Three Zebras and an Ass January 31, 2013
Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Humor, Mindfulness, Word Play.Tags: Ass, Happiness, Humor, Mindfulness, Word Play, Zebra
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Three zebras wandered a dirt road enjoying the day, convivial conversation alternating with companionable silence.
An enormous ass ambled over to them and began to bray. Loudly.
The ass, delighted to have an audience for his grievances, complained about the weather, the surface of the road, the cost of carrots, his mother-in-law’s tongue, the state of the barn . . .
As the ass dumped his ponderous pile of dung at the zebras’ hooves, the zebras did their best to cheer him up.
To no avail.
No matter what the zebras said, the ass insisted that HIS view of the world was the right view of the world.
Zion smiled, “At times, we must choose between being right and being happy.”
“Poppycock! I’m happy BECAUSE I’m right! It just annoys me when people are rude and don’t apologize for being boorish. Why just the other day . . . ”
With that, the ass launched another stale tale.
Ziggy grinned, “We see the world behind our eyes.”
The ass snorted, “What utter nonsense! I see things exactly as they are.”
Zodiac pricked up his ears, “I expect you’re right . . . most asses do see things exactly as they are.”
Satisfied, the ass ambled off in search of another audience. As soon as he was out of sight, the zebras burst into fits of convulsive laughter.
“What an ass!”
Aah . . . that’s better!
Hilarious!
Thanks, Deana. I had so much fun writing this. I may need to make it into a regular series.
Hilarious! And so’s the joke.
Thanks, Barbara. It started life as “Four Donkeys and an Ass,” but Zebras are much funnier (and funner). They have just the right mix of ZEN and ZEST.
And you get to use that picture!
That’s a card I received from BFF . . . now framed on our bookcase. Their grins are contagious.
Your perception is your reality – “I see things exactly as they are.” Good stuff Nancy.
Thanks, Don. When we get too caught up in our complaints, we don’t see things as THEY are, we see things as WE are.
How true, how true.
Scott Adams (Dilbert creator) calls it the “I am the World” syndrome. I’ve had many occasions to render that diagnosis over the years when talking to someone who knows everything there is to know, because what he doesn’t know doesn’t exist.
Dilbert is one of the best comic strips ever . . . Scott Adams distills his ass-tute observations on humans in the work place down to their essence . . . or ass-sense.
Fantastic! I’m absolutely loving these pearls of wisdom, Nancy
Thanks, Dianne! I really enjoyed writing this . . . zebras always make me S~M~I~L~E!
Oh – how did you make that amazing smiley face!???
That’s mrgreen! Just type : mrgreen : with NO SPACES.
The mark of the truly stupid is when you can insult them without them being conscious of it!
Mind you, asses have giant intellects compared with the crowd of our locals who responded to trains not being on time, due to a collision caused by cable having been stolen which put signals out of action and then inept manual signalling, by burning some trains.
Hmm – I feel a Really Awful Rhyme coming on . .
One reason I’m such a fan of Jane Austen’s works is her ability to deliver cutting jabs with the utmost gentility. It’s also why I’m such a fan of Maggie Smith’s character in Downton Abbey ~ cutting blows landed with finesse.
And, yay, another Really Awful Rhyme!
This made me smile, Nancy, and those laughing zebras – hilarious!
That photo completes the post with the best possible punctuation mark . . . LAUGHTER!
Well the price of carrots certainly is an important issue….
Especially to herbivores!
Made me laugh Nancy, CH too, I just read it to him. I think it would be fun if you made it a regular series!
Thanks, Pix! Glad you both enjoyed. A series set around sarcastic zebras might be FUN.
I second that notion!
I shall have to put my thinking cap on. Thanks, Karen.
Ooh! This one? http://www.ebay.com/itm/SONNI-Vintage-Ladies-Zebra-Hat-/150490207820#vi-content or this other one? http://www.etsy.com/listing/111022403/little-zebra-beanie-hat-with-optional?ref=similar_items_sash
If I had a wee one to buy for, I would definitely be interested in that baby beanie.
Inexplicably, this post brought back driving through the countryside and seeing a zebra in a horse pen on the side of the road……..
Ooh . . . FUN! That sounds like the movie STRIPES about the zebra turned race horse.
That last picture is too much! Love the third zebra’s comment. Totally went over his head, he was so absorbed in himself!
Zebras are accomplished Zinger Slingers . . . their sarcasm zips past all but the most ass-tute asses.
Very funny, but also very wise – like a parable.
Thanks, Viv. Much like the zebras, I try to share what works for me with others. But, I confess, when I share tips on mindfulness with someone who REFUSES to open their eyes, preferring instead to grope about in the dark, I do snicker . . . just a little.
I’ve met him:)
Yup. He’s out there.
We all see the world through our own eyes and blinkers
Yup. Most of us see the world through a clouded lens. When we stop judging everything as good, bad, right, wrong, we begin to see things as they are.
When we stop looking at life through the tinted and dirty lens of past experience, the clouds part and we can see the sun.
It can be hard to leave behind what you “know” to be true
It becomes easier with practice . . . once we see that other perspectives are available, we keep an eye out for them.
Hahaha. I’m super happy and super wrong most of the time! LOVE this post
Thanks, Tori! When we let go of the need to be “right” . . . we reclaim our power. We no longer crumple into a ball, or feel the need to retaliate, at a harsh glance or an unkind word. People who toss angry words in our direction rarely disturb our inner peace. They are mere pebbles on the path.
When we stem the tide of frivolous thoughts endlessly cycling through our brain, we eliminate much of the stress and confusion we’ve felt because we’re no longer distracted by Ego’s petty concerns.
We are not mired in the past by sad, stale thoughts. We’re not caught up in endless worry about the future. We are right here, right now . . . where happiness, joy, peace, tranquility, and serenity reside.
My day has only just started and it is already made
That photo is too funny, haha
That photo elevates the post to new heights of levity!
Hahaha, a Zebra series would be fun! Perception also attracts circumstances into our lives. I was watching “Undercover Boss” tonight, and the female Chief Officer of Boston Markets was in Florida. A young man kept whining about his job, and said he hated the customers, especially children and older people. Needless to say the angry and heartbroken Chief fired him. He felt it was unfair that he couldn’t talk about his customers behind their back. LOL. In the meantime employees from other chains had a great attitude about their jobs and ended up getting not only promotions but $20,000; one manager in NC received even more money for her education and that of her son’s.
I saw a commercial that showed the guy who got fired saying, “I can’t even begin to tell you how much I hate people. I mean I really hate them.” Not the employee you want at the front counter waiting on customers.
Folks like that were born to be bean counters.
I know those stools, they’re from the Rainforest Cafe!
Yes! We went this past summer with our youngest nephew. Loved the decor.
My kids freaked out when I took them there. The rainstorm, the thunder and the gorilla screams were a little to much. But they keep talking about it today and want to go back. The closest is in Anaheim in the Disney village, we should take a day trip there during a short vacation.
At the time, they were scared and now they remember the place fondly . . . I guess they enjoyed being “safely scared.” Hope you get a chance to take them again soon.
Lovely story: we have a choice as to how to respond to the events of our lives. Let me be a zebra and not an ass
You definitely remind me more of the former than the latter, Kate . . . especially with your tales of Al, Felix, Maddie, Macauley, and Clive. I don’t even detect a hint of a whine when you are sidelined by a migraine.
Sadly I am more like hmmm the ass. I try to be a Zebra! I love the photo of them, that is so beautiful.
Thanks, Linda. Some days we’re zebras. Other days, not so much. But we keep trying.
how great! thanks so much for pointing me to this post!
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Zebras rock!