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Don’t Mess With Nuns July 26, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Humor, Joke, Life Lessons.
Tags: , , , ,
56 comments

Wikipedia ~ Saint Scholastica

A private Catholic school faced a unique problem.

A number of 12-year-old girls had started using lipstick.  After putting it on, they would press their lips to the bathroom mirror, leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night the maintenance man removed them; the next day the girls put them back.

Sister Mary decided something had to be done.

She called the girls to the bathroom and explained that the lip prints caused extra work for the custodian, who had to clean the mirrors.

The girls yawned.

To press her point home,  Sister Mary asked the maintenance man to show the girls the effort required to clean the mirrors each night.

He took a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror.

Problem solved!

There are teachers and there are educators!

Don’t mess with nuns, they are wicked smart!

Aah . . . that’s better!

E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

Turning Boulders Into Pebbles July 8, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Life Balance, Life Lessons, Mindfulness.
Tags: , , ,
42 comments

170px-Alice_par_John_Tenniel_02Life is full of challenges and obstacles.

Some are boulders; others are mere pebbles on the path.  And some boulders transform into pebbles if we change the way we view them:

* Do what you can with what you have where you are.

Perhaps you don’t have time to sort through ALL your books tonight to select extraneous tomes to donate to the Library for its Annual Book Sale . . . tomorrow.

Fair enough.

But maybe you can nibble away at your collection by selecting ONE book a day to donate to next year’s sale.

One book a day may not sound like much, but it equates to 30 books a month and 360 books a year.

I can hear your overflowing book shelves breathing lighter already.

200px-March-hare* Hardship is inevitable, misery is optional.

Perhaps you can no longer eat everything you used to eat.  Maybe you’re on a salt-restricted or gluten-free diet eyeing a slice of pizza.

Instead of focusing on what you can’t eat (which will add to your suffering), focus on the delicious tastes and textures of the food you can eat.

Like chocolate!

And if that doesn’t work . . . seize the day and eat the pizza!

Life is short.  You could get hit by a bus next week.

Or drowned in a tea pot.

220px-Alice_par_John_Tenniel_27

Make the most of this moment.

Aah . . . that’s better!

How often do you transform boulders into pebbles by viewing obstacles as opportunities?

Related post:  Pizza Shopping (Coffee Kat’s Blog ~ Kate)

Can You Pass This Quick Quiz? July 7, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Humor, Life Lessons, Mindfulness.
Tags: , , ,
37 comments

Frog-CircusSomething to keep those “aging” grey cells active!

The Questions:

1. Johnny ‘s mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May.

What was the third child ‘s name?

2. The clerk at the butcher shop is five feet ten inches tall and wears size 13 sneakers.  What does he weigh?

3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?

4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?

5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly?

Xmas-Cat6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer.

How is this possible?

7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg.  Why not?

8. If you are running a race and pass the person in 2nd place, what place are you in now?

9. Which is correct to say: “The yolk of the egg are white” or “The yolk of the egg is white”?

get-attachment

10. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?

Tree-Frog-PerchedaThe Answers ~ score 10 points for each correct answer:

1. Johnny’s mother had three children. The first child was named April The second child was named May. What was the third child ‘s name?

Answer: Johnny

2. The clerk at the butcher shop is five feet ten inches tall, and wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?

Answer: Meat

3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?

Answer: Mt. Everest

4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?

Answer: None

5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly?

Answer: Incorrectly

Huey,-Dewey-And-Louie

6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer.

How is this possible?

Answer: Billy lives in the Southern Hemisphere

(LOTS of my blogging buddies got this one right!)

7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?

Answer: You can’t take pictures with a wooden leg. You need a camera or smart phone to take pictures.

Jogging8.  If you are running a race, and you pass the person in 2nd place, what place are you in now?

Answer: Second place.

9. Which is correct to say: “The yolk of the egg are white” or “The yolk of the egg is white”?

Answer: Neither.  The yolk of the egg is yellow.

10. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?

Answer: One big haystack.

Aah . . . that’s better!

How did you do?  Are your gray cells still in the prime of life?

E-mail from unknown author (sent by Granny 1947)

 

Privacy Is Dead July 2, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Life Lessons, Mindfulness, People.
Tags: , ,
58 comments

2014-05-05 11-54-51_0043Privacy is Dead.

Government agencies monitor and record communications relayed via Skype, cell phone, e-mail, and text.

Facebook minions eavesdrop on our “private” messages.

Hackers hack into our cyber accounts.

What can we do?  Stop texting?  Stop calling?  Abandon the world wide web?

In these digital days, our secrets are not safe in cyber space.

Once shared, they’re out there.

If you need to have a heart-to-heart with someone, you might want to do it the old-fashioned way.

