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A One-Of-A-Kind You! July 25, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Happiness, Humor, Special Events.
Tags: , , ,
9 comments

monkeysAnother year older?
You ought to be proud
You ought to get boisterous,
noistrous, and loud!

Just think of the things
you know how to do
The sorts of things no one
can do except you

Your brain’s full of wherefores
and who’s whos and whys.
You think someone else
has tried the same tries?

You’re one of a kind,
you’re uncommonly rare
You can’t be replaced
’cause there isn’t a spare

Okay, you’re another year older, it’s true . . .
But how many people
can say they are YOU?!

No one, that’s who!

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  Hallmark Dr. Seuss Card (sent by Betsy L.)

This is the other side of the coin from yesterday’s post.  You may not have a grand and glorious purpose to serve, but you do have a “job” to do.

Just Be . . . YOU!

Big Brother IS Watching You! July 22, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Humor, Joke, Life Balance, Mindfulness.
Tags: , , , ,
33 comments

2014-05-05 11-35-34_0037Do you ever get the sense that Big Brother is watching?

The sneaking suspicion that someone is recording every move you make?

Every step you take?

On your journey from Here to There.

Do you feel as if someone is peering over your shoulder?

Gauging your progress in getting from where you are to where you want to be?

Well don’t look now, but . . . you’re right!

Big

Brother

IS

Watching

You!

You’re being scrutinized like a bug under a microscope!

And while Big Brother is watching YOU . . . I’m going to make a run for it!

2014-07-13 16-40-11_0031

Aah . . . that’s better!

Related posts:  Privacy is Dead * Privacy Risks of Smart Phones * Häagen-Dazs & Pretzel: A Fractured Fairy Tale

Par For The Course July 19, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Happiness, Humor, Joke.
Tags: , , ,
31 comments

Golf-BallThe owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.

He called her into his office and said, “Y’all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?”

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, “Everthang but my earrings.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  e-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

Don’t Mess With Old People July 12, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Happiness, Humor, Joke.
Tags: , , ,
37 comments

Two businessmen in a new shopping mall were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be shop . . .

As yet, the shop wasn’t ready, with only a few shelves set up.

220px-Peep-at-Christies-Gillray

Gregory said, “Any minute now some pensioner is going to walk by, put their face to the window, and ask what we’re selling.”

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious old woman walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked:

“What are you selling here?”

In a voice dripping with sarcasm, Alfred replied, “We’re selling ass-holes.”

Without skipping a beat, the old dear nodded, “Must be doing well.  Only two left.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

 Source:  e-mail from unknown author (sent by Granny1947)

This Is Brilliant! July 11, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Happiness, Humor, Music & Dance.
Tags: , , ,
32 comments

I clicked on this without expecting much in the way of entertainment value:

Surprise!

Aah . . . that’s better!

What did you think about the sound of that Carrot Clarinet?

10 Things I Know About You July 10, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Blogs & Blogging, Fun & Games, Humor, People.
Tags: , , , ,
39 comments

Huey,-Dewey-And-LouieBlogging is a great way to get to know people from all around the globe.

From comment threads and posts, we learn about differences in food, culture, climate, and opinion.

But we also see similarities.

Here are 10 Things I Know About You:

1) You are reading this.

Grumpy gus2)  You are human.  Or a cyborg.  My bet is on human.

3) You can’t breathe through your nose when your tongue is out.

Put your tongue back in your mouth!  

That’s rude!

4) You can’t count all the hairs on your body.

5) You can’t wash your eyes with soap.

6) You can’t say the letter ”P” without moving your lips.

7) You just attempted to do it.

Donald-Duck-Laughing9) You are laughing at yourself.

10) You skipped No. 8.

11) You just checked to see if there is a No. 8.

So . . . how’d I do?

Did I get any wrong?

E-mail from unknown author (sent by Granny 1947)

Shifting Priorities July 9, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Humor, Joke, People.
Tags: , , , ,
24 comments

Tree-Frog-PerchedAn old man was walking in the forest when he heard by his feet a very weak voice.  He bent down to look and saw that the voice came from a little frog.

“I’m a beautiful and voluptuous princess, skilled in all the carnal pleasures of love. An evil queen, envious of my charms, turned me into a frog.  If you kiss me I will once again be a fair maiden, and will provide you with all the joys and delights of my ardent lust.”

The old man picked up the little frog and put her into his pocket.

Bewildered, the frog asked, “Aren’t you going to kiss me?”

“Nope,” replied the old man. “ At my age, it’s more fun to have a talking frog in my pocket than a sex maniac in my bed.”

E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

Related post:  A Talking Frog & Other Engineering Jokes

Can You Pass This Quick Quiz? July 7, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Humor, Life Lessons, Mindfulness.
Tags: , , ,
37 comments

Frog-CircusSomething to keep those “aging” grey cells active!

The Questions:

1. Johnny ‘s mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May.

What was the third child ‘s name?

2. The clerk at the butcher shop is five feet ten inches tall and wears size 13 sneakers.  What does he weigh?

3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?

4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?

5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly?

Xmas-Cat6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer.

How is this possible?

7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg.  Why not?

