Don’t. Just Don’t. December 12, 2013Posted by nrhatch in Blogs & Blogging, Humor, Poetry.
Tags: Blogs, Dissection, Frog, Humor, Marilyn Monroe, Poetry
I enjoy posts on writing tips, and silly bits, and places you been, and things you’ve seen.
And FOOD. Food is cool, especially with photos that make me drool.
But no snakes, or snails, or puppy dog tails.
Or frog’s legs. Or pig’s ears. Or tongue.
I don’t enjoy posts that pull apart a perfect pleasant poem or painting and try to imbue it with esoteric symbolism NEVER intended by the original creator.
I saw three pompous twats doing just that on TV a few months back. They analyzed a stunning B&W photo of Marilyn Monroe eating a cheeseburger at a Drive-In . . . to the death!
Their rambling and posturing transformed a FUN photo into a mixed up muddled up mess of pseudo-intellectual sociological BS.
The trio’s ramblings transported me back to High School English.
In case you’re wondering, dissecting frogs in HS Biology is as unnecessary and unhelpful as dissecting poetry ~ to us, to the poems, and to the frogs.
Not that YOU would ever do that . . . but just don’t.
Aah . . . that’s better!
Inspiration for this post/editorial comment: Help Shape My Content With This Scientifically Validated Poll (Eric J. Baker).
* * * * *
Thanks to a mad twist of Hamlet’s Shakespearean soliloquy, Col selected me to host Haiku Monday this week ~ Enter at Haiku Monday ~ (A Twist of) Fate
7 More Unpolished Stones December 2, 2013Posted by nrhatch in Art & Photography, Blogs & Blogging, Humor, Poetry.
Tags: Blogs, Clothing, Health, Humor, Poetry
Last time I created one of these impromptu posts of unpolished thoughts, people didn’t send up a roar of protest ~ at best, it was a whimper.
So, I’m going to do it again.
This time linking to specific posts which spawned my eclectic thinking:
1. Rainee did a post, It’s so easy to Avoid Doing Stuff, and ended by asking if we ever have days that don’t go according to plan. After a quick glance through various and sundry mental filing cabinets, I said:
Nope. Uh-uh. Never. All my days go exactly as planned.
As long as I PLAN to “go with the flow” and/or PROCRASTINATE.
2. Kate Crimmons wrote a fun and funny post, Is Anyone Really A Standard Size? While she focused on jeans, I considered my entire wardrobe:
I have every size clothing in my closet . . . and they all fit! I might be wearing XS, S, M, L, XL ~ it all depends on the manufacturer.
The only thing sure NOT to fit is the article marked “One Size Fits All.”
3. In Mother to Daughter ~ A Questionable Legacy, scientist and author, Joanne Valentine Simson, discussed the insidious messages girls receive from mothers and others. My experience was somewhat different:
I never remember being encouraged to downplay my intelligence in order not to compete with boys, nor do I remember being encouraged to pay undue attention to how I looked.
As a result I never got addicted to shopping for shoes or handbags.
I always knew I could be anything that I wanted to be. I never felt that my worth depended on who I married. When I married, I kept my maiden name and corrected people if they addressed cards to “Mrs. BFF” instead of using my name.
That said, my mother encouraged me to be a nurse because that was such a flexible profession for women. My father overheard her and said,”Why should she be a nurse? Why not a doctor?”
I fooled them both and went to Law School.
4. Kate Shrewsday did a fab post, The Priceless Art Bonfire, about the systematic destruction of religious artifacts during regime changes. My response:
Maybe it’s a good thing that some of these relics are no more.
One could wander museums from dawn to dusk for a lifetime and never see all the treasured antiquities “preserved for posterity.”
Perhaps we aren’t making headway in the HERE and NOW because we’ve spent too long staring over our shoulders at our posteriors?
5. Everyone’s got a story to tell . . . but not everyone is a storyteller:
Have you ever been “trapped” in a conversation that is going nowhere fast? Key facts are omitted, we circle back trying to scoop them up.
The story veers off in an unexpected direction and we wait, in vain, for it to return to the central thread.
In conversations like these, the temptation to interrupt is . . . intense.
6. BB’s publishing her first book of poetry. She solicited blurbs for the cover. Here’s mine:
After a round of golf (amid the kangas and the roos)
BB studies her school notes, then pens a poem or two
Her poetic blog is inspired, unequaled, without compare
And that’s because BB is full of . . . AU CONTRAIRE!
To see more of BB’s Bio Blurbs: Blurb Blurble Bloop ~ One Sentence Biography Competition.
7. In Choosing To Let Go, SuziCate addressed the benefits of “letting go” of the negatives (e.g., Anger, Doubt, Fear, Pain, Resentment, Jealousy). So true:
When we accept ourselves as we are . . . we accept others as they are.
We no longer feel the need to control “them” (e.g., by insisting on an apology). Instead, we choose to control our reactions to them.
Once we let our anger and resentment go (as well as our need for external approval) . . . “they” lose their power over us.
We are FREE at last. And FREE is the best place to BE!