Face-to-face.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Related post:  Writing Fiction meets NSA Surveillance (Eric J. Baker)

Do you monitor your words in cyber space?  Do you wonder who’s listening?

“Whenever you do a thing, act as if all the world were watching.” ~ Thomas Jefferson (1743 – 1826)

Where’s Your Stuff? June 27, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Life Balance, Life Lessons, Simplify Your Life.
Tags: , ,
44 comments

220px-OldBeggar1Some years back, a tourist from the United States visited the home of a Rabbi and saw a simple room furnished with books, a table, and a bench.

Astonished, the visitor asked, “Rabbi, where’s your stuff?”

The Rabbi replied, “Where’s yours?”

“Mine?  I’m just passing through.  I’m just a visitor here.”

“So am I.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Related post:  Lightening The Load (SuziCate) * Overlook (365 Simplify)

Source: e-mail from unknown author

Homeward Bound June 23, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Life Lessons, People, Special Events.
Tags: , , , ,
27 comments

Continued from . . . Things Don’t Go According To Hoyle

Despite the fire at the headquarters building, which burned up discharge dates and orders, dad received word that he was heading home.

On October 12th, he wrote:

“Day before yesterday we received official word that we would report to the depot on the 13th.  There was some hustle and some bustle as we scurried about the office in an attempt to close all cases as soon as possible.  With such a goal as we had, it was not difficult.  By evening we were free of all investigative work.

That evening, Swinnerton and I sat around and discussed with pride some of our most interesting cases and the reports on which we were complimented.  We then realized that our year here had not been wasted.  We had gained a great deal of knowledge and had had a great experience.  The boat leaves Korea on 20 Oct. and is supposed to hit Frisco on 8 Nov.  Hope to see you about a month after you receive this letter.”

Wikipedia ~ Victory Ships (in Public Domain)

On October 14th:

“I expect to be here at the depot the rest of the week.  This is really a vacation except that there is not much to do for recreation.”

“Since I have been here at the depot, I have met about 15 persons that were in my company during basic.  Most of them are PFC or Corporal ~ they are a little envious of my stripes.  It is hard to believe that I am actually on the way home.  Looking back, it doesn’t seem such a long time since I enlisted.”

U.S. Army Technical Sergeant Rank Insignia, in use 1942-1955 (in Public Domain)

What a difference a few stripes make!

On October 17th, to Marjorie:

“When I came to the depot I had to put on my tech sgt. stripes.  They really do wonders.”

“When the men fall out for details, all top three grades are excused to do whatever they want.”

“Out of the 1300 men leaving on the General Patrick, there are only about 10 first sgts., 10 tech sgts., and 15 staff sgts.”

“If we don’t get put in charge of details on the ship, we can loaf all the way.”

“I’m hoping to be one of the fellows to just loaf.”

On October 19th, to Marjorie:

“We have wonderful washrooms here in the depot.  That is ~ if you like to wash and shave in ice water without a mirror and don’t mind not having any place to hang a towel or lay your toilet articles, and if you don’t mind standing in about two inches of water on the floor.”

“Tomorrow morning we get up at 3 o’clock and get ready to get on the train that takes us some 40 miles to the boat.  By this time tomorrow I will probably be getting on the boat.  Thank goodness my time in this country has nearly come to an end.”

“Yesterday, we were given numbers for the order in which we board the ship tomorrow.  Out of 1300+ men, I got number 4.  That means that I will be about the first to board the boat.”

“With the large camera and several books and boxes that I am carrying, my duffel bag is so full I have to wear an extra jacket or two all the time in order to get it closed.  What a lot of fun I’m going to have carrying it half a mile to the train.”

Dad left Korea in 1947, three years before the start of the Korean War in 1950.

_0001d

Aah . . . that’s better!

After leaving Korea, dad obtained an electrical engineering degree from Northeastern University in Boston, accepted a job with Bell Labs in New Jersey, met mom, got married, had four kids, got his master’s degree, assisted with the launch of Telestar, traveled for work and pleasure, and enjoyed many hobbies (photography, woodworking, sailing, canoeing, hiking, gardening, camping, ham radio, reading).

camping1a

Dad died two years ago today after celebrating Father’s Day with his 4 kids.

IMGP2681c

And his 9 grandkids (not all pictured).

New+Jersy+Reunion+-+June+2012+(31)b

I’ve enjoyed sharing dad’s words (before he became a dad) with you.

Bert, That Bloke From Maintenance June 21, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Humor, Joke, Life Lessons.
Tags: , ,
44 comments

Donald-DuckaA toothpaste factory had a problem. They sometimes shipped empty boxes without a tube of toothpaste inside. This challenged their perceived quality with buyers and distributors.

