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Three Zebras and an Ass January 31, 2013

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Humor, Mindfulness, Word Play.
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IMGP2754bThree zebras wandered a dirt road enjoying the day, convivial conversation alternating with companionable silence.

An enormous ass ambled over to them and began to bray.  Loudly.

The ass, delighted to have an audience for his grievances, complained about the weather, the surface of the road, the cost of carrots, his mother-in-law’s tongue, the state of the barn . . .

As the ass dumped his ponderous pile of dung at the zebras’ hooves, the zebras did their best to cheer him up.

To no avail.

No matter what the zebras said, the ass insisted that HIS view of the world was the right view of the world.

Zion smiled, “At times, we must choose between being right and being happy.”

“Poppycock!  I’m happy BECAUSE I’m right!  It just annoys me when people are rude and don’t apologize for being boorish.  Why just the other day . . .  “

With that, the ass launched another stale tale.

Ziggy grinned, “We see the world behind our eyes.”

The ass snorted, “What utter nonsense!  I see things exactly as they are.”

Zodiac pricked up his ears, “I expect you’re right . . . most asses do see things exactly as they are.”

Satisfied, the ass ambled off in search of another audience.  As soon as he was out of sight, the zebras burst into fits of convulsive laughter.

“What an ass!”

zebras

Aah . . . that’s better!

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Comments»

1. deanabo - January 31, 2013

Hilarious!

nrhatch - January 31, 2013

Thanks, Deana. I had so much fun writing this. I may need to make it into a regular series. :mrgreen:

2. Barbara Backer-Gray - January 31, 2013

Hilarious! And so’s the joke.

nrhatch - January 31, 2013

Thanks, Barbara. It started life as “Four Donkeys and an Ass,” but Zebras are much funnier (and funner). They have just the right mix of ZEN and ZEST. :D

Barbara Backer-Gray - January 31, 2013

And you get to use that picture!

nrhatch - February 1, 2013

That’s a card I received from BFF . . . now framed on our bookcase. Their grins are contagious.

3. Don - January 31, 2013

Your perception is your reality – “I see things exactly as they are.” Good stuff Nancy.

nrhatch - January 31, 2013

Thanks, Don. When we get too caught up in our complaints, we don’t see things as THEY are, we see things as WE are. :D

tricia linden - February 2, 2013

How true, how true.

4. ericjbaker - January 31, 2013

Scott Adams (Dilbert creator) calls it the “I am the World” syndrome. I’ve had many occasions to render that diagnosis over the years when talking to someone who knows everything there is to know, because what he doesn’t know doesn’t exist.

nrhatch - January 31, 2013

Dilbert is one of the best comic strips ever . . . Scott Adams distills his ass-tute observations on humans in the work place down to their essence . . . or ass-sense. :D

5. diannegray - January 31, 2013

Fantastic! I’m absolutely loving these pearls of wisdom, Nancy :D

nrhatch - January 31, 2013

Thanks, Dianne! I really enjoyed writing this . . . zebras always make me S~M~I~L~E! :mrgreen:

diannegray - January 31, 2013

Oh – how did you make that amazing smiley face!???

nrhatch - January 31, 2013

That’s mrgreen! Just type : mrgreen : with NO SPACES.

6. colonialist - January 31, 2013

The mark of the truly stupid is when you can insult them without them being conscious of it!
Mind you, asses have giant intellects compared with the crowd of our locals who responded to trains not being on time, due to a collision caused by cable having been stolen which put signals out of action and then inept manual signalling, by burning some trains.
Hmm – I feel a Really Awful Rhyme coming on . .

nrhatch - January 31, 2013

One reason I’m such a fan of Jane Austen’s works is her ability to deliver cutting jabs with the utmost gentility. It’s also why I’m such a fan of Maggie Smith’s character in Downton Abbey ~ cutting blows landed with finesse.

And, yay, another Really Awful Rhyme!

7. Tom (Aquatom1968) - January 31, 2013

This made me smile, Nancy, and those laughing zebras – hilarious! :D

nrhatch - January 31, 2013

That photo completes the post with the best possible punctuation mark . . . LAUGHTER! :mrgreen:

8. Carl D'Agostino - January 31, 2013

Well the price of carrots certainly is an important issue….

nrhatch - January 31, 2013

Especially to herbivores! ;)

9. sweetdaysundertheoaks - January 31, 2013

Made me laugh Nancy, CH too, I just read it to him. I think it would be fun if you made it a regular series!

nrhatch - January 31, 2013

Thanks, Pix! Glad you both enjoyed. A series set around sarcastic zebras might be FUN. :D

Karen J - February 9, 2013

I second that notion! :idea:

nrhatch - February 9, 2013

I shall have to put my thinking cap on. Thanks, Karen.

