Cry Baby! December 30, 2012Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Humor, Special Events.
Tags: Bacon, Food, Humor, Liver, Pets, Special Events
One morning (before Betsy’s arrival), Doug started crying. Mom changed him. Still crying. She fed him. Still crying. She put him down for a nap. Still crying. Nothing worked to stem the steady tide of tears.
As lunchtime rolled around, with Doug screaming bloody murder in the background, Mom decided to let Jim and me have a picnic lunch in the backyard ~ so we could eat away from the noise, noise, noise, noise, noise.
Since she hadn’t planned on serving us a picnic lunch, Mom didn’t have any traditional picnic fare on hand ~ and with three young children, one purple with virtual apoplexy, she wasn’t about to run to the store.
No problem. Ever the resourceful type, she decided to serve us one of her favorite meals ~ liver and bacon!
On a picnic!
What was she thinking?
As she sautéed up the liver and bacon, Doug continued crying. As she set up a small table and chairs for us in the backyard, Doug continued crying. As she carried out plates of liver to us, Doug continued crying.
When I looked at the plate of food she placed in front of me, I started crying.
At the time, we had a Cocker Spaniel named Muffin. Old, no longer house-broken, and without any real tolerance for children, Muffin was not an ideal family pet. But, as I stared in dismay at the liver and bacon on my plate, her short-comings were not in the forefront of my mind because Muffin had one redeeming virtue . . . she loved liver.
So, with Doug still crying in the background, I fed my liver to the dog.
Jim looked over at me, smiled, and said, “I’m telling.”
As it turned out, Jim did not get a chance to tattle on me ~ Mom had seen the whole thing from the kitchen window.
When she came back outside carrying a plate, I assumed it was dessert.
She placed a second portion of liver in front of me, grabbed the dog by the collar, and returned to the house to check on Doug, who was still crying.
Now, at this point, Jim was really smiling . . . a Grinch-y Grin curled up from his lips as he reached the halfway point of his liver and entered the home-stretch toward dessert.
In contrast, I hadn’t even left the starting gate, nor did I plan to.
I hated liver and knew (even though I was not quite two) that liver had no place on a picnic.
Hmm . . . perhaps this picnic signaled the advent of my vegetarian lifestyle.
I sat there, letting the liver congeal on my plate, without taking a single bite, while Doug continued to serenade us with salty sobs in the background.
When Mom returned for Jim’s plate, she took one look at my untouched plate, and said, in her best Scottish brogue, “Ye canna ha’ yer pudding until ye eat yer meat.”
Life is so unfair at times.
As I burst into salty sobs of my own, with Doug competing for attention in the background, I thought . . . What a Cry Baby!
He doesn’t even have to eat liver!
WP Daily Prompt ~ The Early Years (write page 3 of your Autobiography)