The CEO assembled his top people. They decided to hire an external engineering company to solve the empty boxes problem.

The project followed the usual process:  budget and project sponsor allocated, request for proposals, and third-parties selected.

Calvin-gots-an-IdeaSix months (and £2 million) later they had a fantastic solution – on time, on budget, and high quality. Everyone in the project was pleased.

They installed a high-tech precision scale.  Whenever a toothpaste box weighed less than it should: a bell sounded, lights flashed, and the line stopped.

Someone would walk over, remove the defective box, and press a button to re-start the line.

As a result of the new package monitoring process, no empty boxes shipped out of the factory.  With no more customer complaints, the CEO felt the £2 million was well spent.

Donald-Duck-LazyAt the end of the first month, the CEO reviewed the line statistics report and discovered the number of empty boxes picked up by the scale in the first week was consistent with projections, however, the next three weeks were zero!

The estimated rate should have been closer to a dozen boxes a day.

Puzzled, the CEO went down to the factory floor, viewed the part of the line where the precision scale was installed, and observed that just ahead of the £2 million solution sat a £20 desk fan blowing empty boxes off the belt and into a bin.

Mickey-OKHe found the line supervisor and asked, “What’s with the fan?”

“Oh, that,” the supervisor replied, “Bert, the bloke from maintenance, put it there because he got tired of walking over, removing the box, and re-starting the line every time the bloody bell rang.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source: e-mail from unknown author (sent by Granny1947)

 

Things Don’t Go According To Hoyle June 16, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Life Lessons, People, Special Events.
Tags: , , ,
31 comments

Continued from . . . RATS!

A year in the Army was enough for dad; he chose not to re-enlist and his letters began to focus on his longing to be home.

On June 19th, he wrote:

“In another week I will have been in the army a year.  I think they expect me to re-enlist.  How mistaken they are.  I guess I might be sorry that I came in  the army if I had ended up in the Infantry.  As it is, I certainly want to get home, but I will have some good experience behind me, the G.I. Bill of Rights, had a chance to travel, etc.”

Wikipedia ~ Whist (in Public Domain)

“It is unofficial and I don’t want you to count on it, but there is a possibility of getting out a little early.  A law has been enacted which allows 18 month enlistees to be discharged up to 60 days prior to time of normal discharge.  If full advantage were taken of this I could be on my way home in two months.”

“Rumors have it that a greater number of ships than usual are coming to Korea during the next two months.  My guess is that I will be home a little early.”

“Don’t let anyone overestimate this information and be disappointed if things don’t go according to Hoyle.”

On July 6th, to Margaret:

“I am still reading some books but I am getting tired of that too.  I am going to be glad to get home.”

After a quick trip to China, he wrote to Marjorie on August 30th:

“I don’t know whether you have received it but while I was in China I picked up a small item and mailed it to you.  I believe that I owe you a graduation present so you can consider the Chinese souvenir as such.”

“Just when do you start college?  When you get started you had better write and tell me what subjects you are taking.  That is if I don’t leave for home first.  It looks as though I will leave here for the states in about a month.”

On September 7th, he wrote his father:

“Right now I have charge of a case which involves some influential members of the South Korea Labor Party (old Communist Party which changed its name) in an attempted mass murder of Rightests.”

“I have been handling the case for several weeks and in a few days I expect to turn in a 30-35 page report.”

Overall, he felt that his time in the service was time well spent.  In a letter dated September 22nd to his father:

“In one week, I will have served fifteen months in the Army.  Naturally, it has seemed a long time and I have been waiting anxiously for the day when I could again throw my G.I. clothing into my duffel bag, throw the bag over my shoulder, and travel (in the opposite direction) the same route I traveled nearly one year ago.”

“However, I cannot help but feel that my decision to enlist in the army was the correct one for me to make.  During the past year I have been able to gain knowledge and background practically impossible for me to obtain in a similar period had I chosen to remain in college.  Instead of interrupting my education, this time spent in the army has increased my evaluation [of the value of higher education] and has tremendously increased my zest to return to college.  It has also relieved me of the financial burden of a college education and has assured me that once I again start to college I will not have to worry that a monetary shortage could cause me to discard my plan to obtain at least one degree.”

On October 6th:

“Well I am still here in Korea, however Butler has left and Swinnerton and I expect to be on orders at any time.  The boat we expect to leave on arrives at Inchon on the 17th.”

On October 7th:

“The headquarters building of the Replacement Depot here burned down a week ago.  It was in this building that orders were cut for men going home.  Naturally, many orders were burned along with many records of discharge dates, etc.  We wondered for a few days whether this would delay our return.  As far as we can determine, we will leave at the same time we would have left anyway.”

