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Happy Birthday, Minkey! September 30, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Humor, People, Special Events.
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36 comments

Mom turns 85 today!

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Let’s do the math:

85 years x 365 days x 24 hours x 60 minutes = 44,467,600 minutes (give or take thirty thousand minutes to account for Leap Years).

Of those 44 million minutes, mom remembers, oh, let’s say, the last 10 or 20 clearly.  The farther back she goes, the fuzzier it gets.

If I showed her this photo (taken 20 or so years ago), she’d recognize the out-of-focus faces but it wouldn’t help her to recall anything about the day.

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Her faded long-term memory makes for some interesting conversations.  She remembers she has four kids, but the nomenclature is off at times.

* One day, she wanted to talk to my brother’s wife about something.  Instead of asking for Joan by name, she asked my brother, “Do you know where your mother is?”

Doug kept a straight face and said, “Yeah.  I’m looking right at her.”  (I give him kudos for resisting the urge to reply, “Oh, mom?  She’s lost in space.”)

* Another time, my sister and her family flew from FL to CO for a visit.  Mom recognized my sister, but not my sister’s husband, Mike (who’s been in the family for 25+ years).

At one point during the visit, mom asked Mike, “Where do you live?”
Mike replied, “In Orlando.”

Mom perked up, “My daughter lives in Orlando . . . do you know her?”
Mike nodded,  “Yeah, I married her.”

Surprised, mom asked, “When?”

* Several times, mom has asked me what happened to dad.  After I fill her in on his final illness and death, she nods, “So that’s it . . . he’s dead?”

Yup.  That’s it.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MINKEY!

On the plus side, since she is seldom pulled into memories of what once was, she finds it easy to stay situated in the Present Moment.

The Eternal NOW.  The only place happiness resides.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Blue Crab Bay September 27, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Nature, People.
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32 comments

Wikipedia ~ Chesapeake Bay (in Public Domain)

A native of the Eastern Shore of Maryland got stopped by a game warden as he was leaving the bay with an ice chest full of live blue crabs and bay water.

The game warden asked the man, “Do you have a license to catch those crabs?”

“Naw, my friend, I ain’t got no license. These here are my pet crabs.”

“Pet crabs?”

“Yep. Every night I take these crabs down to the bay and let ‘em swim around for a while.   Then I whistle and they jump right back into this ice chest and I take ‘em home.”

“That’s a bunch of Bull!   Crabs can’t do that!”

The man looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, “It’s the truth.   I’ll show you.   It really works.”

“Okay, I’ve GOT to see this!”

The man poured the crabs into the river and stood and waited.

After several minutes, the game warden turned to him and said,  “Well?”

“Well, what?” said the man.

“When are you going to call them back?”

“Call who back?”

“The crabs!”

“WHAT crabs?”

Folks from the Eastern Shore of Maryland may not be as smart as some, but they ain’t as dumb as many.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Inspiration:  e-mail from unknown author

The Blind Leading The Blind September 17, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Humor, Life Lessons, People.
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55 comments

IMGP1472aI read a post written by a twenty-something someone who flew halfway around the world and then spent his first three weeks in Thailand drinking Buckets of Beer at night and being hung-over during the day.

He suggested that we all add Travel to our Bucket List . . . to maintain life balance.

Dude!  Are you sure you’re the best person to give us advice on maintaining life balance?

Another twenty-something recommended travel as one of the best ways to learn about ourselves and our priorities.

What did he learn?  That the highlight of his trip to South America was his excitement at the thought of returning home.

Before blindly following advice from others, it’s a good idea to make sure they know where they are going first.

Aah . . . that’s better!

If you are headed for the mountain top, why do you care what the people in the valley are doing? ~ Guy Finley (The Secret of Letting Go)

Related Post:  The Extrapolation Temptation

Nothing Knowledge September 5, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Life Balance, Mindfulness, People.
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46 comments

170px-PuckCoverMuch of what we read on the internet and watch on TV is fluff.  

And nonsense.