8. If you are running a race and pass the person in 2nd place, what place are you in now?

9. Which is correct to say: “The yolk of the egg are white” or “The yolk of the egg is white”?

get-attachment

10. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?

Tree-Frog-PerchedaThe Answers ~ score 10 points for each correct answer:

1. Johnny’s mother had three children. The first child was named April The second child was named May. What was the third child ‘s name?

Answer: Johnny

2. The clerk at the butcher shop is five feet ten inches tall, and wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?

Answer: Meat

3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?

Answer: Mt. Everest

4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?

Answer: None

5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly?

Answer: Incorrectly

Huey,-Dewey-And-Louie

6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer.

How is this possible?

Answer: Billy lives in the Southern Hemisphere

(LOTS of my blogging buddies got this one right!)

7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?

Answer: You can’t take pictures with a wooden leg. You need a camera or smart phone to take pictures.

Jogging8.  If you are running a race, and you pass the person in 2nd place, what place are you in now?

Answer: Second place.

9. Which is correct to say: “The yolk of the egg are white” or “The yolk of the egg is white”?

Answer: Neither.  The yolk of the egg is yellow.

10. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?

Answer: One big haystack.

Aah . . . that’s better!

How did you do?  Are your gray cells still in the prime of life?

E-mail from unknown author (sent by Granny 1947)

 

10 Ways to Enjoy the 4th of July! July 4, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Fun & Games, Gratitude, Special Events.
Tags: , , , ,
37 comments

In the U.S., Independence Day claims center stage on the Summer Fun Trifecta, sandwiched mid-way between Memorial Day’s kick off to summer and Labor Day’s return to reality.

Instead of shopping in crowded malls, decorating the house from top to bottom, or wrapping countless gifts, families and friends gather for picnics, cookouts, and backyard barbeques with the focus on food, fun and good old-fashioned togetherness.

Here are 10 ways to have a blast this 4th of July as you celebrate the freedoms we so often take for granted:

1.  Enjoy marching bands, patriotic anthems, and crowds waving the Stars and Stripes in time with the music at an Independence Day Parade.

IMGP3694

Or encourage the wee ones to put on a parade of their own, with pots and pans for drums!

2.  Pack a picnic and head to the beach, pool, park, or playground.  Or enjoy a fun old-fashioned gathering in your own backyard.

Invite a crowd!

3.  Organize a Scavenger Hunt.  Get everyone involved by playing on teams ~ pairing adults with children, or older kids with younger ones.

4.  Play backyard games ~ Croquet, Bocce Ball, Volleyball, Badminton, Horseshoes, Dodge Ball, Corn Hole,  Softball, Soccer, Frisbee, or Catch.

5.   Hold a mini-Olympics with a Relay Race, a Wheelbarrow Race, a Three-Legged Race, an Egg Toss, and the Long Jump.

Leave High Jumping and Sabre Tossing to the pros!

IMGP3696

6.  Cool off with a Water Balloon Fight or Dueling Water Pistols during the hottest part of the day.  Or run through the sprinkler with your kids.

7.  Have a Watermelon Seed Spitting Contest ~ judge contestants on distance, speed, accuracy, and enthusiasm.

8.  Catch fireflies or lightning bugs at dusk.  Release them before dawn.

9.  Before calling it a night, light up a few sparklers to wave around while singing the Star Spangled Banner or other patriotic tunes.

IMGP3698

10.  Attend a local community fireworks display to watch the  “bombs bursting in air” in glorious shades of Red, White, and Blue!

IMGP3703

Aah . . . that’s better!

“It is easy to take liberty for granted, when you have never had it taken from you.” ~ Anonymous

“Democracy is the government of the people, by the people, for the people.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

“We are free not because we claim freedom but because we practice it.” ~ William Faulkner

“Only our individual faith in freedom can keep us free.” ~ Dwight D. Eisenhower

“You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4th, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw
Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.” ~ Erma Bombeck

Related posts:  Ten FREE Activities To Enjoy With Kids * Ten Almost FREE Activities For Kids * Top Ten BETs * Ten More Fun Activities For Kids * Outdoor Fun For The Whole FamilyExplore the Great Outdoors

The Ostrich June 28, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Happiness, Humor, Joke.
Tags: , , ,
28 comments

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, “A hamburger, fries, and a coke,” and turns to the ostrich, “What’s yours?”

“I’ll have the same,” says the ostrich.

Ostrich ~ Wikipedia (in Public Domain)

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. “That will Be $9.40 please” The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, “A hamburger, fries, and a coke.”

The ostrich says, “I’ll have the same.”

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

250px-New_Orleans_City_of_Old_Romance_and_New_Opportunity_Crop_p_23_Moneybags

This becomes routine until the two enter again.  “The usual?” asks the waitress.

“No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato, and a salad,” says the man.

“Same,” says the ostrich.

The waitress brings the order and says, “That will be $32.62.” Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer.

“Excuse me, Sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?”

220px-1719_Tales_60

“Well,” says the man, “several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.”

“Brilliant!” says the waitress. “Most people would ask for a Million Dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!”

“That’s right. Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,” says the man.

The waitress asks, “What’s with the ostrich?”

The man sighs and says, “My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  e-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

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