Concludes next Monday . . . Homeward Bound!

* * *

Today is our 30th Wedding Anniversary!  If things go according to Hoyle, we’ll be out and about celebrating for some/most/all of the day.

Secretsb

Please leave a message at the . . . *BEEP*

IMGP3673b

Remember . . . Wine improves with age.  Age improves with wine.  Life improves with laughter.

Related posts:  Sailing The Maine Coast * Revel in Uncertainty * Brave New Adventures * Never Confuse an RV With an ATV

The Extrapolation Temptation June 13, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Life Lessons, Mindfulness, People, Writing & Writers.
Tags: , , , ,
50 comments

150px-Carlo_Crivelli_052Many people convince themselves that they are putting their time on the planet to good use by postulating that everyone should do as they do:

* People who read novels may feel that everyone should read novels.

* People who enjoy travel may claim that people who don’t travel are missing out on an essential element of life.

* People who have kids may feel that everyone should have kids.

* People who are married may be convinced that everyone should get married.  (Or, perhaps, that no one should.)

It’s understandable that people want to persuade themselves that they’ve made the “right” choices in life.

That’s to be expected.

But if we give in to the temptation of extrapolating from “right for us” to “right for everyone else,” we are apt to lose our footing.

Or cause others to lose theirs.

As a case in point, I don’t regret destroying dozens of journals and diaries I kept as a child, teen, and young adult.  I found the experience of shredding page after page of compulsive thinking liberating ~> letting go of the past to make room for the present.

In the almost 20 years since I relegated them to the recycling bin, I haven’t missed them once.

Shredding those pages was the right decision for me.

But I wouldn’t extrapolate from my experience to encourage others to do the same.  Because I have no idea what’s in their journals.

Maybe their journals include eloquent and elegant memories that are worth saving, whereas mine contained a litany of complaints written when I was unhappy with the state of my world.  I didn’t record wonderful moments filled with joy and delight, because I was too busy having fun at those times.

Mickey-OKOnce I realized that slogging through the pages of my past (as recorded in my now defunct journals) would be a dismal exercise in futility, removed from the uplifting journey that represents the totality of my life, I let them go and breathed a great sigh of relief!

Aah . . . that’s better!

When you know WHO you are, you know HOW to live.

Related posts:  Philip Hensher (Carol Balawyder) * I Destroyed My Best Friend (Life Penned) * 3 Things I Learned This Week * Room To Express Oneself (BB’s Blog) * Where The Flow Leads (SuziCate)

RATS! June 9, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Life Lessons, People, Politics, Special Events.
Tags: , , ,
26 comments

Continued from:  Thanks . . . But No Thanks!

During his stay in Korea, dad enjoyed interesting assignments.  When Dr. Syngman Rhee, a high ranking Korean official who later became the first President of South Korea, returned from conferring with the President and other government officials in the states, dad received the assignment of going to the airport and following the parade back to Seoul:

“Nearly all the important Rightest leaders in Korea were at the airport to greet him and I got pictures of some of them and several of Dr. Rhee and his wife who was at the airport to greet him.”  [April 23rd letter to Marjorie]

Wikipedia ~ Syngman Rhee (in Public Domain)

In a letter to his father, dated April 28th:

“Time is going quite fast.  Tomorrow makes a total of 10 months since I was sworn in.  Only eight more months, but that is plenty.  When I get home I think you will be interested to hear about some of the things I have worked on.  I can’t write about it, because all of the information is Classified, Confidential, Secret, or Top Secret.  However, you may be interested in an extract from one of the secret reports:

This headquarters wishes to commend the following agents for their tireless efforts in the conduct of investigations and on their splendid reports of same:

S/A  R.V. Butler
S/A  R.W. Hatch
S/A  A.L. Swinnerton
S/A  T. M. Greene

Butler, Swinnerton, and I spend most of our time together in the evenings and weekends.  We are all stationed here in Seoul.  I don’t know Greene as he is in one of the district offices.  It is really nice to have the officers think that you are doing a good job.”

In a letter to Aunt Lucy, dated April 29th:

“Our house is infested with rats.  In fact, they are so numerous that we sent two men to Rat Extermination school.  The other day before dinner some of us were talking about the rat problem when one of us turned around and saw a big rat sitting on one of the tables eating some bread.  About 10 minutes ago, I was sitting here in my room and a rat stuck his head out of the drawer where I keep my clothes.  I didn’t catch him.

I have a lot of work to do.  Right now I have two men in jail. Tonight I will have to work, probably until well after midnight.  However, the work is still interesting.  Only 8 months to go.  I should get to spend the last month at home.  I wish I could get home in time for deer season but I probably won’t.”

 Continued next Monday . . . Things Don’t Go According To Hoyle

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