We think we’re “in the know” if we keep tabs on the lives of the rich and famous on our Smart Phones . . . while monitoring the strokes of the U.S. Open on our iPads . . . while catching breaking news on TV:

Some jury somewhere reached a verdict about someone or something.

Even if none of these things impact our lives in a direct way, we refuse to remain in the dark.

When a celebrity dies, has a wardrobe malfunction, or twerks in someone’s face, tabloids toss out sordid details to boost readership.

Instead of barking out, TMI!!!, we emulate Pavlov’s dogs (or seals training at Sea World) and eat up this “nothing knowledge.”

It’s free!  So why not?

Because there is no such thing as a free lunch.

The vortex created by this nothing knowledge, the black hole of social media manipulation, distracts us from our stated priorities ~ our friends, our families, our health and well-being, our dreams.

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What we put into our mouths is with us only a short while before making an exit through the back door.  What we put into our minds may haunt those hallowed halls forever.

Maybe one day, in the not-so-foreseeable future, we’ll evolve past the point of ingesting anything and everything tossed our way.

Until that day arrives, do your best to steer clear of whine fests, pity parties, and other non-productive time sucks that put your tizzy in a tail spin.

Aah . . . that’s better!

* Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma ~ which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. ~ Steve Jobs

* It’s amazing the things we find to do . . . to avoid doing amazing things.

* Time is our most valuable and irreplaceable commodity ~ a bank account which mandates daily withdrawals, prohibits deposits, and pays dividends when we spend it wisely.

Beyond A Reasonable Doubt September 3, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Books & Movies, Fiction, People.
Tags: , , ,
18 comments

Beyond a doubt, Beyond A Reasonable Doubt is not reasonable . . .

Many facets of the contrived plot don’t make sense because people wouldn’t act that way in the real world.  The performances aren’t anything to get excited about.  And the timetable of the movie is way off.

That said, we enjoyed the film’s predictable twists, turns, and straight-aways.

The basic premise:  An investigative reporter sets himself up as the prime suspect in a murder by fabricating circumstantial evidence after the fact to boost his career and expose a corrupt district attorney who is fabricating D.N.A. evidence after the fact to boost his conviction rate.

Life is full of pot holes on the journey from Here to There.  This film emulates life.  Navigate around the plot holes and you’ll reach the beginning in the end.

Aah . . . that’s better!

 

O Cannabis! September 1, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Bulletin Board, Nature, People, Politics.
Tags: , , , , ,
38 comments

In Colorado, pot smokers no longer have to race past heroin addicts in dark alleys to buy a random bag of weed with a dubious pedigree.

Instead, they visit legal dispensaries to choose between various varietals of marijuana.

And may even get advice on planning a gourmet meal with cannabis as the center point . . .

Definitely a step in the right direction.

Even those who don’t imbibe will benefit as additional states join Colorado’s lead, shifting antiquated thinking from prohibition to legalization.

Instead of spending vast sums of money to arrest, convict, and jail people for getting high, state and local governments will rake in tax revenues.

In California, a single pot store in Mendocino County paid $300,000 in sales tax to the state and twice that amount in federal income tax.

In addition, tourism dollars in progressive states like Colorado are apt to increase as people drift in to admire the shifting landscape through a Purple Haze . . . or a Rocky Mountain High.

Aah . . . that’s better!

 

Fifty Dollars August 30, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Life Balance, People.
Tags: , ,
28 comments

Dollar-BillsMorris and his wife Esther went to the State Fair every year, and every year Morris would say, “Esther, I’d like to ride in that helicopter.”

Esther always replied, “I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.”

One year, Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, “Esther, I’m 85 years old. If I don’t ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.”

To this, Esther replied, “Morris that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.”

250px-New_Orleans_City_of_Old_Romance_and_New_Opportunity_Crop_p_23_MoneybagsThe pilot overheard the couple and said, “Folks I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word, I won’t charge you! But if you say one word, it’s fifty dollars.”

Morris and Esther agreed and up they went.

