When Life Goes Awry January 8, 2013
Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Life Balance, Mindfulness, Spirituality & Faith.Tags: Adages, Aphorisms, Faith, God, Laughter, Quips, Quotes
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When life goes awry . . .
* Some shrug and say, “Shit Happens” or “Life is a crap shoot and we are the targets.”
* Others maneuver around potholes in the road by seeing them as Fate or Karma or Kismet or . . . an opportunity to learn humility by having their faces ground into the dirt.
* Still others placate themselves by saying, “It’s God’s will.” (That’s hard for me to swallow. A ”god” who hand-picks which children suffer from cancer, abuse, or getting shot at their desks in school is not the “god” for me.)
Whatever our beliefs, we all have coping mechanisms that work for us (or against us). When faced with the agonies and absurdities of life, I rely on adages and aphorisms.
* Hardship is inevitable. Misery is optional.
* Bad things happen. Laugh when you can.
* Life is better with laughter.
* We do not laugh because we are happy. We are happy because we laugh.
* How you relate to the issue IS the issue.
* Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.
* There is ALWAYS something to laugh about.
There is only one way to achieve lasting happiness.
That way is simple: Be happy.
Aah . . . that’s better!
“There is ALWAYS something to laugh about.”
this is so true! living in Portugal there certainly is. Even if we don’t think something is particularly funny at the time because we are so exasperated or cross, when we then relay the story to someone else it sounds like something from a comedy sketch.
I personally think too many people take themselves too seriously.
I agree, PiP! And when we take ourselves too seriously . . . we tend to get indigestion.
Bad things are going to happen. The important question isn’t really why. There are two questions that should be asked. One is, “How do you avoid these things?” The second is, “When bad things do happen, what should be done to fix the damage?”
When Hurricane Sandy struck Long Island, and the surrounding communities in New York City, and New Jersey, people didn’t waste time worrying about why. We got to work, doing as much as possible to clear the streets, get the electricity and power working again; and giving as much aid as was possible to the devastated neighboring communities.
At my Church, people have been leaving bundles of clothing and bags of groceries for disaster victims. A member of the congregation has regularly been placing them in the back of his pick up truck, and driving it all to the distribution centers.
The problems are far from over in the disaster areas. It may take years for homes to be rebuilt, and FEMA has been inexcusably slow in providing temporary housing.
As for why this happened? The Hurricane struck exactly one week before the Presidential Election. A week later, the devastating northeaster struck on the day after the election. I’m not saying that I believe there was any connection. I’m just wondering.
Good thoughts . . . my family donated a houseful of furniture to the Red Cross to distribute to victims of the disaster.
I thank your family for their donation. I’m sure that whoever received what those items were truly grateful. So much has been done, and yet there is still so much to do. We are all very grateful.
Hurricanes are a force to be reckoned with . . . not for the faint of heart. I doubt that some areas of coastline will ever return to pre-Sandy status.
If life is a lemon (sour), make lemonades…
Just a spoonful of sugar makes the sour go down.
I had to laugh just this morning, Nancy, to keep from having a rough day.
When I get anxious, the best antidote I’ve found is a hearty full bellied give-it-all-you-got guffaw!
Loved the post. Just what I needed to hear.
Wonderful! I searched around in my draft posts and this one screamed out, “Pick me! Pick me!”
I like your approach. I’ve had a problem on my mind that is pulling me towards anxiety, and the thought that keeps coming to my mind is, “at least this is fixable.” It isn’t something permanent, and I don’t need to give up a feeling of well-being while we wait it out. That’s new for me. There are a lot of things, of course, which aren’t fixable, and I guess for those times I’ll have to pay attention to my coping mechanisms. Isn’t it interesting how many people plain old don’t cope? I’d like to improve my response time to always exhibit resilience. I have a way to go there!
If we don’t train ourselves to “bounce back” . . . we tend to collapse into a soggy pool of tears, anger, guilt, and anxiety.
We each need to experiment to find out what works best for us.
It’s always comforting to me sometimes when life hands me a slider that I’m not the only one that goes through crap like that. You can only take it one day at a time. It’s the only way to get through it. And lots of heavy sighing.
Yes ~ one day, hour, or minute at a time is what it takes sometimes.
