

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Coffee beans are shipped in burlap bags with unique artwork . . .

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Through the ages, we’ve developed many coffee accoutrements . . .

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Because we “heart” coffee . . .

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This sack seems to say “Rise and Shine” . . .

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But this one says it all . . .

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Aah . . . that’s better!

One of the Best Things I’ve Eaten This Year July 17, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Special Events, Vegetarian Recipes.
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60 comments

On our 30th Anniversary, we went out for lunch and ordered one of the best things I’ve eaten all year:

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Tempura Battered Asparagus with shaved Parmigiana Reggiano

On my umpteenth Birthday, we went out for Happy Hour and ordered another winner of an indulgence:

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Caramel Macademia Nut Cheesecake

Here’s the Birthday Girl before sharing 2 appetizers and a decadent dessert:

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And here’s the Birthday Girl after:

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Yup.  Still smiling.  Without a trace of guilt.

Aah . . . that’s better!

What’s the best thing you’ve eaten this year?

Hey, That Prickles! July 16, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Home & Garden, Vegetarian Recipes.
Tags: , , , ,
26 comments

In April, I shared Our Budding Pineapple Plantation with you . . .

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Since then, our lone pineapple has continued to grow . . .

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With a rather majestic looking crown . . .

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Aah . . . that’s better!

Care to share any good pineapple recipes?

Related post:  Pineapple Chutney

1 + 1 = 1 July 15, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Amazing Animals, Animal Welfare, Food & Drink, Nature.
Tags: , , , ,
48 comments

When one hawk . . .

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Invites one snake . . .

To breakfast.

As breakfast.

Tree-Frog-PerchedWe note that, math be damned, 1 + 1 =1 :

1 + 1 = 1 less snake

1 + 1 = 1 happy hawk

The other morning, we looked out on the back deck and noticed a hawk having breakfast.

Grasped in its talons was a poor wee snake.

When the busboy cleared the table, the sole trace of the snake was its spinal cord . . . draped over the deck piling like a discarded napkin.

Aah . . . that’s the way of the world.

Related posts:  It’s a Snake Eat Frog World * Heron Does Not Live By Fish Alone

The Ugly Guy’s Guide to Dating Hot Chicks July 14, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, People.
Tags: , , , ,
25 comments

Years ago while collaborating to write 101 Things Every Man Should Know How to Do, I sketched out “The Ugly Guy’s Guide to Dating Hot Chicks.”

Since it didn’t make the cut (i.e., it landed on the cutting room floor), it’s been sitting around in draft form ever since.

I picked it out of the draft folder the other day, brushed it off, and knew with certainty that I would never, ever, not in a million years, want to revise the Ugly Guy’s Guide into anything more than it is.

But it seems selfish to keep it under lock and key when there are guys out there wanting to emulate Billy Bob and Lyle by landing a hot chick.

Here are the top 7 Tips for Dating Hot Chicks:

(1) Be very, very rich.  Or famous.  Or both.  Having buckets of cash at your disposal is often enough, standing alone, to land a hot chick.

(2) Self-confidence is attractive.  Before you head out the door each day, remind yourself that “you’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and doggoneit people like you.”

(3)  Don’t lose hope.  You are not alone.  There are lots of ugly guys out there who date and even marry hot chicks like Angelina Jolie and Julia Roberts.  You can be one of them.  All you need is hope, perseverance, this guide, and gobs of cash (see tip #1).

(4) Don’t read advice like this in front of girls you want to impress.  If a hot chick sees you reading this, toss it aside and say in disgust,  “What the hell!  I don’t need to read this shit!”

(5) Frequent dark bars.  Bring wads of cash.  Buy drinks for hot chicks until their eyes cannot focus, then make your best moves.

Grumpy gus(6) If you strike out in bars, switch gears.  Go to an AA meeting.  Introduce yourself and explain that you drink because you are ugly.  Wait for the supportive “You’re not ugly” from anyone.  Augment your “Yes, I am” with a deep sigh.  As women join the chorus of “you are not ugly,” pick the best looking one and ask her for coffee after the meeting.

Still nothing?

(7) Don’t be shallow.  Beauty is only skin deep and fades with age.  Focus on inner qualities.  Remember you can always drink your ugly date pretty.

Aah . . . that’s better!

People Watching: Food Courts July 13, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Mindfulness, People.
Tags: , , , ,
26 comments

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes; he is 82. We decided to grab a bite at the food court.

As we ate, he honed in on a teenager sitting at the table next to us. The teenager had spiked hair in a wide variety of colors: green, red, orange, and blue.

My dad kept staring at him, without saying anything.

Annoyed, the teenager sarcastically asked, “What’s the matter, old man, never done anything wild in your life?”

Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food.

Dear old dad returned the volley with ease, “Got drunk and had sex with a peacock once . . . I was just wondering if you were my kid.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  e-mail from an unknown author.

Don’t Mess With Old People July 12, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Happiness, Humor, Joke.
Tags: , , ,
37 comments

Two businessmen in a new shopping mall were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be shop . . .

As yet, the shop wasn’t ready, with only a few shelves set up.

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Gregory said, “Any minute now some pensioner is going to walk by, put their face to the window, and ask what we’re selling.”

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious old woman walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked:

“What are you selling here?”

In a voice dripping with sarcasm, Alfred replied, “We’re selling ass-holes.”

Without skipping a beat, the old dear nodded, “Must be doing well.  Only two left.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

 Source:  e-mail from unknown author (sent by Granny1947)

This Is Brilliant! July 11, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Happiness, Humor, Music & Dance.
Tags: , , ,
32 comments

I clicked on this without expecting much in the way of entertainment value:

Surprise!

Aah . . . that’s better!

What did you think about the sound of that Carrot Clarinet?

10 Things I Know About You July 10, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Blogs & Blogging, Fun & Games, Humor, People.
Tags: , , , ,
39 comments

Huey,-Dewey-And-LouieBlogging is a great way to get to know people from all around the globe.

From comment threads and posts, we learn about differences in food, culture, climate, and opinion.

But we also see similarities.

Here are 10 Things I Know About You:

1) You are reading this.

Grumpy gus2)  You are human.  Or a cyborg.  My bet is on human.

3) You can’t breathe through your nose when your tongue is out.

Put your tongue back in your mouth!  

That’s rude!

4) You can’t count all the hairs on your body.

5) You can’t wash your eyes with soap.

6) You can’t say the letter ”P” without moving your lips.

7) You just attempted to do it.

Donald-Duck-Laughing9) You are laughing at yourself.

10) You skipped No. 8.

11) You just checked to see if there is a No. 8.

So . . . how’d I do?

Did I get any wrong?

E-mail from unknown author (sent by Granny 1947)

Shifting Priorities July 9, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Humor, Joke, People.
Tags: , , , ,
24 comments

Tree-Frog-PerchedAn old man was walking in the forest when he heard by his feet a very weak voice.  He bent down to look and saw that the voice came from a little frog.

“I’m a beautiful and voluptuous princess, skilled in all the carnal pleasures of love. An evil queen, envious of my charms, turned me into a frog.  If you kiss me I will once again be a fair maiden, and will provide you with all the joys and delights of my ardent lust.”

The old man picked up the little frog and put her into his pocket.

Bewildered, the frog asked, “Aren’t you going to kiss me?”

“Nope,” replied the old man. “ At my age, it’s more fun to have a talking frog in my pocket than a sex maniac in my bed.”

E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

Related post:  A Talking Frog & Other Engineering Jokes

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