Aah . . . that’s better!
Care to toss an “unpolished stone” into the comment pool?
The Ghosts of Posts Past October 29, 2013Posted by nrhatch in Art & Photography, Blogs & Blogging, People.
Tags: Art, Blogs, Dogs, Ghost, Paddleboarding, Photography, Watercolors
Blogging is a cyber-microcosm of life.
Regular visitors come and go. Just like in the real world, there is a constant ebb and flow of people, places, things, and thoughts.
Reading comments threads from past posts reveal these ghosts.
People who stopped by to share their views on the world and then vanished without a trace into the vast reaches of cyber space.
Some ghosts are missed. We wonder where they wander now. Absence oft makes the heart grow fonder.
Others . . . not so much. Out of sight, out of mind.
Here’s to the ghosts of posts past whose haunting refrain lingers in our hearts.
Aah . . . that’s better.
We loved watching this guy paddle-boarding with two dogs just before sunset at the Anna Maria Pier last week. It looked like both dogs had been outfitted with U.S.C.G. approved flotation devices.
I invited Tigger to go paddle-boarding with me next time. He declined.
13 Unpolished Gems . . . One Stone October 25, 2013Posted by nrhatch in Blogs & Blogging, Fun & Games, Humor, Word Play.
Tags: Facebook, Fun & Games, Fundraising, Humor, Sex, Snark, WordPress
Maybe writing primes the pump and keeps ideas flowing.
In any event, given the ever-growing backlog of draft posts incubating in my cyber desk, I’ve decided to toss out 13 esoteric, eclectic, extraneous, and unpolished “hidden gems” for pondering and perusal.
Here goes nothing:
(1) There is NOTHING like looking at my TO DO list for the day and realizing that most of the items on it have already been DONE!
(2) Magazine titles make me snort. For example: 16 Songs That EVERYONE Over The Age of 50 MUST Have. Seriously? There is NOTHING that everyone over the age of 50 would agree on except, perhaps, how lame lists like this really are.
And I don’t care what Supertramp says ~ do NOT take the long way home if you’re already in a hurry.
(3) People often underestimate the time it takes to get to know someone. Even after all these years, I’m still getting acquainted with the “real me.”
(4) When you don’t know, go with the flow. Have faith that you’ll end up where you need to be when you need to be there.
Besides, let’s say you veer off course, how are you ever gonna know?
(5) While we’re on the subject of faith, do those who believe in a personified deity picture God with eyes, ears, nose, mouth, chin, arms, legs, hands, feet?
How about a dick? Or is picturing God with sexual organs a form of blasphemy?
(6) And what about Jesus? Did he masturbate in his teens, succumbing to “sins of the flesh” before he knew he would be sitting on the right hand of an all-knowing all-seeing all-powerful vengeful God? For all eternity.
(7) Ever notice how some people are addicted to the idea of being addicted? They claim their “addictions” (i.e., eating cookies and being a couch potato) are why they are fat and unhappy. Bad habits are NOT addictions. They are just a convenient way to abrogate responsibility for our personal health & well-being.
Care for a cookie?
(8) OMPM (One Mistake People Make) ~> Plastic Surgery for Pets. When dogs are overweight, they do NOT need liposuction.
They need to go for a WALK!
(9) And speaking of walks, I do NOT support Walk for the Cure. Rather than having masses of people moving from Point A to Point B to raise money, I’d rather see them planting trees, picking up trash, renovating apartments for the homeless, helping in soup kitchens, etc.
You know, raising funds by actually DOING something to improve the world.
(10) On that note, I DO support many causes . . . I just don’t let others goad me into adopting THEIR causes as my own. In the AmeriCorps program at Salisbury University, members mentored and tutored at-risk youth. They enjoyed making a difference in the community. And I enjoyed watching them make a difference.
What? I supported them by being a cheerleader. It’s not always about tossing money at problems.
(11) Which reminds me, I refuse to be manipulated by all the non-monetized awards circulating through cyber space. If people want me to play by the rules, give acceptance speeches, nominate more bloggers, spill my guts, post the award on my sidebar, etc., etc., etc., they should attach a stipend to the award!
Yeah, baby. Show me the money!
(12) Did you hear that Facebook is claiming a trademark for the “Thumbs Up” sign? Right! FB came up with the “Thumbs Up” sign the same way that Al Gore dreamed up the Internet.
In their dreams!
(13) Are you getting tired of the LIKE button? Don’t you wish WordPress would offer more creative options? Pressing “Thought Provoking,” “Hysterically Funny,” “Awesome Photos,” and/or “Wild Applause” for this post would be way better than pressing LIKE, right?
Can you give me a Thumbs Up?
Log out of FB first, to ensure you don’t get sued for Trademark Infringement.
Aah . . . that’s better!
Nothing like killing 13 “gems” with one stone. If any of these thoughts SPARK YOUR SNARK, speak up.
C’mon . . . get your SNARK on!