Inch by inch, life’s a cinch. Yard by yard, life is hard.
Happiness is a decision. Loved the post.
Thanks, Don. This morning, while bouncing around in Water Aerobics, I was HAPPY . . . for no reason, every reason, and any reason. It felt GREAT.
Great post NR…you know how I love to laugh.
And you know how much we love it when you make US laugh.
A phrase I’ve recently heard again is ‘the problem isn’t the problem… the way you see the problem is the problem’ (it’s a Captain Jack Sparrow phrase I believe) which makes me stop and look at things in a slightly different way. It’s a bit like your ‘How you relate to the issue IS the issue’ quote… I like seeing things differently, Nancy!
Yes! Captain Jack Sparrow is correct . . . many of our problems are self-created when we take offense when none was intended, when we expect perfection in ourselves and others, and when we forget to LAUGH.
I love these – “We do not laugh because we are happy. We are happy because we laugh” and “How you relate to the issue IS the issue”.
My mother’s favorite saying has always been “It’s not what happens to you, it’s how you deal with it that is important”. So true.
Wonderful post, Nancy
Thanks, Dianne. These aphorisms (and others) stand me in good stead . . . especially when I get in a funky funk. Remembering to laugh is almost always the fastest way out.
Shit Happens is my motto. As long as you know it happens, then you’re ready for it. My kids tend to say “that’s not fair”. Every time they do, I reply, “life is not fair, so get used to it”! They may as well toughen up early, to avoid major disappointments later, right?
I don’t know if you saw my changes to my 101 in 1001 list I posted yesterday. I’m focusing on happy this year, as well as lots of goals I want to reach, because it will be a nice change from last year. I’m very excited about 2013 and I hope my excitement will last!
Awesome. Glad to hear it, Milka . . . if we don’t change, we stagnate.
There are two ways to achieve contentment: Get every desire you have met or reduce your desires.
Yes . . . wanting less is a way to feel “rich” indeed.
Great post Nancy ~ you could have written it just for me! I’m going through tricky times with my adult daughter, who cut off all contact with me before Christmas, so I didn’t get to see her or my grandchildren. Reading your wise words and the comments beneath them remind me to stay centred, focusing on my own happiness and not dwell on her problems, or my own sense of helplessness and frustration. Like Debra (Three Well Beings) I just have to wait it out patiently, bearing in mind that misery is optional.
Yes, don’t struggle against the current to the point of exhaustion. Remember to breathe, relax, repeat. Go with the flow. It will be easier to sort things through with your daughter if you have taken care of yourself in the interim. Good luck.
I just got an energy lift reading your post and all the comments. What caught my attention is your suggestion to laugh when life gets tough. I am going to do this, as I laugh easily. Usually my coping mechanism is to meditate, chant or focus on what’s uplifting to help me cope, but rarely think of laughing when facing a challenge .
I find that meditation calms me down, allowing me to view the situation with clarity . . . but laughter breaks the spell of negativity and hands me the key.
I love to watch the Dalai Lama talking . . . he laughs easily and often. He lightens serious subjects with twinkling eyes, a warm smile, and sprinkles of laughter. He realizes that the more we laugh, the happier we become, especially when the world seems to have gone awry.
Now you’ve started that, ‘Don’t worry, be happy now’ song in my head. How do I get rid of it?
*ambles off going, ‘La, la-la, la, li-la li-la, li-la li-la!’*
Why would you want to get rid of it? I love it when that song starts playing in my head:
Here’s a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note
Don’t Worry.
Be Happy.
Yep, there is always something to laugh about!
My sense of humor is my most valuable possession . . . when stormy seas rage around me, laughter ALWAYS restores me to a more even keel.
A very good refresher!
I love aphorisms . . . they’re potent portables.
Laughter is the one thing we should be doing in excess. “Hardship is inevitable. Misery is optional.” – love this one. It speaks to how we affect our outlook. If we wallow in the ‘badness’, how could we possibly notice anything good?
Yes! The more myopic our focus on inevitable hardships, the more we miss “the good” . . . which makes our hardships harder.
When we expand our focus, we see a brighter horizon.
Good post. I still say “shit happens” as a way of blowing things off as insignificant, I don’t give those things any of my time.
Yes! Some things are not worth worrying about . . . they are what they are.