No Pun In Ten Did January 22, 2013
Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Humor, Joke, Word Play.Tags: Fun & Games, Humor, Pun, wordplay
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1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess shakes her head and says, “I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion per passenger.”
2. Two fish swim directly into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says . . . “Dam!”
3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. It sank. They didn’t realize you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
4. A thief got stuck in wet cement . . . he became a hardened criminal.
5. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France results in Linoleum Blown Apart.
6. What do you call a short fortune teller who escapes from prison? A small medium at large.
7. What happened to the dead batteries? They were given away free of charge.
8. What happened to the guy who didn’t pay his exorcist? He was repossessed.
9. You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
10. Roger sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh . . . no pun in ten did.
Okay . . . let’s help Roger out. What’s your favorite pun?
Related posts: All In A Day’s Work * Live Laugh and Learn * Virtual Reality * (Duck) Soup to Nuts * Crime Doesn’t Pay (Much) * That’s Gonna Leave A Mark
Source: e-mail with old and new-to-me groaners (sent by Joe M.)
Love puns…thank for the smile.
Me too . . . clever puns remind us how FUN words can be.
Awesome. Made me laugh the whole way through
Yay! Fun with puns . . . cuz puns is fun.
A real chuckle-fest. My favorite one was about the Eskimos in the kayak. For some reason, I could visualize the whole thing, including the surprised expression on their faces when their craft sank. lol
I thought that one was quite clever . . . glad you enjoyed a chuckle or two.
My favorite puns are by George Carlin, so I probably should not repeat them here.
Thank you for your restraint! George Carlin’s observations on life are so wise. My favorite routine of his is about his STUFF!
I think half my Anvil stories were built around puns.
Yes . . . very punny!
“There’s nothing funny here, Roger!”. I repeatedly heard that line from my teachers throughout my school days.
Teachers can be redundant and repetitive, eh?
I’m thinking. If I sit up all night it will dawn on me!
Good one! Thanks, Grannymar.
Trust you, Nancy, only you can give away puns and get away with it. Love them all!
It’s my attitude of latitude that allows me to get away with give away puns. Thanks, Seeker!
Took me a while to get #5 but I did!
That one doesn’t jump out at you . . . unless you majored in French.
#9..
I know a lot of people can’t budge it.
It’s been a very punny week, with the Tesco horsemeat-in-100%beefburgers scandal.
Has this been going on furlong?
I check my burgers. Aaaaaand they’re off!
And now there’s uniquorn in the veggie burgers…..
Thanks for these puns.
It’s hard to keep track of what we eat . . .
This is very funny, Nancy! I liked 6 and 10 the most.
I’m currently reading a book about anti-gravity – it’s impossible to put down
Awesome addition, Dianne! And #10 is my favorite too . . . hence the title of the post.
I must share some of these with Maddie and Felix. They would love them!
I hope they enjoy these punny puns.
I love these. I literally laughed out loud.
Yay! Word play can be quite punny.
1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess shakes her head and says, “I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion per passenger.” This one is my favourite – I haven’t heard of it before and it has great imagery.
That one made me grin ~ I heard the stewardess admonish the greedy vulture in quiet modulated tones.
Thanks for that – you made my day.
Yay! Puns are a perennial pleaser.
Great laugh Nancy
Not quite puns but…
Someone shot a hole in Bridgette Bardot’s bathroom window – Inspector Maigret is looking into it.
What do you call a man wearing 7 balaclava helmets? Anything you like – he can’t hear you!
Good ones, Martin. Word play is great fun for lexophiles.
These were all good, but I really liked the first two. Too funny!
The carrion one is drop dead punny.
I love the vulture joke, it made me spill my tea.
My son shared a cute joke the other day:
Why did the eel cross the road?
To get to the other tide!
That’s great ~ 9 out of 10 eels have lisps (but no limbs)!
Thanks for the chuckles, this one made me chuckle louder.
“What do you call a short fortune teller who escapes from prison? A small medium at large.”
I can see her now . . . hiding her prison garb in gauzy bandannas and other colorful paraphernalia.