Need tips? Visit Kate. Oh, wait, Kate says she lost her SNARK. Hmm . . . I don’t buy it. Here’s some SNARK she shared in that very post:
Need more SPARK for your SNARK? Check out Col’s post, Wild Weekend, in which he shares a poem about tons of Hippo Poo being deposited where fish pee, eat, drink, sleep, and have sex.
Oh, he didn’t mention sex? My bad.
It’s Opposite Day! July 14, 2013Posted by nrhatch in Blogs & Blogging, Happiness, Humor, Life Lessons.
Tags: George Costanza, Humor, Non-fiction, Seinfeld, The Opposite
WordPress prompted bloggers to do the opposite today:
If you normally write non-fiction, post a photo. If you normally post images, write fiction. If you normally write fiction, write a poem. If you normally write poetry, draw a picture. ~ WP Prompt ~ Opposite Day
Since I rarely post the WP Prompt, I decided to do the opposite and post it.
With a completely unrelated photo of Earth, Air, Kayaks, and Water.
Sometimes following our instinct is “just the thing” to do.
Unless our instincts are always wrong.
Remember George Costanza’s decision to do the “opposite”?
He decided that every instinct he’d ever had in life had been WRONG.
So he declared his intent to do the opposite, with surprising and wonderful results.
What about you?
Care to mix it up today?
Aah . . . that’s better!
Kate Needs A Few More Votes . . . June 21, 2013Posted by nrhatch in Blogs & Blogging, Bulletin Board, Writing & Writers.
Tags: Britain, Kate Pitt, Kate Shrewsday, Penguin Books, Wayfarer
Penguin Books wants a Penguin Wayfarer ~ someone to walk Britain during the Summer, chronicling the journey, talking about paths old and new, exploring the stories and myths that surround them.
The Wayfarer will share in writing, in film, and in tweets.
Kate Shrewsday would be a perfect Wayfarer ~ her writing makes even dry brittle grass come to life.
To vote: CLICK HERE, scroll to the 4th row, and click the VOTE button above Kate’s name ~“A Walk Around Caesar’s Camp, Bracknell” by Kate Pitt.
That’s it! No log-in required!
Aah . . . that’s better!
Vote For Kate! June 19, 2013Posted by nrhatch in Blogs & Blogging, Special Events, Writing & Writers.
Tags: Bracknell, Contest, Kate Pitt, Kate Shrewsday, Penguin Books
If you’re a fan of Kate Shrewsday’s writing (and who isn’t?), you can help her make her dreams come true.
Penguin Books wants a Penguin Wayfarer ~ someone to walk Britain during the Summer, chronicling the journey, talking about paths old and new, exploring the stories and myths that surround them. The Wayfarer will share in writing, in film, and in tweets.
And no one in all of Britain would be a better Wayfarer than Kate.
To vote for Kate: CLICK HERE!
Her entry is “A Walk Around Caesar’s Camp, Bracknell” (by Kate Pitt):
Best of luck, Kate!
Kate’s writing reminds me of this quote: The best way to become acquainted with a subject is to write a book about it. ~ Benjamin Disraeli
Everyone Loves A Good Mystery! June 17, 2013Posted by nrhatch in Blogs & Blogging, Bulletin Board, Writing & Writers.
Tags: Blogging, Blogs, Contest, Mystery, Writing Contest
Susanna is hosting another FABULOUS writing contest:
The Contest: Write a children’s story, in poetry or prose, maximum 400 words about the 4th of July in which a secret is revealed or a mystery is solved!
* You may choose any 4th of July setting you like: country, city or small town, sleep-away camp or vacation, with family or friends or all alone, at a parade, a picnic, a fireworks show or a bonfire, in the middle of the woods or in a country where the locals don’t celebrate 4th of July.
* Your secret or mystery doesn’t have to be earth-shattering. It could be:
Who took Granny’s award-winning Fourth of July cherry pie?
Or what did Robin tell Sarah who told Olivia who told Gracie about Anna in cabin 7?
Or where did the flags for the parade disappear to?
Or why doesn’t Becky Sue want to go to the fireworks show?
Or what Old Mrs. Hootenspiegal knows about the mayor!
Just reveal or solve a secret or mystery of some kind by the end.
* Your entry should be posted on your blog between Monday July 1 at 12:01 AM EDT and Friday July 5 at 11:59 PM EDT, and your post-specific link should be added to the link list on the official Fourth Of July Secret Mystery Contest post which will go up on Susanna’s blog on Monday July 1 and remain up through Sunday July 7. The post will remain up through Sunday to give everyone plenty of time to read, but the entry list will be closed at midnight Friday so Susanna has time to judge.
* If you don’t have a blog and would like to enter, copy and paste your entry into the comments on Susanna’s July 1st post by midnight Friday July 5th.
Oh, say can you see . . .
by the dawn’s early light
What’s been shrouded in mystery
all through the night?
Oh, the prize?
I’ll let Susanna tell you: The Fourth of July Secret Mystery Writing Contest
* * * * *
So . . . do you have a favorite 4th of July tradition? A picnic? A parade? A pie eating contest? A date with a hammock?