Karen J - February 9, 2013
nrhatch - February 9, 2013

If I had a wee one to buy for, I would definitely be interested in that baby beanie. :D

10. Andra Watkins - January 31, 2013

Inexplicably, this post brought back driving through the countryside and seeing a zebra in a horse pen on the side of the road……..

nrhatch - January 31, 2013

Ooh . . . FUN! That sounds like the movie STRIPES about the zebra turned race horse. :D

11. jannatwrites - February 1, 2013

That last picture is too much! Love the third zebra’s comment. Totally went over his head, he was so absorbed in himself!

nrhatch - February 1, 2013

Zebras are accomplished Zinger Slingers . . . their sarcasm zips past all but the most ass-tute asses. :mrgreen:

12. vivinfrance - February 1, 2013

Very funny, but also very wise – like a parable.

nrhatch - February 1, 2013

Thanks, Viv. Much like the zebras, I try to share what works for me with others. But, I confess, when I share tips on mindfulness with someone who REFUSES to open their eyes, preferring instead to grope about in the dark, I do snicker . . . just a little. :roll:

13. Food,Photography & France - February 1, 2013

I’ve met him:)

nrhatch - February 1, 2013

Yup. He’s out there.

14. SidevieW - February 1, 2013

We all see the world through our own eyes and blinkers

nrhatch - February 1, 2013

Yup. Most of us see the world through a clouded lens. When we stop judging everything as good, bad, right, wrong, we begin to see things as they are.

When we stop looking at life through the tinted and dirty lens of past experience, the clouds part and we can see the sun.

SidevieW - February 1, 2013

It can be hard to leave behind what you “know” to be true

nrhatch - February 1, 2013

It becomes easier with practice . . . once we see that other perspectives are available, we keep an eye out for them.

15. Tori Nelson - February 1, 2013

Hahaha. I’m super happy and super wrong most of the time! LOVE this post :)

nrhatch - February 1, 2013

Thanks, Tori! When we let go of the need to be “right” . . . we reclaim our power. We no longer crumple into a ball, or feel the need to retaliate, at a harsh glance or an unkind word. People who toss angry words in our direction rarely disturb our inner peace. They are mere pebbles on the path.

When we stem the tide of frivolous thoughts endlessly cycling through our brain, we eliminate much of the stress and confusion we’ve felt because we’re no longer distracted by Ego’s petty concerns.

We are not mired in the past by sad, stale thoughts. We’re not caught up in endless worry about the future. We are right here, right now . . . where happiness, joy, peace, tranquility, and serenity reside.

16. bluebee - February 1, 2013

My day has only just started and it is already made :-D That photo is too funny, haha

nrhatch - February 1, 2013

That photo elevates the post to new heights of levity! :D

17. sufilight - February 2, 2013

Hahaha, a Zebra series would be fun! Perception also attracts circumstances into our lives. I was watching “Undercover Boss” tonight, and the female Chief Officer of Boston Markets was in Florida. A young man kept whining about his job, and said he hated the customers, especially children and older people. Needless to say the angry and heartbroken Chief fired him. He felt it was unfair that he couldn’t talk about his customers behind their back. LOL. In the meantime employees from other chains had a great attitude about their jobs and ended up getting not only promotions but $20,000; one manager in NC received even more money for her education and that of her son’s.

nrhatch - February 2, 2013

I saw a commercial that showed the guy who got fired saying, “I can’t even begin to tell you how much I hate people. I mean I really hate them.” Not the employee you want at the front counter waiting on customers. ;)

Folks like that were born to be bean counters. :D

sufilight - February 2, 2013

:D :D

18. Perfecting Motherhood - February 2, 2013

I know those stools, they’re from the Rainforest Cafe!

nrhatch - February 2, 2013

Yes! We went this past summer with our youngest nephew. Loved the decor. :mrgreen:

Perfecting Motherhood - February 2, 2013

My kids freaked out when I took them there. The rainstorm, the thunder and the gorilla screams were a little to much. But they keep talking about it today and want to go back. The closest is in Anaheim in the Disney village, we should take a day trip there during a short vacation.

nrhatch - February 2, 2013

At the time, they were scared and now they remember the place fondly . . . I guess they enjoyed being “safely scared.” Hope you get a chance to take them again soon.

19. kateshrewsday - February 2, 2013

Lovely story: we have a choice as to how to respond to the events of our lives. Let me be a zebra and not an ass :-)

nrhatch - February 2, 2013

You definitely remind me more of the former than the latter, Kate . . . especially with your tales of Al, Felix, Maddie, Macauley, and Clive. I don’t even detect a hint of a whine when you are sidelined by a migraine.

20. Booksphotographsandartwork - February 4, 2013

Sadly I am more like hmmm the ass. I try to be a Zebra! I love the photo of them, that is so beautiful.

nrhatch - February 4, 2013

Thanks, Linda. Some days we’re zebras. Other days, not so much. But we keep trying. :D

21. Playamart - Zeebra Designs - February 8, 2013

how great! thanks so much for pointing me to this post!
z

nrhatch - February 8, 2013

Zebras rock! :D


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