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Par For The Course July 19, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Happiness, Humor, Joke.
Tags: , , ,
29 comments

Golf-BallThe owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.

He called her into his office and said, “Y’all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?”

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, “Everthang but my earrings.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  e-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

Don’t Mess With Old People July 12, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Happiness, Humor, Joke.
Tags: , , ,
37 comments

Two businessmen in a new shopping mall were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be shop . . .

As yet, the shop wasn’t ready, with only a few shelves set up.

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Gregory said, “Any minute now some pensioner is going to walk by, put their face to the window, and ask what we’re selling.”

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious old woman walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked:

“What are you selling here?”

In a voice dripping with sarcasm, Alfred replied, “We’re selling ass-holes.”

Without skipping a beat, the old dear nodded, “Must be doing well.  Only two left.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

 Source:  e-mail from unknown author (sent by Granny1947)

This Is Brilliant! July 11, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Happiness, Humor, Music & Dance.
Tags: , , ,
32 comments

I clicked on this without expecting much in the way of entertainment value:

Surprise!

Aah . . . that’s better!

What did you think about the sound of that Carrot Clarinet?

Cannonball! July 6, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Humor, Nature, Poetry, Travel & Leisure.
Tags: , , , , ,
21 comments

Brittle air asphixiates

A smothering blanket of humidity
Strangles every breath

Melting feet to pavement

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Stifling muggy heat
Chokes all thought

Escape plans evaporate

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Crisp gingerbread cookies
Reduced to a leathery crust

In a hot summer oven

*

**

* * *

* S~P~L~A~S~H! *

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Aah . . . that’s better!

How do you like to Beat the Heat in the sultry days of summer?

Buddhists Are Not Doing Nothing July 1, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Gratitude, Happiness, Humor, Life Balance, Mindfulness.
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44 comments

Contrary to what some think, Buddhists do not sit around doing nothing all day.

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Meditating is not nothing.  Meditating is hard work.  Getting our thoughts to settle down is no easy feat.  It’s like herding cats.

Once Buddhists finish their morning meditation, they chop wood and carry water.  Or do the laundry . . .

After enlightenment, the laundry.

But they do IT (whatever IT is) with mindful attention.

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When they peel an orange, they use all their senses to focus on its scent, texture, taste, color, and the feel of its peel.  If stray thoughts arise, intent on wandering off unchaperoned, practitioners of mindfulness rein them in and bring focus back to the task at hand.

Imagine paying attention to everything you do, say, think, see, smell, hear, touch, and taste.

All day.  Every day.

Being mindful is not nothing.  Staying present to the present of the present is hard work.  Quieting the chatter of our monkey minds is a challenge.

But it gets easier with practice.  And the rewards are great.

Imagine seeing the perfection in something as simple as an orange.  Or no longer stubbing your toe on the coffee table as you hunt for your keys.

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Aah . . . that’s better!

 

The Ostrich June 28, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Happiness, Humor, Joke.
Tags: , , ,
28 comments

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, “A hamburger, fries, and a coke,” and turns to the ostrich, “What’s yours?”

“I’ll have the same,” says the ostrich.

Ostrich ~ Wikipedia (in Public Domain)

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. “That will Be $9.40 please” The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, “A hamburger, fries, and a coke.”

The ostrich says, “I’ll have the same.”

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

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This becomes routine until the two enter again.  “The usual?” asks the waitress.

“No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato, and a salad,” says the man.

“Same,” says the ostrich.

The waitress brings the order and says, “That will be $32.62.” Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer.

“Excuse me, Sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?”

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“Well,” says the man, “several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.”

“Brilliant!” says the waitress. “Most people would ask for a Million Dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!”

“That’s right. Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,” says the man.

The waitress asks, “What’s with the ostrich?”

The man sighs and says, “My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  e-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

Be All That You Can Be June 25, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Gratitude, Happiness, Mindfulness.
Tags: , ,
38 comments

RWS_Tarot_01_MagicianBecome silent and listen.

Trust your original, spontaneous, generous, kind, and loving nature.

When you’re on the right track, you know it. You feel the flow of life and are more at ease.

That knowledge creates an amazing level of joy and peace in your life.  It releases your creativity, and increases your energy level.

You begin to discard the various masks you wear.  You worry less about your imaginary reputation with others.  You accept yourself as you are and others as they are.