The pilot put the craft through all kinds of maneuvers, but not a word was heard.  Up, down, back and forth, even sideways, he did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word.

When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, “By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn’t. I’m impressed!”

Morris replied, “Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but you know, fifty dollars is fifty dollars!”

Source:  e-mail from unknown author

You Don’t Know Jack August 27, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Books & Movies, Health & Wellness, Life Balance, People.
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30 comments

Watched another thought-provoking film this week ~ You Don’t Know Jack.

The documentary addressed the efforts of Jack Kevorkian to assist terminally ill patients to end their lives with dignity.

He believed that we should have the freedom to choose to die when we’ve had enough . . . without having to shoot ourselves, dowse ourselves with gasoline, slash our wrists, strangle ourselves, wrestle crocodiles, or dive off buildings or bridges without a safety net.

Just breathe . . . relax . . . and check out in peace.

Aah . . . that’s better!

 

A Scottish Love Story August 23, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Humor, Joke, People.
Tags: , , , ,
26 comments

220px-The_Love_of_Zero,_35mm_film_Robert_Florey1928A young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, gazing out over the loch.

For several minutes they sat silently.

Then the girl looked at the boy and said, “A penny for your thoughts, Angus.”

“Well, uh, I was thinkin… perhaps it’s aboot time for a wee kiss.”

The girl blushed, leaned over, and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.

Minutes passed and the girl spoke again. “Another penny for your thoughts, Angus?”

“Well, uh, I was thinkin’ perhaps it’s noo aboot time for a wee cuddle.”

The girl blushed, leaned over, and cuddled him for a few seconds.

228px-Eugene_de_Blaas_A_Pensive_MomentThe two turned again to the loch.

After a while, she whispered, “Another penny for your thoughts, Angus.”

The young man glanced down with a furled brow, “Well, noo, my thoughts are a wee bit more serious.”

“Really?” said the lass in a whisper.

“Aye,” said the lad, nodding.

The girl looked away and bit her lip in anticipation of the ultimate request.

Reaching out, he turned her face to his and said, “Dae ye nae think it’s aboot time ye paid me the first two pennies?”

Och . . . that’s a wee bit better!

Source: e-mail from an unknown author (sent by Granny1947)

Sometimes It’s Hard To “Come Clean” August 18, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Life Lessons, Mindfulness, People.
Tags: , , , ,
49 comments

Have you ever overheard someone recount an event (of which you have first hand knowledge) by shading the truth, more than a little, to place themselves in a better light?

Claiming the role of blameless victim to a vicious attack, rather than recognizing their role as instigator or co-participant?

Maybe it’s the attorney in me, but when someone shares a sob story that sounds one-sided, lopsided, or far-fetched, I do not offer blind support.

I ask a few questions first, to ascertain whether the story is factual or fictional.

Once upon a time, we cautioned our young niece not to provoke our cat or she would get scratched.

Ignoring the warning, she backed Jazz into a corner and reached out to grab him.

He scratched her.

Eyes brimming with tears, she exclaimed, “Jazz scratched me!”

We examined the scratch ~ a glancing blow issued as a “step away from the cat” warning.

“What were you doing when he scratched you?”

“Nothing.”

“You were just sitting there, minding your own business, and Jazz ran up to you and scratched you for no reason?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Really?  You weren’t trying to pick him up?  Or pet him? Or follow him around?  You were just sitting still and he ran over to you?”

Hesitation.

“Well . . . he was under the table, and I just wanted to pet him, and when I got close to him, he scratched me.  But I wasn’t going to hurt him!  I didn’t mean to bother him.  I just wanted to pet him.”

{{Hugs}}

James-the-CatSometimes it’s hard to “come clean” and see our part in the controversy.

Our Egos don’t want to admit the part we played in escalating situations from peaceful co-existence to hissing, scratching, tail-pulling, or worse.

But it’s worth it when we do.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Related posts:  Is Your Soul Yearning For Less Drama (Find Your Middle Ground) * You Can’t Handle The Truth

 

 

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