With an honest heart as your guide, you strive to live each day as if it were your last.

And your first.

200px-BedivereLove and laughter shine from your eyes. Your actions reflect genuine kindness and concern.  You smile at your reflection.

Grateful for the many blessings in life, you keep minor annoyances in perspective, instead of blowing them out of proportion.

You learn from your mistakes, encouraged by the knowledge that you can do better.

Transformation doesn’t happen all at once.  You become.  It takes time.

Do not give up if you are not yet who you want to be.  Just be more fully the best you already are.

You can be an outstanding human being ~> you just can’t be a perfect one.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Related post: When We Blunder About * A Step of Faith (SuziCate) * We All Can Be A Ripple (Did That Just Happen?) * Your Words Echo (T4D)

Have You Lost Your Mind? June 22, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Happiness, Humor, People.
Tags: , , , ,
23 comments

“They tell me that you’ll lose your mind when you grow older.

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“What they don’t say is that you won’t miss it very much.”

~ Malcolm Cowley (1898-1989)

Aah . . . that’s better!

The Science of Happiness June 20, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Gratitude, Happiness, Health & Wellness, Mindfulness.
Tags: , , , ,
37 comments

Eeyore-SittingIn  Zen and the Art of Happiness, Chris Prentiss explains why gloomy thoughts create a body that, at the cellular level, is more able to feel gloominess than joyfulness:

Each cell in our body communicates with our brain via receptor molecules located on its surface.

Cells are defined by which receptors are on its surface and whether those receptors are occupied by ligands or not.

Receptors and ligands are “information molecules” used to communicate across systems such as the endocrine, neurological, gastrointestinal, and even the immune system.  Ligands come in 3 types (neurotransmitters, steroids, and peptides).  Up to 95% of ligands may be peptides, which govern emotions.

The peptides produced in the hypothalamus gland in the brain duplicate emotions we experience ~> anger, hate, sadness, frustration, enthusiasm, happiness, and joy.

These peptides are channeled to the pituitary gland and the bloodstream, where they visit all 20-30 trillion cells in the body.

After cruising around the bloodstream, peptides dock on the millions of receptors on a cell’s surface.  There, they influence our behavior, activity levels, and mood.

That’s right . . . these teeny tiny molecular bits affect our mood.  With that kind of clout, it’s no wonder that peptides have their very own science journal.

We rely on cell division for growth, repair, and replacement of worn out cells.  An estimated 300,000,000 cell divisions occur every minute of every day.

New cells are created according to what you think and feel.  Cells created when someone is “depressed” will have more receptors for depression and fewer receptors to receive feel-good peptides.

As a result of this mechanism, we are either spiraling upwards into greater and greater happiness or downwards into greater and greater sadness, anger, fear, depression, frustration, etc.

Scruffy-CatIf we feel depressed for an hour, we produce eighteen billion new cells that have receptors calling out for depressed type peptides.

It’s as if the trillions and trillions of receptors are all cupping little hands around megaphones while shouting, “Send us more depression!”

That’s why thinking gloomy thoughts creates a body that is more able to feel gloominess than joyfulness.

The more we engage in any type of emotion or behavior, the greater our desire for it becomes ~> that’s true for depression, anger, and happiness.

We create ourselves by what we think and feel.  Once we start to manage our thoughts, our personal belief system changes and we begin to create a body that is more able to feel happiness.

Tigger-PogoWe can use our emotions and thoughts to create a body that’s more receptive to feel-good states, with a better functioning immune system.

By staying in the present moment, and choosing happiness right now, we increase our level of happiness tomorrow.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Related post:  Researchers Find Link Between Peptide and Happiness  (Psych Central) * Become Susceptible to Happiness (Hindu Business Line)

Clap Along June 19, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Gratitude, Happiness, Music & Dance.
Tags: , , , ,
41 comments

I double dog dare you to listen to this without cracking a smile:

Lion-Side-ProfileHaving faith in whatever life offers brings greater joy and engagement with less fear, hesitation, and aversion.  Accepting life’s inherent uncertainty allows [us] to experience more awe toward the mysteries of life and less concern.

~ Lama Surya Das

Aah . . . that’s better!

Related post:  Happy! (Pix / Under The Oaks)

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